{"id":17800,"date":"2014-11-12T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-11-12T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=17800"},"modified":"2023-09-04T21:25:30","modified_gmt":"2023-09-05T07:25:30","slug":"review-burger-king-poutine-a-la-burger-canada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/11\/12\/review-burger-king-poutine-a-la-burger-canada\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Burger King Poutine \u00e1 la Burger (Canada)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Burger<\/a><\/p>\n

I think a poutine might just be the most flexible junk food on the planet. You can top it with pretty much anything. <\/a>Buffalo chicken? Sure. Hamburger? Why not! If you can dream it up, you can put it on a poutine.<\/p>\n

Even still, Burger King\u2019s Poutine \u00e1 la Burger made me a bit wary. Not because it’s particularly weird, but because, honestly, Burger King isn\u2019t my favourite fast food joint. And by \u201cisn\u2019t my favourite,\u201d I mean it\u2019s my least favourite<\/i>. I actually used to like it a lot — but they\u2019ve gone downhill quite precipitously over the last 15 years or so. It\u2019s gotten to the point where, these days, a visit fills me with a kind of slow-burn horror that makes me very tempted to just turn around and walk out the door.<\/p>\n

Even still, thanks to my childhood affection for the place, I occasionally find myself back there, hoping for the best.<\/p>\n

The Poutine \u00e1 la Burger is simple enough: it’s a regular poutine, topped with a chopped burger patty, mustard, ketchup, and pickles.<\/p>\n

Nothing here was particularly good. I don’t think I need to tell you that Burger King’s fries aren’t that great, but I’ll do it anyway: Burger King’s fries aren’t that great. They’re standard mediocre battered fries, which pretty much taste the same wherever they’re served. I suspect that most fast food joints that serve them get them from the same supplier (it tastes that way, at least).<\/p>\n

The curds weren’t much better. The main test of a good cheese curd is whether or not it has “squeak” \u2013 a subtle squeaking noise that a fresh curd makes when you bite into it. I tried one of the unmelted ones on top, and not only did it not squeak, it had a weirdly mushy, almost mealy texture that was unpleasant and quite unlike any curd I\u2019ve had before.<\/p>\n

The gravy was probably a bit more thick and gloppy than it should have been, and was otherwise run-of-the-mill bland canned gravy.<\/p>\n

As for the chopped burger patty, it was standard Burger King, with that very distinctive flame-broiled flavour. It also had an unpleasantly gamy taste that generally comes from reheating meat one time too many.<\/p>\n

The mustard, ketchup, and pickles were mustard, ketchup, and pickles. Even Burger King can’t mess that up.<\/p>\n

I’ll bet you think you know where this review is going. Well, here comes the M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist.<\/p>\n

\"Burger<\/a><\/p>\n

All the elements here ranged from passably mediocre to outright gross, so this should have been horrible, right? And in the first few mouthfuls, where I was paying attention to each individual element, it was<\/i> horrible. But then something odd happened. I started enjoying it. It had all coalesced into something surprisingly tasty.<\/p>\n

The curds, once melted by the gravy and the fries, lost their mealy texture. The fries, with their crispy battered coating, stood up well to the abundant gravy. The vinegary bite of the pickles and mustard added a much-needed punch of flavour to the bland gravy. And the gamy taste of the beef was drowned out by the sweetness of the ketchup and the poutine’s other flavours, leaving only a vague beefiness that gave the dish a bit more substance and oomph.<\/p>\n

I’m a little bit baffled, honestly. All logic and common sense says that this poutine should have been offensively gross. Each individual component was sub-par, putting it kindly. And yet… and yet, it wasn’t gross. I enjoyed it. It’s as if all the bad canceled each other out and created something that was inexplicably good.<\/p>\n

I can barely wrap my head around it. The poutine is objectively awful; I know this. And yet it was weirdly compelling, like a roadside accident that you just can’t stop staring at. About halfway through I told myself to stop eating it, that it was no good, that it was too much, that I’d feel sick. But I couldn’t. I didn’t stop until I had scraped the bottom of the bowl. <\/p>\n

I wish I hadn’t eaten this, to be frank. Nothing about it made me feel good, physically or mentally.<\/p>\n

Physically, well, that should be fairly obvious. If you pick this thing up, it has heft<\/i>. I\u2019d be shocked if it weighed less than a pound. Maybe even two. I made the mistake of eating it during my lunch break at work, and I returned to the office clutching my perilously full belly and wanting nothing more than to take a very long nap.<\/p>\n

Mentally, it made me question everything about who I am, right down to my very core. Do I have bad taste? I didn’t think so before, but now I’m not so sure. Enjoying something that’s so clearly shoddy has upended everything I thought I knew about myself. <\/p>\n

I really don’t know what else to say. I went to Burger King that day to review the Poutine \u00e1 la Burger, only for it to review me<\/i>. It peered deep into my soul and found me wanting. It knew who I was, who I am, who I will always be.<\/p>\n

It knew everything.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 880 calories, 46 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 1490 milligrams of sodium, 95 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, and 24 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Burger King Poutine \u00e1 la Burger (Canada)
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $4.99 CAN
\nSize:<\/b> N\/A
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Burger King
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> In spite of itself, it is surprisingly tasty. Look, I liked it, okay? Don’t make me say more.
\nCons:<\/b> Run-of-the-mill battered fries, mediocre gravy, gross curds, off-tasting beef. Realizing that you like this despite all that and therefore have terrible taste in food. Having your soul laid bare. Self doubt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think a poutine might just be the most flexible junk food on the planet. You can top it with pretty much anything. Buffalo chicken? Sure. Hamburger? Why not! If you can dream it up, you can put it on a poutine. Even still, Burger King\u2019s Poutine \u00e1 la Burger made me a bit wary. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1534,1648,1477],"class_list":["post-17800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-burger-king","tag-canada","tag-fast-food"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16065,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/01\/07\/review-mcdonalds-poutine-canada\/","url_meta":{"origin":17800,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: McDonald’s Poutine (Canada)","author":"Michael","date":"January 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Is there anything more Canadian than eating a poutine? 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The Poutine Donut is a Honey Dip Donut topped with potato wedges, gravy, and cheese curds. If that's not your cup of pou-tea, the chain is also offering Maple Timbits,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Tim Horton s Poutine Donut Maple Bacon Iced Capp and Maple Timbits","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Tim-Hortons-Poutine-Donut-Maple-Bacon-Iced-Capp-and-Maple-Timbits.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Tim-Hortons-Poutine-Donut-Maple-Bacon-Iced-Capp-and-Maple-Timbits.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/Tim-Hortons-Poutine-Donut-Maple-Bacon-Iced-Capp-and-Maple-Timbits.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18627,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/06\/12\/canadian-spotted-on-shelves-ruffles-poutine-potato-chips\/","url_meta":{"origin":17800,"position":4},"title":"CANADIAN SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Ruffles Poutine Potato Chips","author":"Marvo","date":"June 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm surprised this hasn't been a regular Ruffles flavor in Canada. 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