Salutations, patrons of The Impulsive Buy!<\/p>\n
One January, during my last semester of college, I approached a booth at a campus editing fair. (I don\u2019t want you to have ridiculously high expectations for my writing to be perfect, so I won\u2019t tell you I\u2019m a professional editor. Oh\u2014oops!) One of the girls manning the booth was one of my former classmates. She offered me some of the candy they were giving out, but then she realized it was Christmas candy, and Christmas was over, so she thought I wouldn\u2019t eat it. She was right.<\/p>\n
The other girl at the booth, whom I had never met, said, \u201cWait. Is this the guy?\u201d Apparently my fame had spread throughout campus, or at least through the program. She had heard from another of my former classmates about me. And this is not the only time someone I\u2019ve never met has heard about me.<\/p>\n
See, when it comes to sweets\u2014candy, desserts, other sugary snacks that don\u2019t exactly fit either category, I only eat holiday-themed things.* It counts if it\u2019s only some festive sprinkles or even just a fun wrapper, but I prefer the unique flavors that come out in abundance. Pumpkin spice. Candy cane. Red velvet. And, for some reason, Peeps.<\/p>\n
But not only do these things have to be seasonal, it has to be the right season. So back to the university booth: my former classmate pointed out some of the Valentine\u2019s Day candy. It was still too early, but she told me I could take some and save it. And I did just that. I took it home and ate it later that month, when the time for red and pink hearts had arrived.<\/p>\n
If a food is not sugary, like chips or fast food, I will eat it regardless of the time of year. But even those things get bonus points if they have special turkey or cranberry flavors.<\/p>\n
(*OK, I have a few times set out per year when I can eat whatever I want. But even then, I gravitate toward limited edition goodies.)<\/p>\n
I was born and raised in Utah, where I\u2019ve been basically my whole life. Don\u2019t believe all the stereotypes. I have never once had green Jello with carrots in it. Marshmallows and fruit cocktail in Jello, yes, but never carrots. We do have fry sauce in every restaurant, though. And don\u2019t ask me if the beer is really watered down. I\u2019m a teetotaler, so I wouldn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m excited to have a valid reason to obsess over seasonal candy, now that I\u2019m on the Impulsive Buy team. People think I\u2019m weird for putting so much thought into junk food. But now I have found my people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Salutations, patrons of The Impulsive Buy! One January, during my last semester of college, I approached a booth at a campus editing fair. (I don\u2019t want you to have ridiculously high expectations for my writing to be perfect, so I won\u2019t tell you I\u2019m a professional editor. Oh\u2014oops!) One of the girls manning the booth […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":43,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[276],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20899","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-announcement"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41114,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/12\/02\/announcement-new-impulsive-buy-reviewer-elaine\/","url_meta":{"origin":20899,"position":0},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Reviewer Elaine","author":"Elaine","date":"December 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s a bird. It\u2019s a plane. It\u2019s Elaine! Hi! I\u2019m Elaine and I\u2019m like a foodie-Superman with a lot less powers and no toned abs. Like Superman, I have speed \u2013 I can scarf a cheeseburger faster than anybody I know. I also have enhanced senses and can identify when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10772,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/12\/06\/announcement-support-the-impulsive-buy-this-gift-giving-season\/","url_meta":{"origin":20899,"position":1},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: Support The Impulsive Buy This Gift Giving Season","author":"Marvo","date":"December 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"This holiday season, if you're planning to purchase something from Amazon for your family, friends, co-workers, or lover(s), might I suggest when you do so, you use The Impulsive Buy's Amazon link below or in the right sidebar. The Impulsive Buy's Amazon link By using The Impulsive Buy's Amazon link,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19980,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/04\/27\/announcement-new-impulsive-buy-writer-ryan\/","url_meta":{"origin":20899,"position":2},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: New Impulsive Buy Writer Ryan","author":"Ryan","date":"April 27, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Salutations, readers! I come to you not just with salutations (which is easily the weirdest way to say hello), but with an introduction and a promise. My name is Ryan and I am but one of the latest crash test dummies to climb aboard this speeding junk food juggernaut called\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28001,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/03\/31\/weekend-giveaway-more-candy-to-give-away\/","url_meta":{"origin":20899,"position":3},"title":"WEEKEND GIVEAWAY: More Candy to Give Away!","author":"Marvo","date":"March 31, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Still got candy to give away. I also found a box of Cheez-It Duoz that got sent my way last month that I could part with. Oh, and I opened up a box of Pop-Tarts that was sent to me in January and giving away a couple of packs. So\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_2096.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_2096.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_2096.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":27824,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/03\/24\/weekend-giveaway-happy-early-halloween\/","url_meta":{"origin":20899,"position":4},"title":"WEEKEND GIVEAWAY: Happy Early Halloween!","author":"Marvo","date":"March 24, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I've gotten some candy recently. Okay, \"some\" is kind of understating it. I've got enough candy to be called by a few dozen children, \"the cool house that gives away full candy bars,\" if it was Halloween. But it's not, so I'm going to give away a bunch of candy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_2037.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_2037.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/IMG_2037.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5297,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/11\/29\/prize-drawing-because-its-the-season-of-giving\/","url_meta":{"origin":20899,"position":5},"title":"PRIZE DRAWING: Because It’s The Season of Giving","author":"Marvo","date":"November 29, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Agoraphobics call it, \"The Season of Avoiding Shopping Malls and the Post Office.\" Retail workers who don't work on commission call it, \"The Worst Time to Work in Retail.\" But for many, they call this time of year, \"The Season of Giving.\" Right now, I'm in the mood to give\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20899","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/43"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20899\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}