{"id":20560,"date":"2016-09-07T02:00:00","date_gmt":"2016-09-07T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=20560"},"modified":"2021-01-07T11:41:29","modified_gmt":"2021-01-07T21:41:29","slug":"review-totinos-supreme-stuffed-nachos-2016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/09\/07\/review-totinos-supreme-stuffed-nachos-2016\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Totino’s Supreme Stuffed Nachos (2016)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Totino's<\/a><\/p>\n

If ramen noodles are the Usain Bolt of cheap eats for students, drunkards and poor folks the world over, then Totino\u2019s is surely…whoever happens to be the second fastest guy in the world.<\/p>\n

Okay, now some of what I\u2019m going to say will sound made up, but unless Wikipedia is riddled with errors (which has never happened), this is the God\u2019s honest: Totino\u2019s was founded in Minneapolis in 1951 (!) by Rose and Jim Totino (!!) as a take-out pizza joint (!!!). They eventually expanded to a full-service restaurant (!!!!) that finally shuttered its doors in 2011 (!@#$%!!). <\/p>\n

I know, right?<\/i><\/p>\n

Anyway, in 1993, Pillsbury-owned Jeno\u2019s pizza rolls (first created by Jeno Paulucci in 1968 as \u201can egg roll filled with pizza ingredients\u201d<\/i>), were rebranded as Totino\u2019s, and the rest is history. <\/p>\n

If you are alive, and human, you have had a Totino\u2019s Party Pizza (the idea of throwing a party involving Totino\u2019s never ceases to make me laugh). You have also had Totino\u2019s Pizza Rolls. <\/p>\n

The \u201cpizza\u201d is by no means a real pizza; now, that\u2019s not to say it\u2019s bad<\/i>. It is a small, crispy disk of bread-like material covered with an amalgamation of hydrogenated oil-based cheese substitutes, flavorless ketchup, and salt-bits masquerading as various types of meat toppings. It regularly retails for $1.39 in my area, and can often be found as a 10\/$10 deal. <\/p>\n

It has its place as a late-night regret. <\/p>\n

It is also a wildly successful brand, producing 240 MILLION discs per year. <\/p>\n

So it is no wonder that they would also try to corner the market on another beloved American institution, the frozen, pocket-based delicacy. Not that this is their first attempt. The ORIGINAL Stuffed Nacho from Totino\u2019s was introduced in 1996 and then discontinued, leaving a trail of heartbroken and hungry snack aficionados in the wake. <\/p>\n

\"Totino's<\/a><\/p>\n

The Totino\u2019s Stuffed Nacho is a triangle pizza roll filled with nacho-inspired ingredients. For the sake of this review, I went with the \u201csupreme\u201d variation. The box promised me \u201ctaco seasoned chicken and beef pizza topping, red bell peppers, jalape\u00f1os and cheddar cheese rolls in a crispy crust.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Totino's<\/a><\/p>\n

The first thing you should know is that you can\u2019t taste ANY<\/i> of it. There was no heat from the jalape\u00f1o, no sweet tang from a red bell pepper, no possible way a chicken ever saw the killing room floor. There may<\/i> have been cheese, but only in the way that we know God loves us. <\/p>\n

The shell was different from a standard pizza roll in that it was corn-tasting. Not in an ACTUAL<\/i> corn tortilla respect — and not even in a corn chip way — but in the way that Nestle manages to conjure a vague corn-ambiance from its Beef Taco Hot Pockets effort. <\/p>\n

The beef too was not unlike the aforementioned BTHP. It was a chewy approximation of meat, but if you received something like it anywhere other than here (Taco Bell included), you\u2019d curse out the proprietor and demand a refund. It has that signature taco taste, though, achieved through \u201cspice\u201d (a real ingredient on the label), as well as onion and garlic powders. <\/p>\n

\"Totino's<\/a><\/p>\n

Anyway, does this taste like an elf in the Totino\u2019s factory magically impregnated a pizza roll with a plate of delicious nachos? Not a chance.<\/p>\n

