{"id":18742,"date":"2015-07-06T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-07-06T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=18742"},"modified":"2023-02-16T19:11:46","modified_gmt":"2023-02-17T05:11:46","slug":"review-taco-bell-capn-crunch-delights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/07\/06\/review-taco-bell-capn-crunch-delights\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Taco Bell Cap\u2019n Crunch Delights"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Taco<\/a><\/p>\n

When I sat down to write my review of the new Taco Bell Cap\u2019n Crunch Delights, I told myself I was going to avoid doing two things.<\/p>\n

\u201cSelf,\u201d I began with a stern but encouraging tone. \u201cLongtime TIB readers know you have a bad habit of falling back on overstated nautical puns and maritime references when describing Cap\u2019n Crunch and its variants. Stop being such a lazy writer and get off your crutch.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Lest you forget, take a look at the gem in the tenth paragraph of this review<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, and while you\u2019re at it,\u201d the voice scolded. \u201cDo not, under any circumstance, mention your theories about judging the merits of a fried product on the aftertaste of the burp you burp up two hours after eating.\u201d<\/p>\n

But after thinking about the Cap\u2019n Crunch Delights and inadvertently burping up the unmistakably heavy taste of fried dough, I\u2019ve concluded each of these goals is impossible. So I\u2019m sorry; the Cap\u2019n made me do it.<\/p>\n

\"Taco<\/a><\/p>\n

Bearing an uncanny resemblance to tiny pieces of coral growing on, say, a sunken treasure ship, the delights are far from appetizing to look at. Bristling with tiny pieces of crushed up Crunch Berries cereal, they smelled unmistakably like a donut hole and little like Cap\u2019n Crunch, while one piece had a not-so-subtle hole leaking a loose goo from its oily hull (caused from a clumsy broadside, no doubt.) <\/p>\n

Taco Bell describes these as \u201clight\u201d and \u201cfruity\u201d but I thought they tasted heavy, oily, and remarkably synthetic. The outside coating only tasted a little like Crunch Berries; there was a vague fruity flavor but nothing remarkable or memorable, and certainly not that coconut oil aftertaste and brown sugar sweetness of Cap\u2019n Crunch. <\/p>\n

By far the dominant flavor was fried dough, and not in a light and airy way like a traditional donut hole. Nope, these \u201cdelights\u201d were saturated in more surface oil than that which was left by the Exxon Valdez. The aftertaste\u2014including that burped up aftertaste one experiences after happy hour at the Taco Bell soda machine\u2014is strongly of fried dough; unmistakably heavy and in no way fruity at all. <\/p>\n

\"Taco<\/a><\/p>\n

I was really looking forward to the gooey and \u201ccreamy\u201d milk center, mostly because all the promo shots featured this really cool image of the filling suspended in midair, making it look like some grand accomplishment of food science and engineering. In actuality the filling is loose and runny, more like a melted coating of confectioner’s sugar and milk. <\/p>\n

Frankly the warmth of the filling is off-putting. I mean who eats cereal in warm milk? Hello McFly! And the hyper-sweet flavor tastes way too much of stabilizers and not enough like something which may have, at one point or another, come from a cow. I felt like the sweetness needed some creamy richness for balance, but all the delights offer is a heavy flavor and oily texture. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m all for cobranding a mashups, and I get the fact that crappy cereal sales might spur the Cap\u2019n to sail his ship with a millennial-savvy fleet like Taco Bell, but the Cap\u2019n Crunch Delights are neither delightful nor crunchy, nor are they milky or fruity. Mostly they\u2019re just plain bad, even by the standards of cheap fast food. <\/p>\n

