![\"Bacon](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/baconranch.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The best way to describe the McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich is call it the result of a wild sex romp between a McChicken Sandwich and a Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad. <\/p>\n
Imagine the oily and wet action with lettuce flying everywhere and sesame seed buns being slapped. <\/p>\n
Oh yeah!<\/p>\n
Oh wait! What were we talking about again?<\/p>\n
Oh yes. After eating the Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich value meal, I have to say that I’m not impressed with it at all. Hence my attempt to make it seem exciting with my “What if they got it on?” introduction.<\/p>\n
Nothing really stood out with the sandwich. The ranch sauce wasn’t anything special; I know I could buy a better tasting ranch dressing from the national grocery store chain I shop at. The lettuce was iceberg lettuce, which doesn’t have much nutritional value, but then again if you’re buying fast food, you’re probably not too worried about nutritional value.<\/p>\n
I think my friend was right to ridicule me for breaking my no-fast-food rule by going to McDonald’s. Their menu just isn’t very exciting and the food isn’t very good.<\/p>\n
The only things I would go to McDonald’s for are their French fries and $1 hot fudge sundaes. Mmm, $1 hot fudge sundae… Mmm…<\/p>\n
I’ll be right back.<\/p>\n
(15 minutes later)<\/p>\n
Ooh, $1 hot fudge sundae.<\/p>\n
Oh crap, I got hot fudge on my keyboard. <\/p>\n
Dammit! They didn’t give me any napkins! Why don’t they EVER give me napkins?<\/p>\n
Well I’m too lazy to walk to the kitchen to get a paper towel, so I guess I’m going to have to lick it off.<\/p>\n
There, it’s gone.<\/p>\n
Man, this review was as boring as the McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich. <\/p>\n
Maybe I should get back to writing about the salad tossing sex romp?<\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $4.99 (value meal)
\nRating:<\/b> 2 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> I got a $1 hot fudge sundae.
\nCons:<\/b> Nothing impressive. Uses crappy iceberg lettuce. Ranch sauce wasn’t very good.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The best way to describe the McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Sandwich is call it the result of a wild sex romp between a McChicken Sandwich and a Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch Salad. Imagine the oily and wet action with lettuce flying everywhere and sesame seed buns being slapped. Oh yeah! Oh wait! What were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1477,1481],"class_list":["post-17","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-fast-food","tag-mcdonalds"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":55376,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/03\/12\/mcdonalds-bacon-ranch-mccrispy-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":17,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: McDonald’s Bacon Ranch McCrispy","author":"Marvo","date":"March 12, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"The McCrispy is a rebranding of McDonald's Crispy Chicken Sandwich, and it's a much better name than the wordy and generic Crispy Chicken Sandwich. 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