Would I buy them again, however? Eh, maybe. They seriously weren\u2019t awful — in the same way that pizza rolls and Totino\u2019s pizza discs aren\u2019t awful. But at $4.59 (!) for a 34 count box (NOBODY NEEDS THAT MANY OF THESE THINGS!!), it\u2019s prohibitively expensive. You know, for the target demographic: students, vagabonds, and drunks. <\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 6 rolls \u2013 220 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 420 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Purchased Price:<\/b> $4.59
\nSize:<\/b> 17.4 oz box
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Hy-Vee
\nRating:<\/b> 4 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Vague taco qualities. You don\u2019t have to think much about it. Nice face-stuffing quotient
\nCons:<\/b> Pretty one-note. Idea of \u201cnacho pocket\u201d isn\u2019t a bad one, but execution on this offering lacks. Per Wikipedia, Consumer Reports rated Totino’s as “only fair for nutrition.\u201d<\/i> Because, duh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If ramen noodles are the Usain Bolt of cheap eats for students, drunkards and poor folks the world over, then Totino\u2019s is surely…whoever happens to be the second fastest guy in the world. Okay, now some of what I\u2019m going to say will sound made up, but unless Wikipedia is riddled with errors (which has […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1571,1770],"class_list":["post-20560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-frozen-food","tag-totinos"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9889,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/08\/04\/review-totinos-pizza-stuffers-pepperoni-and-combination\/","url_meta":{"origin":20560,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Totino’s Pizza Stuffers (Pepperoni and Combination)","author":"Marvo","date":"August 4, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Totino's Party Pizzas have a special place in my heart, which I hope they're not clogging with trans fats. Even though I've never seen one at a party, it uses something called \"Mozzarella Cheese Substitute,\" and its crispy crust sometimes makes my upper palate raw, my mouth can't help but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Totino's Pizza Stuffers","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6148\/6005097654_694db174da.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":71155,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/07\/18\/spotted-totinos-ultimate-pizzas\/","url_meta":{"origin":20560,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED: Totino’s Ultimate Pizzas","author":"Marvo","date":"July 18, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"There's also a combination pizza variety. According to Totino's, these Ultimate pizzas have more cheese and meat than it's regular Party Pizzas. (Spotted by Jarred at Walmart.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/totuliexchepiz.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/totuliexchepiz.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/totuliexchepiz.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/totuliexchepiz.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/totuliexchepiz.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":62723,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2024\/06\/10\/spotted-totinos-breakfast-bites\/","url_meta":{"origin":20560,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED: Totino’s Breakfast Bites","author":"Marvo","date":"June 10, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I guess it would be weird for Totino's to call these Breakfast Rolls, which would be confusing seeing as how there are all kinds of rolls one could eat for breakfast. Although, I have eaten Totino's Pizza Rolls for breakfast. Ugh. I've spent too much time thinking about this. (Spotted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/totbfchoriz.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/totbfchoriz.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/totbfchoriz.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/totbfchoriz.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/totbfchoriz.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9833,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/07\/27\/news-totinos-creates-a-new-way-to-stuff-your-face-with-their-pizza\/","url_meta":{"origin":20560,"position":3},"title":"NEWS: Totino’s Creates A New Way To Stuff Your Face With Their Pizza","author":"Marvo","date":"July 27, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"The new Totino's Pizza Stuffers look like Totino's took their Party Pizza, folded one end over the other, and then used a mad scientist's shrink ray to get it down to a size slightly bigger than two or three of their Pizza Rolls. Or if you eat a lot of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19051,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/09\/11\/spotted-on-shelves-totinos-bacon-pepperoni-pizza-rolls\/","url_meta":{"origin":20560,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Totino’s Bacon & Pepperoni Pizza Rolls","author":"Marvo","date":"September 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"This would be significantly more interesting if the bacon was wrapped around the Totino's Pizza Rolls. (Spotted by Deanna R at Meijer.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Totino's Bacon & Pepperoni Pizza Rolls","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5741\/21288973845_95918194e4_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5741\/21288973845_95918194e4_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5741\/21288973845_95918194e4_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":69183,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/04\/08\/spotted-totinos-and-old-el-paso-ramen-noodles\/","url_meta":{"origin":20560,"position":5},"title":"SPOTTED: Totino’s and Old El Paso Ramen Noodles","author":"Marvo","date":"April 8, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Not an April Fools joke. (Spotted by Sage G at Walmart.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and \"Spotted\" in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/totchepizramennoo-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/totchepizramennoo-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/totchepizramennoo-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20560","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20560"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20560\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}