{"id":186,"date":"2005-04-06T01:37:31","date_gmt":"2005-04-06T11:37:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=186"},"modified":"2023-08-14T16:46:18","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T02:46:18","slug":"jockey-next-to-nothing-boxer-brief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/04\/06\/jockey-next-to-nothing-boxer-brief\/","title":{"rendered":"Jockey Next To Nothing Boxer Brief"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Jockey<\/p>\n

In my head, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a mental list called, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Things I Do Not Want To Be Caught Doing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n

Some of the things on that list include: <\/p>\n

(1) Buying or listening to a Kidz Bop CD<\/a>.
\n(2) Saying I love Yanni\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s<\/a> music to impress a girl.
\n(3) Pretending I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m an underwear model.<\/p>\n

The other day, I almost got caught pretending to be an underwear model, because of these Jockey Next To Nothing Boxer Briefs. <\/p>\n

Looking at myself in the mirror in my underwear for long periods of time is not something I do, unless I happen to be in my underwear when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m doing my weekly affirmation, which I say to myself, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a sexy, sexy beast. Yeah, I am. Oh yeah, you like this? I know you do, baby! Uh-huh.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stop pretending to model underwear because the Jockey Next To Nothing Boxer Brief made me feel sexy, without the weekly affirmation. Of course, they made me feel<\/b> sexy, but they didn’t make me look<\/b> sexy. They didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t magically turn me into Marky Mark<\/a>, because my abs more closely resemble a keg than a six-pack.<\/p>\n

Although I have to admit, my entire upper body may have not looked too good in them, but my ass, albeit a little flat, looked good. It looked so good, that I had to wonder what it looked like if I shook it. <\/p>\n

Of course, this meant I needed the appropriate booty-shaking music. The only song on my iPod that could truly fit the bill was Wreckx-N-Effect\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Rump Shaker.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

While shaking my ass, I liked the way the Jockey Next To Nothing Boxer Brief hugged the curves of my lower body, which was a much different feeling than the boxers I usually wear. It also provided good support of my twig and berries, kind of like tighty-whities, but not too tight and not as white, which means no skidmarks.<\/p>\n

One problem I had with the underwear was its name, Next To Nothing, because I can think of a few other things I could wear that are closer to next to nothing, like a thong or a fig leaf. Of course, wearing a thong or a fig leaf are other things I do not want to be caught doing.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, when I went back to the Jockey store to pick up more, I found out that Jockey discontinued the Next To Nothing line, which explained the reason why the price was discounted by over 50 percent. <\/p>\n

After I found that out, I wondered, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How will I feel sexy now? Because the effects of those weekly affirmations only lasts for a few minutes.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Thanks, Jockey.<\/p>\n

(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note #1: Sure, I could show you what the Jockey Next To Nothing Boxer Brief looks like on me with pictures, but that would be a little too risque and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have clean socks to stuff down my crotch.)<\/p>\n

(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note #2: Instead I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to show you something a little less spicy. An old video<\/a> of me ripping my shirt off.)<\/p>\n

(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note #3: Warning video may contain images not suitable for children, or anyone else.)<\/small><\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Jockey Next To Nothing Boxer Brief
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $7.99 (on sale)
\nRating:<\/b> 4 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Made my ass look good. Good support of my undercarriage. Made me feel sexy, without affirmations.
\nCons:<\/b> Discontinued. Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t come in a size smaller than medium. Pretending to be an underwear model when you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have the body of an underwear model.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my head, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a mental list called, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Things I Do Not Want To Be Caught Doing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Some of the things on that list include: (1) Buying or listening to a Kidz Bop CD. (2) Saying I love Yanni\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s music to impress a girl. (3) Pretending I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m an underwear model. The other day, I almost […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":345,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/03\/29\/jockey-next-to-nothing-thong\/","url_meta":{"origin":186,"position":0},"title":"Jockey Next to Nothing Thong\/Wearing a Thong","author":"Marvo","date":"March 29, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Thongs...They're usually worn by women, European male sunbathers, and male strippers. 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I guess the Nice Look Drink is a Chinese\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=186"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/186\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}