{"id":176,"date":"2005-03-22T02:04:54","date_gmt":"2005-03-22T12:04:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=176"},"modified":"2023-08-28T16:10:53","modified_gmt":"2023-08-29T02:10:53","slug":"kelloggs-tiger-power","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/03\/22\/kelloggs-tiger-power\/","title":{"rendered":"Kellogg\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Tiger Power"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Tiger<\/p>\n

Tony the Tiger, why have you turned into such a pussy…cat?<\/p>\n

Have you sold out? Have you been pressured by consumer groups who think your cereals are fattening children? Is someone trying to blackmail you with a sex tape of you with a hippopotamus? Or are they blackmailing you with a secret, like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re actually a zebra with extensive plastic surgery?<\/p>\n

Geez, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re the only cereal spokesperson who has secrets. For example, Toucan Sam is gay. Why do you think they call it Froot Loops? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s definitely not because of the fruity flavors. <\/p>\n

Then there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the Trix Rabbit, who was a kinky, cross-dressing, role-playing prostitute, before he got the Trix gig. He could fulfill anyone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fantasy…for the right price. Why do you think he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s so good with disguises? <\/p>\n

Whatever it was, at least tell me why you have unleashed your \u00e2\u20ac\u0153lightly sweetened\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Tiger Power cereal upon the masses?<\/p>\n

Fiber, calcium, and protein? Whatever happened to sugar, sugar, and sugar? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s worked for you in the past. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re the man…ur…zebra…ur…tiger that brought us such wonderful, sweet cereals as Tony\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Cinnamon Crunchers, Banana Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Frosted Flakes, and the original Frosted Flakes.<\/p>\n

Okay, actually, Tony\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Cinnamon Crunchers sucked big time.<\/p>\n

However, this Tiger Power sucked even more. It was so bland, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like you purposely wanted it to taste like fiber, calcium, and protein. Although it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t take away the title of World\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Worst Tasting Cereal from the Carb Well cereal<\/a> I tried a few months ago.<\/p>\n

Despite the bland taste, I was hoping I could somehow make the cereal edible. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to give up on you and your Tiger Power cereal, as quickly as that 7:30 a.m. accounting class during my freshman year in college, because I owe you and Frosted Flakes a lot for providing me the energy in elementary school to survive until recess.<\/p>\n

The first thing I tried to do to make Tiger Power edible was add sugar…lots of sugar. Unfortunately, I realized that it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t working too well and I was probably killing my liver.<\/p>\n

I then tried chocolate milk, which helped a lot with the taste, but in the end I still think Tiger Power sucks.<\/p>\n

Oh, Tony the Tiger. You have claws, stripes, and, apparently, really big balls, because you had the courage to release a crappy cereal, which probably ruined your reputation as a Sugar Daddy.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m so disappointed in you.<\/p>\n

(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note: Our friends at The Message Whore also did a review of this cereal, go read their review here<\/a>.)<\/i><\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Kellogg\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Tiger Power
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $3.00 (on sale)
\nRating:<\/b> 1.5 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Fiber. Protein. Calcium.
\nCons:<\/b> Bland. Bland. Bland. I no longer believe in Tony the Tiger.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tony the Tiger, why have you turned into such a pussy…cat? Have you sold out? Have you been pressured by consumer groups who think your cereals are fattening children? Is someone trying to blackmail you with a sex tape of you with a hippopotamus? Or are they blackmailing you with a secret, like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re actually […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1472,1655,1473],"class_list":["post-176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cereal","tag-frosted-flakes","tag-kelloggs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4603,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/08\/14\/review-limited-edition-trix-swirls-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":176,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"August 14, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh man, Trix fanboys must be creaming in their pants after seeing the Limited Edition Trix Swirls Cereal. It has TWO fruity colors in every puff. If that doesn't make Trix fanboys scream like little girls at a Jonas Brothers concert, they're not a true Trix fanboy. As for myself,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51376,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/05\/25\/spotted-jurassic-world-trix-trax-with-marshmallows-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":176,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED: Jurassic World Trix Trax with Marshmallows Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"May 25, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"So does the dinosaur get to eat Trix, while the Trix rabbit doesn't? Or is the dinosaur also denied from eating Trix and the reason why the Trix rabbit is smiling is because he's happy he's no longer the only one who isn't allowed to eat the cereal? (Spotted by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/jwtrixtraxcer.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/jwtrixtraxcer.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/jwtrixtraxcer.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/jwtrixtraxcer.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":76968,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2026\/04\/22\/spotted-trix-tropical-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":176,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED: Trix Tropical Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"April 22, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Pua is probably going to eat this Trix before the Rabbit does. All the Rabbit can do is eat vicariously through Pua. Silly Rabbit, Tropical Trix are still for kids. (Spotted by Robbie at Target.) If you spotted something new, send your photos to theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com.","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/trixtrocer.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/trixtrocer.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/trixtrocer.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/trixtrocer.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/trixtrocer.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":52200,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/07\/21\/spotted-trix-silly-rabbit-turned-milk-pink-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":176,"position":3},"title":"SPOTTED: Trix Silly Rabbit Turned Milk Pink Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"July 21, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I'd like to know what would happen if someone poured a bowl of cereal that combined this cereal with the Apple Jack Nickelodeon Slime Cereal. Does it turn brown? (Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":51127,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/05\/06\/spotted-limited-edition-trix-fireworks-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":176,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED: Limited Edition Trix Fireworks Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"May 6, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Remember when naming your product \"Firework\" meant something? It would sure be neat if this cereal could snap, crackle, and pop, but it doesn't look like it does. 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