{"id":18809,"date":"2015-07-22T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-07-22T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=18809"},"modified":"2021-01-03T21:27:46","modified_gmt":"2021-01-04T07:27:46","slug":"review-carnival-fruit-roll-ups","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/07\/22\/review-carnival-fruit-roll-ups\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Carnival Fruit Roll-Ups"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Carnival<\/a><\/p>\n

Finally, General Mills has cornered the market on adults who have a suppressed desire to run off and join the carnival. <\/p>\n

Having often risked my life on drop towers, fried Oreo cookies, and questionably constructed bungee cords, to say I am a fan of the carnival would be an understatement, and I am flat out excited to see Fruit Roll-Ups paying a tribute to the land of rickety rides with not one, but TWO special rolls. Let\u2019s see what this is all about.<\/p>\n

\"Carnival<\/a><\/p>\n

Attempting to unravel the rolls proves that there has been no evolution in General Mills\u2019 plastic wrap since 1993. Indeed, it took me a good eight minutes to attain my first roll, a process which involved unrolling, re-rolling, unrolling again, tearing a hole in the roll, trying to patch it up, tearing 3 more holes, bonking my knee on a coffee table, and plenty of bad-mouth sailor talk. <\/p>\n

While I have higher hopes for your agility, you, too, may find yourself frustrated in unwrapping your Roll-Up. Instead of resorting to my low, sailor-mouth tactics, perhaps you might look at peeling back the cellophane as not a struggle, but a lesson in how to better manage oneself in a harsh, unforgiving world.<\/p>\n

Once you finally get these suckers unwrapped, the rolls\u2019 images reveal a wealth of inspiration for aspiring carousel engineers and balloon salesmen. Each roll is split into two flavors: Cotton Candy\/Caramel Apple and Berry Lemonade\/Cherry Slushie. Let\u2019s take it one flavor at a time, shall we?<\/p>\n

\"Carnival<\/a><\/p>\n

Berry Lemonade<\/b> – The lemonade is strong with this one. Sweet and tangy with hints of juice, this one avoids the zest and goes straight for lemonade\u2019s sugary qualities. There\u2019s a slightly floral aftertaste that reminds me of blue raspberry Air Heads. I am not certain that blue raspberry qualifies as a berry, but its presence doesn\u2019t offend the lemonade. I dig it. <\/p>\n

Cherry Slushie<\/b> – A bit of a snoozer, although it\u2019s still good in its own artificial cherry way. It\u2019s a deep, sour cherry flavor, much along the lines of a cherry Starburst. It\u2019s a little one-note, which makes me wonder if it may have benefitted from a bit of vanilla or some lime. Still, quite good.<\/p>\n

Taken as a whole, the two make a solid cherry-lemonade mock-up. A less formidable lemon would wilt in the presence of such strong cherry, but there\u2019s a tang that brings the deep cherry notes back into place and makes the experience surprisingly balanced. Well done, General Mills. You found equilibrium and put it in a pectin fruit roll. <\/p>\n

\"Carnival<\/a><\/p>\n

Caramel Apple<\/b> – Snap dog, this is one tangy apple. It reminds me of that crisp, tart Jolly Rancher Apple flavor, which I greatly appreciate, but where is the caramel? Nowhere to be found. <\/p>\n

I initially hoped the Caramel Apple might be a roll on its own, allowing the tang of apple to come into play with a separate Werther\u2019s caramel-like flavor, much akin to the flavors found in Tootsie\u2019s Caramel Apple Pops. But no. Instead of burnt-sugar caramel, the apple was paired with another, more nefarious flavor\u2026<\/p>\n

Cotton Candy<\/b> – Not for the weak of spirit. Imagine the sugary, floral taste of six feet of Bubble Tape. Distill that into a microcosm of liquid flavoring. Combine with hydrogenated cottonseed oil and squish out onto a piece of dollar store plastic wrap. Voila. You have this flavor.<\/p>\n

I ate this roll last, hedging my bets that its strong flavors would eliminate my powers of taste. They did. While I appreciate the green apple flavor on its own, I discovered that bubblegum-flavored apples are not for me. Those with sensitive taste buds should approach with caution.<\/p>\n

Taken as a whole, the experience of these rolls ranged between surprisingly great to mildly terrorizing. I hammered through the Lemonade\/Cherry combination with gusto, but the Cotton Candy\/Apple? That\u2019s filed under the clunkers.<\/p>\n

While neither flavor will replace my favorite (Strawberry), I appreciate that General Mills branched out with their Roll-Up offerings in a fun, summery way that celebrates the carnival. The next generation of humans may never experience Mayor McCheese or the way, way back seat of station wagons, but I have hope we\u2019ll hang tight to the questionably safe swings and giganto funnel cakes at the carnival.<\/p>\n

Just maybe keep the cotton candy-flavored apples out of it.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 roll \u2013 50 calories, 5 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 12 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Carnival Fruit Roll-Ups
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $4.98 (Triple Pack)
\nSize:<\/b> 3 boxes – 10 rolls per box
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Walmart
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10 (Berry Lemonade\/Cherry Slushie)
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 10 (Cotton Candy\/Caramel Apple)
\nPros:<\/b> Lemonade\/Cherry nicely balanced. Cherry tastes like a Starburst. Pears in ingredient list. Jolly Rancher Apple. Inspires balloon salesmen. Mayor McCheese.
\nCons:<\/b> Cotton Candy can get too sweet. No caramel in Caramel Apple. Blue raspberry is not really a berry. Dollar store plastic wrap. Bonking knee on a coffee table. A harsh, unforgiving world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Finally, General Mills has cornered the market on adults who have a suppressed desire to run off and join the carnival. Having often risked my life on drop towers, fried Oreo cookies, and questionably constructed bungee cords, to say I am a fan of the carnival would be an understatement, and I am flat out […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1744],"class_list":["post-18809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-fruit-roll-ups"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18746,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/07\/07\/spotted-on-shelves-carnival-fruit-roll-ups\/","url_meta":{"origin":18809,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Carnival Fruit Roll-Ups","author":"Marvo","date":"July 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"What? 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