![\"Hostess](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Hostess-Bakeshop-CupCake-Cookies.jpg?resize=549%2C600\" "\\"Hostess")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Everyone has a soulmate snack cake. The one sugary, refined, packaged, and questionably delicious baked good that, despite what logic, fortune cookies, retrogrades of mercury, physician advice, and foreboding messages written in your toast imply, you adore. From SnoBalls to Zingers, Cosmic Brownies to Donettes, we all are star-crossed and bound to one.<\/p>\n
And, while I may have had a few flings with a Star Crunch \u2014 and maybe a Zebra Cake or two \u2014 okay, I love them all. But today my heart\u2019s matched to the Hostess CupCake. Who can resist the oddly fudgy cake? The sugary icing floof? The chocolatey ganache with eight sugary squiggles you can gobble right off the top?? <\/p>\n
And now they come in cookie form, which, as we well know this is the equivalent of the muffin top of the pastry world, doused in fudge and oozing with icing. I\u2019m hungry just typing that. Let\u2019s dive in!<\/p>\n
![\"Hostess](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Hostess-Bakeshop-CupCake-Cookies-2.jpg?resize=640%2C380\" "\\"Hostess")
<\/p>\n
Texture-wise, this cookie\u2019s a winner. It\u2019s more cake-like than crispity-crunchity and deftly walks the line between being both fudgy and more fluffy-wuffy than a bunny sleeping on a TempurPedic in a field of dandelions. That fluffy-wuffiness (using scientific terms today) serves the cookie well as it contrasts with the smooth, crisp coating and sugary squiggle.<\/p>\n
And the smell only makes everything better. Right out of the package, aromas of chocolate burst out like 15,000 ponies cascading into a Roman Coliseum. It smells of sugar! And cocoa! And that bizarre nutty-coffee sweetness that comes at the end of Dove dark chocolate! (Is there a name for this? Professional Linguist turned Chocolate Connoisseur: please help!)<\/p>\n
That said, this top-notch smell doesn\u2019t fully carry over when it comes to flavor. In fact, the cake tastes of very little: mainly flour, but also a hint of cocoa and Maxwell instant coffee. The chocolate coating helps things out by the hair of its chinny chin-chin. <\/p>\n
It\u2019s sugar-forward and tastes like Hershey\u2019s milk chocolate while the sugary squiggle tastes of sugar\u2026 and maybe a hint of marshmallow? And while I was bummed to discover there was no fluffy icing filling inside (cue the sad tubas!), the coating itself is definitely a step up from that in the typical Hostess CupCake\u2026 although I\u2019m pretty sure you could wax a car with that stuff. <\/p>\n
![\"Hostess](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Hostess-Bakeshop-CupCake-Cookies-3.jpg?resize=640%2C403\" "\\"Hostess")
<\/p>\n
All in all, these buggers end up tasting like those soft-baked Snackwell\u2019s chocolate cookies: a not-so-exciting cake with a sugary, semi-chocolatey icing. While they were tasty enough, I found myself dreaming nostalgically of that fluffy white filling in a regular Hostess CupCake. Without it, the cake lacks pizazz. <\/p>\n
If you give these a whirl, I encourage smooshing two cookies together with ice cream and\/or questionably emulsified (but impossibly delicious) whipped topping to mimic the effect. Without that? These will be but mediocre, and you deserve better than mediocre, dear reader! Do not settle for bland cookies. Otherwise, there will be sadness, the ship will be down, the Titanic will be sunk, and you will be floating on a makeshift raft made out of a door as you talk nonsense to your frozen lover while Celine Dion sings over flute music in the moonlight, and no matter how long you say, \u201cI\u2019ll never let go,\u201d you gotta let go.<\/p>\n
So I\u2019m letting go of you, Hostess CupCake Cookies. Or at least not buying you again without a Costco-sized vat of whipped topping. I may have built you up as lofty dreams in my head, but, as Celine Dion prophesized in 1998, \u201cmy heart will go on and ooooon.\u201d<\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookie – 110 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 11 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Purchased Price:<\/b> $3.99
\nSize:<\/b> 1 pack\/10 cookies
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Von\u2019s
\nRating:<\/b> 5 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Fudgy, fluffy cookie texture. Chocolatey icing. Squiggles! 15,000 ponies cascading into a Roman Coliseum.
\nCons:<\/b> No fluffy filling. Chocolatey smell doesn\u2019t fully carry over in flavor. Not-so-exciting cake flavor of flour and cheap coffee. May have Celine Dion song stuck in head for the rest of the day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Everyone has a soulmate snack cake. The one sugary, refined, packaged, and questionably delicious baked good that, despite what logic, fortune cookies, retrogrades of mercury, physician advice, and foreboding messages written in your toast imply, you adore. From SnoBalls to Zingers, Cosmic Brownies to Donettes, we all are star-crossed and bound to one. And, while […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1501,1504],"class_list":["post-21887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cookies","tag-hostess"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19466,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/12\/30\/review-hostess-limited-edition-dark-chocolate-raspberry-cupcakes\/","url_meta":{"origin":21887,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Hostess Limited Edition Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes","author":"Margaret","date":"December 30, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Among the world of berries, raspberries are a hard sell. They\u2019re bitter, rot fast, and are filled with teeny pulp bits that get stuck in your teeth, but they also have a distinct sweet, flowery profile that I crave at the inconvenient hour of now, when they\u2019re overpriced, out-of-season, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hostess Limited Edition Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5826\/23425772924_ed5bf99c16_o.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5826\/23425772924_ed5bf99c16_o.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5826\/23425772924_ed5bf99c16_o.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19668,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/02\/16\/review-limited-edition-filled-cupcake-oreo-cookies\/","url_meta":{"origin":21887,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Limited Edition Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies","author":"Margaret","date":"February 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The year was 1922 when Sir Leonard Woolley began his excavation of the Mesopotamian city-state of Ur. It was here where he found a pair of dice dating back 4000 years, thus proving that humans have been degenerate gamblers since the ancients. 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A new limited-time citrus variation on the OG grocery store\/gas station\/convenience store cupcake that you know and love! It\u2019s an iced lemon flavored cake with a creamy filling. 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Nah,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hostess Limited Edition Red Velvet Cup Cakes","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7507\/16208363771_3e14391fb0_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7507\/16208363771_3e14391fb0_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7507\/16208363771_3e14391fb0_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":27936,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/03\/29\/spotted-on-shelves-hostess-bake-shop-cupcake-cookies-strawberry-and-lemon-iced-cookies\/","url_meta":{"origin":21887,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Hostess Bake Shop CupCake Cookies Strawberry and Lemon Iced Cookies","author":"Marvo","date":"March 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Quick question: Why don't Hostess Lemon CupCakes exist? (Spotted by @ReneBarba89 at FoodMaxx.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and \"Spotted\" in the subject line. 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If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hostess Bake Shop CupCake Cookies","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Hostess-Bake-Shop-CupCake-Cookies.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Hostess-Bake-Shop-CupCake-Cookies.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Hostess-Bake-Shop-CupCake-Cookies.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21887"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21887\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}