{"id":17758,"date":"2014-11-04T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-11-04T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=17758"},"modified":"2023-08-12T16:21:04","modified_gmt":"2023-08-13T02:21:04","slug":"review-keebler-red-velvet-fudge-stripes-cookies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/11\/04\/review-keebler-red-velvet-fudge-stripes-cookies\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripes Cookies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Keebler<\/a><\/p>\n

Like Salted Caramel, Maple Bacon, and Sriracha, Red Velvet is a food trend which will not go away until it\u2019s been flavorized into every edible object this side of gluten-free dog treats. While I\u2019m quite positive this has driven some of you mad, I\u2019m more than willing to accept and embrace this necessary step in flavor evolution.<\/p>\n

Sneer all you want about how diet yogurts<\/a> and <\/a>Pop-Tarts can never match the mellow cocoa flavoring and rich cream cheese frosting of an actual slice of homemade Red Velvet Cake, but unless you possess a time machine allowing you to conveniently travel back to the 1930s or 1940s<\/a>, I\u2019m going to call you out as just another fan of the latest bastardization of the classic southern cake.<\/p>\n

And you know what? I\u2019m totally cool with that, just like I\u2019m totally cool with the idea of the Keebler Elves adapting their classic Fudge Stripe cookies to Red Velvet. These are magical elves, after all, and there are far worse food trends they could be adapting for cookie construction.*<\/p>\n

\"Keebler<\/a><\/p>\n

At first glance, the fudge stripe template seems a curious choice to adapt Red Velvet to. Fudge is supposed to be dense, super chocolaty, and for lack of a better word, fudgy<\/i>. <\/p>\n

Meanwhile, even bastardized conceptions of Red Velvet carry a certain connotation of a light cake crumb and more restrained cocoa flavor. But when you think about it, good old Ernest J. Keebler\u2019s reasoning checks out. Not nearly as iconic at E.L. Fudge yet distinct enough from your garden-variety Chips Deluxe, the Fudge Stripe begs for a makeover, or at the very least a new twist on the contrast of artificial chocolate glaze and crisp shortbread.<\/p>\n

\"Keebler<\/a><\/p>\n

If nothing else, the little men slaving away in those treehouse factories certainly craft an aesthetically pleasing product. Lined in a perfect row of red and white, as if drizzled with a cream cheese and buttercream fondant by skillful elfish hands, the cookies look appetizing enough to devour in one fell swoop. It\u2019s a thought not completely unrealistic, if only for the obsolescent non-resealable packaging. Really, Ernest J.? You\u2019ve created a magical factory in a tree capable of mass producing cookies yet you can\u2019t prevent my cookies from going stale? Priorities man, priorities!<\/p>\n

\"Keebler<\/a><\/p>\n

The white coating is predictably waxy\u2014the kind of artificial, \u201clook that\u2019s going to be your arteries!\u201d stuff that we\u2019ve been told to avoid, but still secretly love. At first, it\u2019s slow to yield a distinct flavor, but after several licks and precise, tiny bites, the faux-glaze takes on a unique flavor. I\u2019m reminded quite a bit of the yogurt coating of the raisins in one of my favorite cereals (Basic 4\u2014completely underrated) but also pick up a hypersweet note of white chocolate and an element of cream cheese.<\/p>\n

Beneath the glaze is the shortbread cocoa cookie. Crunchy with a superfine crumb, there\u2019s both a distinct mellow cocoa element but also a deeper and richer chocolate flavor. You won’t mistake it for dark chocolate, but sure enough, the semisweet chocolate listed on the ingredient list makes itself known, giving each cookie an over-the-top chocolate flavor which pairs wonderfully with cream cheese glaze.<\/p>\n

I have to admit though, there\u2019s an odd acidity in these cookies which tempers the chocolate; a sensation which makes me almost pucker. Sharp to a point but still very sweet, there really is a distinct Red Velvet flavor that goes well beyond just mellow cocoa and red food coloring. Truth be told it\u2019s sort of unexpected (who ever heard of a crunchy Red Velvet cake, for one thing!), yet somehow satisfyingly addictive. One might, when considering the hands which built it, even call it magical.<\/p>\n

