{"id":200,"date":"2005-04-27T00:04:03","date_gmt":"2005-04-27T10:04:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=200"},"modified":"2023-08-29T17:41:16","modified_gmt":"2023-08-30T03:41:16","slug":"ruffles-light-potato-chips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/04\/27\/ruffles-light-potato-chips\/","title":{"rendered":"Ruffles Light Potato Chips"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Ruffles<\/p>\n

I thought I had accumulated enough good karma to prevent something like this.<\/p>\n

I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to open doors for those strangers. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to help those tourists who asked me for directions. I could\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ignored them or said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Me speaka no Englesh.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n

I could\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve laughed and pointed at all those people who fell, tripped, or slipped in front of me, instead of offering them help and seeing if they were all right.<\/p>\n

But I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do it because I wanted to accumulate a ton of credits in my good karma bank account. I did all those good things just so I could avoid bad things, like eat a bag of Ruffles Light Potato Chips.<\/p>\n

Oh, they tasted much like regular Ruffles and they were less greasy, but any product that turns my ass into a volcano can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be good. R-R-Ruffles Have R-R-Ridges! R-R-Ruffles Light Causes R-R-Rectal Er-r-ruptions!<\/p>\n

If only I were bulimic, all the time spent on the porcelain bowl would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve meant something.<\/p>\n

Although, I should\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve known it was too good to be true. I knew there must have been some kind of catch. How can a potato chip be fat free and have half the calories of its regular counterpart, and yet still taste the same?<\/p>\n

Well I found out the truth the hard way.<\/p>\n

Who knew Olean was another name for Olestra?<\/p>\n

Olean. Olestra. Oh crap…literally!<\/p>\n

For those of you who are not familiar with the possible side effects of Olestra, they are: diarrhea, gas, and cramps. I experienced two out of the three, which no matter how you look at it, is a horrible ratio. <\/p>\n

Hitting two out of three free throws…good. Getting two hits in three at bats…good. Getting two out of three Olestra side effects…bad…very bad.<\/p>\n

At least I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t experience another one of Olestra\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s side effects, anal leakage. My Jockey Next to Nothing Boxer Briefs<\/a> were very thankful.<\/p>\n

I guess it didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help I ate half of the bag in one sitting, while watching Behind the Music: Guns N\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Roses for the sixth time.<\/p>\n

I noticed something was wrong when I started having lots of gas. If the amount of gas I was putting out could fuel cars, I could\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve easily dropped gas prices by a dollar. <\/p>\n

Then came the constant trips to the bathroom. For two straight days, I attempted to go running, but within five minutes I found myself running to the nearest restroom.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pretty. Even as I type this, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still experiencing some the effects of the Ruffles Light, which I finished off on Sunday.<\/p>\n

What the hell do I have to do to earn enough good karma to prevent something like this from happening again? Do I have to get Jen and Brad back together? Take down Walmart? Or rescue Britney\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s baby shortly after it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s born?<\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Ruffles Light
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $3.39
\nRating:<\/b> 1.5 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Tastes similar to regular Ruffles. Zero-fat. Low-calorie. No anal leakage.
\nCons:<\/b> Bag smaller than regular Ruffles. Not enough karma credits. Olestra. May cause excessive use of toilet paper. May cause excessive gas.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I thought I had accumulated enough good karma to prevent something like this. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to open doors for those strangers. I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to help those tourists who asked me for directions. I could\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ignored them or said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Me speaka no Englesh.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I could\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve laughed and pointed at all those people who fell, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1474,1594,1600],"class_list":["post-200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-chips","tag-frito-lay","tag-ruffles"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12062,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/04\/30\/news-ruffles-ultimate-potato-chips-have-deeper-r-r-ridges\/","url_meta":{"origin":200,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Ruffles Ultimate Potato Chips Have Deeper R-r-ridges","author":"Marvo","date":"April 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: Click here to read our Ruffles Ultimate Kickin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Jalape\u00c3\u00b1o Ranch review While looking at the gluten-free products page on the Frito-Lay website, because that's what I do for fun, I came across a new line of Ruffles potato chips -- Ruffles Ultimate. What's \"ultimate\" about them? According to this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"chips","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3246\/3102914696_97c7e02079.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":67605,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/02\/05\/lays-all-dressed-potato-chips-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":200,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Lay\u2019s All Dressed Potato Chips","author":"Marvo","date":"February 5, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Frito Lay should offer All Dressed potato chips all the time here in the US. No. Wait. That\u2019s not correct. Let me rephrase that. To be more specific, Ruffles All Dressed Potato Chips should be available all the time here in the US. While these new Lay\u2019s All Dressed Potato\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/laysalldressed1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/laysalldressed1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/laysalldressed1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":55595,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/03\/31\/ruffles-double-crunch-salt-vinegar-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":200,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Ruffles Double Crunch Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips","author":"Marvo","date":"March 31, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream is greater than Lay's Cheddar & Sour Cream Potato Chips, and it's my favorite potato chip. If I see a bag of the Lay's version at a gathering, I sigh and then think that the person who was in charge of bringing chips should no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/ruffdcsaltvineg1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/ruffdcsaltvineg1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/ruffdcsaltvineg1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":34929,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/02\/20\/ruffles-double-crunch-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":200,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Ruffles Double Crunch Potato Chips","author":"Tiffany","date":"February 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"UPDATE: We also reviewed the Sweet & Smoky BBQ, Honey Mustard, and Spicy Cheddar Jack flavors. As an ice chewer, I am all about crunchy goodness. So, Ruffles \u201cnew\u201d Double Crunch chips are right in my wheelhouse. The \u201cnew\u201d is in quotes because Ruffles launched very crunchy chips a couple\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Ruffles-Double-Crunch-Potato-Chips-Closeup.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Ruffles-Double-Crunch-Potato-Chips-Closeup.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Ruffles-Double-Crunch-Potato-Chips-Closeup.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Ruffles-Double-Crunch-Potato-Chips-Closeup.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Ruffles-Double-Crunch-Potato-Chips-Closeup.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":56107,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/05\/12\/ruffles-honey-habanero-potato-chips-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":200,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Ruffles Limited Edition Honey Habanero Potato Chips","author":"Ann","date":"May 12, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"What are they? Ruffles has continued its recent trend of spicy line extensions with limited edition Honey Habanero Ruffles. How are they? SPY-CEE. They're hawt. Which, honestly, is a relief because I don't support the irresponsible use of the term \"habanero.\" I realize that coming in hot, pun intended, on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/rufhonhab1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/rufhonhab1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/rufhonhab1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8580,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/02\/09\/review-ruffles-molten-hot-wings-and-ruffles-loaded-chili-cheese\/","url_meta":{"origin":200,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Ruffles Molten Hot Wings and Ruffles Loaded Chili & Cheese","author":"Jasper","date":"February 9, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Frito-Lay introduced two new Ruffles flavors in late January, just in time for Valentine\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day! 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