With any luck the Cap\u2019n will be able to right his course and try the whole donut cobranding thing again, although next time I\u2019m going to pray he doesn\u2019t leave the helm to a Tex-Mex fast food chain.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 2 delights \u2013 170 calories, 0 calories from fat, 11 grams of fat, 2.5 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Taco Bell Cap\u2019n Crunch Delights
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $1.09
\nSize:<\/b> 2-pack
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Taco Bell
\nRating:<\/b> 2 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Larger than an average donut hole. Inexpensive. Huzzah for cobranding!
\nCons:<\/b> Oversaturated in frying oil. Not crunchy. Poor Crunch Berry coverage. Doesn\u2019t really taste like Crunch Berries, unless you eat your Crunch Berries in frying oil. Warm milk-like substances. My complete and utter failure as a writer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I sat down to write my review of the new Taco Bell Cap\u2019n Crunch Delights, I told myself I was going to avoid doing two things. \u201cSelf,\u201d I began with a stern but encouraging tone. \u201cLongtime TIB readers know you have a bad habit of falling back on overstated nautical puns and maritime references […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1477,1519],"class_list":["post-18742","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-fast-food","tag-taco-bell"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18606,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/06\/09\/fast-food-news-taco-bell-capn-crunch-delights\/","url_meta":{"origin":18742,"position":0},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Taco Bell Cap’n Crunch Delights","author":"Marvo","date":"June 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"On July 2, the sequel to Taco Bell's Cinnabon Bites will start appearing on the chain's menu boards. Cap'n Crunch Delights are Crunch Berry-looking balls of fried dough with a milk-flavored cream filling and sprinkled with crushed Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries cereal. They were tested in Bakersfield, California earlier this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Taco Bell Cap n Crunch Delights","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Taco-Bell-Capn-Crunch-Delights.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Taco-Bell-Capn-Crunch-Delights.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Taco-Bell-Capn-Crunch-Delights.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":21192,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/01\/27\/review-taco-bell-naked-chicken-chalupa\/","url_meta":{"origin":18742,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Taco Bell Naked Chicken Chalupa","author":"James","date":"January 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, it was only a matter of time, I suppose: Taco Bell has finally taken it\u2019s Naked Chicken Chalupa national. For those of you not in the know, the product\u2019s first trial run was in Bakersfield, California, in 2015, with a second go-at-it in Kansas City, Missouri, last year. And\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Taco Bell Naked Chicken Chalupa","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/441\/31729488163_8815199a74_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/441\/31729488163_8815199a74_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/441\/31729488163_8815199a74_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18169,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/03\/09\/podcast-the-nosh-show-50-evilly-and-cheesity\/","url_meta":{"origin":18742,"position":2},"title":"PODCAST: The Nosh Show #50 Evilly and Cheesity","author":"Marvo","date":"March 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In this episode, Eric and Dubba praise Cheetos Sweetos and Ryan and I praise Taco Bell's Sriracha Quesarito. We also discuss Taco Bell's Cap'n Crunch Delights, Peeps-flavored milk, Cotton Candy Oreo cookies, the world's most expensive scoop of ice cream, and much more. Listen to the episode RIGHT NOW by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Podcast"","block_context":{"text":"Podcast","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/podcast\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15755,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/11\/18\/quick-review-taco-bell-cinnabon-delights\/","url_meta":{"origin":18742,"position":3},"title":"QUICK REVIEW: Taco Bell Cinnabon Delights","author":"Marvo","date":"November 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Purchased Price: $1.69* Size: 4 pieces Purchased at: Taco Bell Rating: 7 out of 10 Pros: Definitely delightful. Cinnamon has that familiar and addictive Cinnabon flavor. Sugar and cinnamon give each pastry a nice sugary crunch on top of the slightly crispy pastry exterior. More satisfying than a Taco Bell\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Taco Bell Cinnabon Delights","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2866\/10916796935_f47b9b0c5c.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":26374,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/12\/27\/fast-food-news-arbys-oreo-bites\/","url_meta":{"origin":18742,"position":4},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Arby’s Oreo Bites","author":"Marvo","date":"December 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review. Arby's is known for their meats, but once in awhile they offer some sweet treats, like its new Oreo Bites. The concept seems to be similar to Taco Bell's Cinnabon Delights and Cap'n Crunch Delights -- a doughnut with a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Arbys-Oreo-Bites.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Arbys-Oreo-Bites.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Arbys-Oreo-Bites.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11160,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/01\/25\/review-capn-crunchs-chocolatey-crunch\/","url_meta":{"origin":18742,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch","author":"Marvo","date":"January 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"After tasting Cap'n Crunch's Chocolatey Crunch cereal, I decided I want to become the captain of a pirate ship so that I can hunt down Cap'n Crunch's ship and send him and his crew to Davy Jones' Locker using a barrage of cannonballs painted to look like Crunch Berries. 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