{"id":17921,"date":"2015-01-02T11:17:43","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T21:17:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=17921"},"modified":"2023-08-28T15:56:20","modified_gmt":"2023-08-29T01:56:20","slug":"review-arbys-jalapeno-hushpuppies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/01\/02\/review-arbys-jalapeno-hushpuppies\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Arby’s Jalape\u00f1o Hushpuppies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Arby's<\/a><\/p>\n

Deep inside an underground bunker somewhere near Pocatello, Idaho, the nation\u2019s preeminent potato growers and their army of lobbyists recently gathered. The following is an unconfirmed transcript of the meeting that followed. Names have been modified to protect the innocent.<\/i><\/p>\n

Derek J. Russet, Chairman of the Confederacy of Potato Advocates:<\/b> Ladies and gentlemen. We gather today amidst news that threatens the very existence of our industry. Reports indicate one of our longtime allies in the fast food world has threatened to disown the humble spud as a side item.<\/p>\n

Silence<\/i><\/p>\n

Russet:<\/b> Yes, it\u2019s true, and I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s not the usual challenge from the Onion Ring Hegemony again. Thankfully Burger King continues to showcase the alliance of alliums in an objectionable light, but this new threat is much greater.<\/p>\n

Timothy L. Fingerling, CFO:<\/b> Sir, surely our market share can withstand a minor blip. Our research has long indicated customers sometimes go for so-called \u2018healthier options,\u2019 but once the New Year\u2019s Resolution high subsides, they\u2019ll return to their french fries and chips with renewed vigor.<\/p>\n

Russet:<\/b> I do not know, Fingerling. Reports are still vague, but apparently Arby\u2019s has introduced Jalape\u00f1o Hushpuppies as part of their limited time only, pre-Lent menu. Hushpuppies…with fish! The nerve of these people. What would our English brethren and their fish and chips say? In any event, knowing how trendy Southern food is and how customers are always begging for something to set their mouth on fire, this is a threat we cannot overlook. Dare I say it, if these are successful, we could see multiple fast food companies ditching fries for balls of fried cornmeal in no time.<\/p>\n

Gasps!<\/i><\/p>\n

Amanda W. Yukon, Director of Nefarious Tuber Operations:<\/b> Not so fast, sir. I have firsthand reports on the quality of these hushpuppies, straight from one of my freelance field operatives. In my hands is an intelligence estimate courtesy of Lawrence Sweet, who has just eaten at Arby\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Fingerling:<\/b> By all means, Ms. Yukon. Major Sweet is one of most trusted and objective operatives. If it weren\u2019t for his work on those <\/a>Arby\u2019s Cheddar Pretzel Nuggets during the spring, we would have never been able to sabotage them with laxative inducing cheese sauce. Please, read the report.<\/p>\n

Yukon:<\/b> He begins as follows: \u201cI entered Arby\u2019s with an open mind. My love of potatoes aside, I\u2019ve traveled to the Gulf Coast in the past and have frequently eaten, and enjoyed, hushpuppies. There\u2019s just something so perfect about them, so distinctly Southern in their crispy outside texture, moist interior, and tangy sweetness. Given how well Arby\u2019s has done some other regional specialties like brisket, I expected these to be a worthy rendition.\u201d<\/p>\n

Silence permeates the room, broken only by a few nervous clicks of someone\u2019s pen.<\/i><\/p>\n

\"Arby's<\/a><\/p>\n

Yukon:<\/b> He continues: \u201cI was pleased to find the hushpuppies crisp and non-too greasy, but an almost blackened color was cause for concern. A cornbread batter can be unforgiving for a fry cook, and the blistered craters, while perhaps making a fine 1:100,000,000 scale model for an asteroid, revealed they might’ve spent too much time in the fryer. Not surprisingly a burnt flavor was impossible to overcome on first bite, although a mild and moist cornbread filling did dissipate the burnt exterior somewhat. <\/p>\n

\"Arby's<\/a><\/p>\n

Still, there was something off about the flavor. The jalape\u00f1os were immediately noticeable, but instead of a spicy bite, the small chunks carried a bitter and vegetal flavor. They tasted old and canned, while the chunks of corn also had a dulled, diluted flavor which wouldn\u2019t win a taste test with Del Monte.\u201d<\/p>\n

Russet:<\/b> Interesting. So they\u2019ve not only botched the execution, but used sub-par ingredients. But everyone knows even a limp French fry can be resuscitated with Heinz or Fry Sauce. I\u2019m still unconvinced these aren\u2019t a threat.<\/p>\n

Yukon:\/b> I think we\u2019re safe on that front too, sir. Sweet reports there\u2019s no natural pairing for hushpuppies. They should have enough balance in the buttermilk tang, the corn sweetness, and the heat of the seasoning to be eaten on their own. Even ketchup can\u2019t save them, and Sweet thinks ketchup is good on everything<\/i>. Besides, he claims they’re too small to leave customers happy. And obviously, they lack the appeal of a curly fry.<\/p>\n

<\/b>Fingerling:<\/b> Dare I say we\u2019ve dodged a bullet! Once again, fast food has outthought itself.<\/p>\n

Russet:<\/b> Indeed. Send our thanks to Sweet, Yukon. Arby\u2019s Jalape\u00f1o Hushpuppies won\u2019t satisfy those longing for a homemade taste of the Gulf Coast, and pose little long-term threat to the supremacy of the spud.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 5 hushpuppies \u2013 290 calories, 110 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 790 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Arby’s Jalapeno Hushpuppies
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $1.79
\nSize:<\/b> 5 pieces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Arby’s
\nRating:<\/b> 4 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Mainstream fast food embracing a taste of the south. Crunchy exterior and moist cornbread-like interior. Real whole kernel corn and jalape\u00f1os in batter. Moderate and building back-heat. The survival of the potato industry.
\nCons:<\/b> Tiny and hard as a rock. Burnt flavor overpowers the cornmeal. Bitter, vegetal-like quality to the jalape\u00f1os. Corn kernels taste dull and canned. Lacks obvious condiment pairing. Freelance work for world potato cabals.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Deep inside an underground bunker somewhere near Pocatello, Idaho, the nation\u2019s preeminent potato growers and their army of lobbyists recently gathered. The following is an unconfirmed transcript of the meeting that followed. Names have been modified to protect the innocent. Derek J. Russet, Chairman of the Confederacy of Potato Advocates: Ladies and gentlemen. We gather […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1515,1477],"class_list":["post-17921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-arbys","tag-fast-food"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":44250,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2020\/06\/16\/fast-food-news-arbys-sweet-potato-waffle-fries\/","url_meta":{"origin":17921,"position":0},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Arby’s Sweet Potato Waffle Fries","author":"Marvo","date":"June 16, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Good news! 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