I wasn’t expecting to like the Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripes Cookies as much as I did. I know, I know. Who am I to doubt whatever source of supernatural craftsmanship guides the Keebler elves. Yet lulled to sleep by countless Red Velvet flavor imposters, my expectations were dimmed, so much so that when one of the most accurate representations of the flavor in mass produced form graced my lips, I was blown away. Red Velvet Oreos, you ask? I\u2019m not holding my breath just yet, because as far as I\u2019m concerned Ernest J. and the magical elves have crafted a near-perfect Red Velvet cookie.<\/p>\n

*Kale, for instance.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts \u2013 2 cookies \u2013 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripes Cookies
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $2.50
\nSize:<\/b> 11.5 oz.
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Mars Grocery Stores
\nRating:<\/b> 9 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE RED VELVET. Mellow cocoa crumb. Unexpected chocolate depth. Addictively complex cream cheese\/buttercream\/white chocolate glaze. Needed makeover for a classic cookie.
\nCons:<\/b> Possibility of Red Velvet flavored gluten-free dog treats. Seventeenth century cookie packaging. Will turn your arteries into waxy faux cream cheese filling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Like Salted Caramel, Maple Bacon, and Sriracha, Red Velvet is a food trend which will not go away until it\u2019s been flavorized into every edible object this side of gluten-free dog treats. While I\u2019m quite positive this has driven some of you mad, I\u2019m more than willing to accept and embrace this necessary step in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1501,1567,1507],"class_list":["post-17758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cookies","tag-fudge-stripes","tag-keebler"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17745,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/10\/27\/spotted-on-shelves-keebler-red-velvet-fudge-stripes-cookies\/","url_meta":{"origin":17758,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripes Cookies","author":"Marvo","date":"October 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Buy Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripe Cookies from Amazon While I can't say for sure that Red Velvet Oreo Cookies are real, I'm 100 percent sure Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripes Cookies are real. (Spotted by Logan at Schnucks.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Keebler Red Velvet Fudge Stripe Cookies","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5605\/15451845340_50d65498a2_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5605\/15451845340_50d65498a2_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5605\/15451845340_50d65498a2_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21175,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/01\/24\/coming-soon-keebler-limited-batch-lemon-cream-pie-fudge-stripes-cookies\/","url_meta":{"origin":17758,"position":1},"title":"COMING SOON: Keebler Limited Batch Lemon Cream Pie Fudge Stripes Cookies","author":"Marvo","date":"January 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"So far this year, we've seen on shelves Cinnamon Roll Fudge Stripes. But later this year, possibly in the spring, Keebler will roll out a lemon cream pie version of their popular shortbread cookie. While Keebler doesn't put out the annual 6 to 423 flavors Oreo does, the elves have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coming Soon"","block_context":{"text":"Coming Soon","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/coming-soon\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Keebler Limited Batch Lemon Cream Pie Fudge Stripes Cookies","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Keebler-Limited-Batch-Lemon-Cream-Pie-Fudge-Stripes-Cookies.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Keebler-Limited-Batch-Lemon-Cream-Pie-Fudge-Stripes-Cookies.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Keebler-Limited-Batch-Lemon-Cream-Pie-Fudge-Stripes-Cookies.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21348,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/03\/03\/spotted-on-shelves-keebler-limited-batch-lemon-cream-pie-fudge-stripes\/","url_meta":{"origin":17758,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Keebler Limited Batch Lemon Cream Pie Fudge Stripes","author":"Marvo","date":"March 3, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Keebler has been on a roll with their Fudge Stripes cookies. They've released flavors like cinnamon roll, peppermint, birthday cake, red velvet, pumpkin spice, and cookies & creme. Sure, I could replace the first sentence with \"Nabisco has been on a roll with their Oreo cookies,\" but Oreo doesn't have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/keblimbatlemcrpiefudgestripes-600x417.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/keblimbatlemcrpiefudgestripes-600x417.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/keblimbatlemcrpiefudgestripes-600x417.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":22748,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/05\/30\/review-keebler-limited-batch-strawberry-cheesecake-fudge-stripes-cookies\/","url_meta":{"origin":17758,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Keebler Limited Batch Strawberry Cheesecake Fudge Stripes Cookies","author":"Rachel","date":"May 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"This is the tragedy of Keebler\u2019s Fudge Stripes cookies - adulthood steals your ability to wear them as a ring. 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