{"id":185,"date":"2005-04-05T00:00:44","date_gmt":"2005-04-05T10:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=185"},"modified":"2018-12-04T19:40:50","modified_gmt":"2018-12-05T05:40:50","slug":"aquafina-berry-sparkling-water","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/04\/05\/aquafina-berry-sparkling-water\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Aquafina<\/p>\n

Note to self: If the bottle of the beverage you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re thinking of purchasing has the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153sparkling\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on it, avoid it at all costs, even if it is really cheap.<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m no longer a sparkling water virgin, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not really something I want to brag about. Just like all my other devirginizing experiences, losing my sparking water virginity was awkward, frustrating, and left a bad taste in my mouth.<\/p>\n

At least it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t as bad as the other devirginizing experience I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had, like losing my drunk barfing virginity and losing my bra wearing virginity, which included photocopied photos posted on the doors of all the women rooms in my dormitory.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not sure how best I can describe the taste of sparkling water to those who still are sparkling water virgins, but I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s safe to say they taste like the tears from a devil.<\/p>\n

If that explanation totally blew your mind or it sounded like I was drunk when I wrote it, sparkling water has a really bitter taste and a horrid aftertaste. Even with the light, and I mean light, taste of berry in the Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water, it still tasted like someone figured out a way to bottle the color gray.<\/p>\n

Every swig I took of the Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water made me shudder. However, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been using that shuddering to my advantage. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been nursing the same 20-ounce bottle for the past seven days and during those days I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve taken a swig of the Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water whenever I needed to be perked up, since drinking it is such a shock to my system.<\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sort of like being shocked by static electricity, except without the static or the electricity.<\/p>\n

Beside the horrible taste, another thing that bothered me about the Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water was the fact that it was cheaper than the same-sized bottle of regular Aquafina water. This made me think that the Aquafina Sparkling Water was actually made from the water that was rejected for regular Aquafina water.<\/p>\n

The people at Aquafina were probably thinking they could use it to water plants, but then realized there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no money to be made watering plants, so they added some carbonation and as little flavor as possible and sold it as Aquafina Sparking Water. <\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sort of like how the workers at my middle school cafeteria turned Monday\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s meatloaf into Friday\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tacos.<\/p>\n

Waste not, want not.<\/p>\n

Yahtzee!<\/p>\n

Okay with the review out of the way, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time to announce this month\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s prize drawing. I know it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little early, but I really have to get rid of this month\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s prizes, which are packs of Hershey\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Reese\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Cookies<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I originally was going to give away five packs of them, but I ate one, so now we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re down to four and if I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t start accepting entries for the prize drawing today, that number probably would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve dropped to three.<\/p>\n

So four lucky readers will each receive one 4-pack of those damn good Hershey\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Reese\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Cookies.<\/p>\n

To enter the drawing, just leave a comment for THIS review with the words \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Thin Mints\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Beeyatch\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in it and whatever else you would like to say. Or, if you think we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re lame comment whores, you can also enter by sending us an email<\/a> with the phrase \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Cookie Monster\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in the subject field.<\/p>\n

If you leave a comment, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t forget to fill out the email field, because we will be emailing the winner for their mailing address. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t worry about the shipping, we will take care of it.<\/p>\n

We will start accepting entries for the drawing on April 5, 2005. We will stop accepting entries on April 8, 2005. Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is ONLY open to those in the United States and Canada. (Sorry, rest of the world)<\/b><\/p>\n

Each entry will be stuffed into the empty Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water from this review. After all the entries are stuffed, I will curse the bottle and kick it around for messing with my tastebuds. <\/p>\n

The first four entries I pull out of the bottle will be the four winners.<\/p>\n

Fine Print: We promise your email address will not be used to send you spam about how you can download Clay Aiken ringtones. We also promise your mailing address will not be used to send you offers for Playboy Magazine. Bribes will not be accepted. We will not be responsible for melted chocolate, broken cookies, or lost mail.<\/small><\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Aquafina Berry Sparkling Water
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> 89 cents
\nRating:<\/b> 1 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> The horrible bitter taste can be used to send a shock to your system. Lost my sparkling water virginity, but I want it back.
\nCons:<\/b> It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s extremely bitter, like the tears from a devil. Very light berry flavor. Cheaper than regular Aquafina water.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Note to self: If the bottle of the beverage you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re thinking of purchasing has the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153sparkling\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on it, avoid it at all costs, even if it is really cheap. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m no longer a sparkling water virgin, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not really something I want to brag about. Just like all my other devirginizing experiences, losing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1620,1545,25],"class_list":["post-185","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-aquafina","tag-beverage","tag-water"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":197,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/04\/22\/aquafina-wild-berry-flavorsplash\/","url_meta":{"origin":185,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Aquafina Wild Berry FlavorSplash","author":"Marvo","date":"April 22, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Everyone has these things they have to do everyday. 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