Prince Albert<\/a> (Warning: Link not safe for work.) because those things would really make me a bad boy.<\/p>\nThen I’m going to get me a motorcycle, because women love bad boys on motorcycles, no matter how ugly the guy is. Either a nice Harley-Davidson or maybe a street bike. Also, I’m not going to buy a helmet, because I’m a bad boy and I live my life on the edge, baby!<\/p>\n
Ooh, I also have to get drunk at a bar, get into a fight, and get arrested by the police. When they arrest me, I have to be dragged because a bad boy would disrespect authority. If the cops beat me, I’ll just tell them, “Naw, that didn’t hurt. Do it again!” That’s what a bad boy would say.<\/p>\n
Oh wait. I forgot. <\/p>\n
I can’t get a tattoo or a body piercing because I HATE needles and I have a very low threshold for pain. I can’t get a motorcycle because apparently they don’t come with training wheels. I can’t get drunk because I’m usually the designated driver. I can’t get into a fight because I’m such a wuss that I’ll probably get knocked out by a midget.<\/p>\n
I wonder what else I could do to be a bad boy?<\/p>\n
(Editor’s Note: Thanks to MSNBC blogger and occasional Impulsive Buy reader Gael Cooper for introducing me to Star Wars Twisted Cheetos.)<\/small>
\nItem:<\/b> Star Wars Twisted Cheetos
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> 99 cents
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Delicious just like Cheetos. Licking my cheesy fingers. Makes your tongue temporarily change color.
\nCons:<\/b> I don’t belong to the Dark Side of the Force. I’ll never become a bad boy. The pain from a Prince Albert.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’m disappointed with these Star Wars Twisted Cheetos. Not because of the taste, because they taste great just like regular Cheetos. Also, not because they make my fingers a cheesy mess, because I like to clean my fingers by sucking on them after eating Cheetos. I’m disappointed because I was hoping the Star Wars Twisted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1535,1474,1754],"class_list":["post-214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cheetos","tag-chips","tag-star-wars"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19172,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/10\/07\/review-minions-cinnamon-banana-cheetos-japan\/","url_meta":{"origin":214,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Minions Cinnamon Banana Cheetos (Japan)","author":"Marvo","date":"October 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Over the past year we\u2019ve seen a lot of products with movie tie-ins. But it seems most of them have come from three movies \u2014 Frozen, Star Wars, and Minions. Sorry, Avengers: Age of Ultron and whatever DreamWorks Animation movies that came out this year. 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![\"Star](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/05\/Star-Wars-Twisted-Cheetos.jpeg?resize=600%2C600&ssl=1\")
<\/p>\n