![\"Hershey's](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7175\/6435523561_52fb490a53.jpg?resize=410%2C500\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nThe other week, an Impulsive Buy reader asked if I could review the new Reese’s Cookies. I instantly agreed because she claimed they were so good that they would give me an orgasm (1), and I am not one to miss out on an orgasm (2).<\/p>\n
Although, after thinking about it, I began to hope that trying to orgasm (3) from the Reese’s Cookies wouldn’t turn out like the last product that someone claimed would give me an orgasm (4). <\/p>\n
Remember those Herbal Essences shampoos? You know, the one with the commercials that have a beautiful woman having an orgasm (5) while washing her hair? Well I remember seeing that commercial and thinking if the Herbal Essences could make a woman have an orgasm (6) that easily, it must be damn quick on a guy. <\/p>\n
However, after two weeks of washing my hair with it, I didn’t orgasm (7) once. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me biologically. Then I thought maybe I had to wash my hair longer. Or maybe I needed some kind of instrument to help. Despite all of my washing efforts, I didn’t have an orgasm (8).<\/p>\n
However, a few months later I did orgasm (9) using the Herbal Essences shampoo, while looking through a Victoria’s Secret catalog. But it didn’t happen while washing my hair. It happened while “washing” my…<\/p>\n
Oh wait, I think this is a bit too much information. I’m sorry, just ignore the last paragraph.<\/p>\n
Anyway, finding the Reese’s Cookies turned out to be harder than trying to orgasm (10) while washing your hair with Herbal Essences shampoo. I checked all the usual places I shop at, but I couldn’t find them. I began thinking that the Reese’s Cookies were so good that people everywhere were buying them as quickly as the stores could put them on the shelves.<\/p>\n
Then finally, this past weekend, while shopping for Herbal Essences shampoo, I found a box that contained Reese’s Cookies 4-packs. Fortunately for me, there were two packs left in the box. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming and then grabbed the two packs like I was Cookie Monster.<\/p>\n
Me want COOKIE!!!<\/p>\n
When I got home I placed one of the packs into the freezer and eagerly ripped open the other pack. Each cookie consists of a crunchy chocolate cookie and a layer of peanut butter on top of it, with everything dipped in milk chocolate. It looked DAMN good and smelled DAMN good.<\/p>\n
I quickly popped an entire cookie into my mouth. “Oh-oh-oh my goodness,” I thought to myself. “These are DAMN good, but where’s the orgasm (11)?”<\/p>\n
“Maybe it was a dud cookie,” I said and then ate the rest of the pack, but again nothing happened.<\/p>\n
Maybe I had to chew more slowly. Or let it melt in my mouth. Or look through a Victoria’s Secret catalog while eating them. However, I tried all of those things with the second pack of Reese’s Cookies I pulled out of the freezer, but still didn’t have an orgasm (12).<\/p>\n
Although I didn’t have an orgasm (13), I wasn’t disappointed. The Reese’s Cookies were VERY satisfying and I wished I had more. They are so good, if the Girl Scouts made cookies exactly like these, Thin Mints would definitely be their bitch.<\/p>\n
Yes, they are that good.<\/p>\n
Orgasm (14).<\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Hershey’s Reese’s Cookies
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> 99 cents (4-pack)
\nRating:<\/b> 10 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Really, really, really good. DAMN good! Victoria’s Secret catalogs. Eating them might cause an orgasm (15) for some.
\nCons:<\/b> I didn’t get an orgasm (16) from them. Maybe difficult to find, because they are so good.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The other week, an Impulsive Buy reader asked if I could review the new Reese’s Cookies. I instantly agreed because she claimed they were so good that they would give me an orgasm (1), and I am not one to miss out on an orgasm (2). 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Or I could top my tongue with them. (Spotted by John W at Meijer.) 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(This will happen more and more as winter draws near, during increasingly inconvenient moments.) There is something magical about the holiday cookie genre and the imagery it evokes. 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