{"id":21307,"date":"2017-02-28T02:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-02-28T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=21307"},"modified":"2025-02-02T16:58:23","modified_gmt":"2025-02-03T02:58:23","slug":"review-mtn-dew-white-label","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/02\/28\/review-mtn-dew-white-label\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Mtn Dew White Label"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Gather \u2018round, kids: it\u2019s time for a Choose Your Own Adventure<\/em> story!<\/p>\n

You are Mountain Dew Pitch Black, a heroic soda knight whose early 2000s Halloween conquests \u2014 and recent 2016 revival \u2014 made him the sugary stuff of legends and memories alike. <\/p>\n

But although you\u2019re a more mythic Mountain than Olympus, people aren\u2019t as charmed by radioactively purple syrup as they used to be. So if you don\u2019t want to join Heinz EZ Squeeze in Violet Valhalla, you\u2019ll have to grow up.<\/p>\n

Which path will you take at this pivotal crossroad? <\/p>\n

If you choose the dark path, turn to a different review<\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you choose the light path, turn to the next page and prepare to see a threatening, all-caps THE END that\u2019ll make you glad you kept your thumb on the previous page.<\/em><\/p>\n

Why? Because while Mountain Dew\u2019s recent Black Label was a deliciously classy Pitch Black who grew up to host dinner parties and own an art house theater, this new White Label tastes like an adult Pitch Black who bitterly yells at the local news with his mouthful of lukewarm Hungry Man dinners.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Enough doom, gloom, and microwaved rib eye for now: let\u2019s start with the positives. Mountain Dew White Label does preserve much of the grape flavor that makes Pitch Black great, without the syrupy discomfort that Pitch Black\u2019s many grams of sugary slugs slime onto the back of your throat. At only 35 grams of sugar and 140 calories per can, this comparatively light Dew won\u2019t leave you shamefully feeling like you drank a Nickelodeon prop.<\/p>\n

I say \u201cmuch of the grape flavor,\u201d because the fruitiness is lighter, too. The white grape juice concentrate lacks the sour, tangy punch of its red sibling, but it replaces it with an unparalleled crispness that\u2019s nearly floral. It\u2019s no chardonnay, but I can see this flavor appealing to a niche audience of Dew snobs.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, that\u2019s the nicest thing I can say about Mtn Dew White Label. Because once the white grape flavor fades, an unwelcome orange backend takes its place. The can claims that White Label is \u201cDew with Crafted Tropical Citrus,\u201d but the bitter, acrid tang of this orange finish just tastes like the juice of a wrinkly tangerine that was infused with expired SunnyD and the pity tears of a passing pineapple.<\/p>\n

In short: this tropical shipwreck\u2019s more LOST<\/em> than Gilligan\u2019s Island<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Mtn Dew White Label isn\u2019t undrinkable, and it might work for those seeking a super smooth soda that won\u2019t pummel their trachea with the aggressive jabs of a million bubbles, but Black Label just tastes superior in every way. White Label is pretty much Diet Black Label (it contains Sucralose, and you can tell), and since Black Label was already a less carbonated Pitch Black, this new Dew\u2019s one degree of separation too far away to be worth it.<\/p>\n

So please, young Pitch Black, if you\u2019re reading this, disregard Master Kenobi and embrace the power of the Dark Side.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can \u2013 140 calories, 0 grams of fat, 70 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 35 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein..)<\/small><\/p>\n

Purchased Price:<\/b> $1.69
\nSize:<\/b> 16 oz. can
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Meijer
\nRating:<\/b> 4 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> White grape concentrate that\u2019s crisper than Denny\u2019s hash browns. Not feeling like my taste buds went on Double Dare<\/em>. Liquid opacity that rivals Crystal Pepsi. Pairing this with Doritos for a low-budget wine & cheese night.
\nCons:<\/b> Diet Diet Pitch Black. Cantankerous citrus aftertastes. Pineapple pity parties. Suddenly: sucralose! Never getting to eat purple ketchup again. Throwing so much shade they could\u2019ve called it \u201cGrey Label.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gather \u2018round, kids: it\u2019s time for a Choose Your Own Adventure story! You are Mountain Dew Pitch Black, a heroic soda knight whose early 2000s Halloween conquests \u2014 and recent 2016 revival \u2014 made him the sugary stuff of legends and memories alike. But although you\u2019re a more mythic Mountain than Olympus, people aren\u2019t as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1722,1543,1488],"class_list":["post-21307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-mountain-dew","tag-mtn-dew","tag-soda"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":26723,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/01\/18\/review-mtn-dew-ice\/","url_meta":{"origin":21307,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Mtn Dew Ice","author":"James","date":"January 18, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"The whole \u201ctranslucent soda\u201d thing isn\u2019t exactly the freshest idea. 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