{"id":236,"date":"2005-06-23T00:03:22","date_gmt":"2005-06-23T10:03:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=236"},"modified":"2023-08-14T16:29:44","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T02:29:44","slug":"x-it-strong-mints-with-guarana","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/06\/23\/x-it-strong-mints-with-guarana\/","title":{"rendered":"X-It Strong Mints with Guarana"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"X-It<\/p>\n

(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day Four of Energy Week here at The Impulsive Buy and today I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be focusing my attention on energy breath mints. Yes, energy breath mints, which look like smaller Vivarin, except without near illegal amounts of caffeine, withdrawals, and trembling of hands. Enjoy.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Hey baby doll! How ya doin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122?<\/p>\n

Yo girl, why you backin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 up? I knows I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m smellin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 good cuz I gots my Tag Body Spray on. I put a spray here. Bam. Put a spray there. Bam. Put a spray down there. Bam. I knows you wanna jump me, like in the commercials. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be shy.<\/p>\n

Poser? So that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s how it is now, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a poser. Well I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a poser that can rock your world.<\/p>\n

Why you backin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 up some more, baby? I knows my breath don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t smell cuz I gots these X-It Strong Mints in my mouth. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re powerful mints so they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gonna make my mouth so minty fresh that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gonna wanna faint and let me give you some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.<\/p>\n

Let me pop a few more mints in my mouth right now, cuz I gots wine cooler breath.<\/p>\n

So whut if I likes wine coolers? They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re fruity and easy to drink, girl!<\/p>\n

An\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 you know whut? These mints gots guarana<\/a> in them to help give me energy, just in case I gots to do it ALL NIGHT. Yeah, you know whut I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sayin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. <\/p>\n

Of course, one tiny mint ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t gonna do it for this prize of a man. Maybe if I take five or ten mints and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have enough energy to rock your world all night and all day, baby!<\/p>\n

Whut you talkin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122, girl? I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t needs to take no Enzyte<\/a> wit these mints. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just that my leather pants are too tight and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s squashing my huge Johnson.<\/p>\n

Another thang about these mints are that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re sugarfree, so I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t gots worry about messin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 up my pearly white grill wit cavities. <\/p>\n

Yo, why you trippin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 on my braces? They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re comin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 out in a few weeks.<\/p>\n

Now that I think about it, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if I should be hangin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 wit you, girl. Cuz you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re sugar sweet, baby! But on second thought, I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind gettin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 a few cavities cuz of you.<\/p>\n

Try some of these mints, baby! If you like it, maybe later you can pop more in your mouth and then give some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to my friend Mr. Happy, cuz he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s getting squashed in my leather pants.<\/p>\n

SLAP!!!<\/p>\n

Aw girl, why’d you slap me for?<\/p>\n

Where you goin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122?<\/p>\n

Damn!<\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> X-It Strong Mints with Guarana
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $1.99
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Strong mints. Clears nasal passages. Sugarfree. Guarana. Freshens breath.
\nCons:<\/b> Takes many mints for the guarana to have an effect. My ability to talk to women. Tight leather pants.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day Four of Energy Week here at The Impulsive Buy and today I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be focusing my attention on energy breath mints. Yes, energy breath mints, which look like smaller Vivarin, except without near illegal amounts of caffeine, withdrawals, and trembling of hands. Enjoy.) Hey baby doll! How ya doin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122? Yo girl, why […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-236","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":129,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/01\/24\/girl-scouts-thin-mints\/","url_meta":{"origin":236,"position":0},"title":"Girl Scouts Thin Mints","author":"Marvo","date":"January 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I learned a very important lesson this weekend: Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t try to haggle with Girl Scouts, because they won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t budge. Yesterday, while I was walking out of the national grocery store chain I shop at, out of nowhere three Girl Scouts appeared in front of my shopping cart. Fortunately, I have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/08\/27\/personal-oral-b-brush-ups\/","url_meta":{"origin":236,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Oral-B Brush-Ups","author":"Marvo","date":"August 27, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Ever brush your teeth with your finger? I have several times after waking up next to some girl I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even know and let me tell you, it really doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t work very well. You end up with toothpaste under your nail and you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get consistent toothpaste foaming. Sure I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":696,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/07\/30\/spearmint-pure-mints\/","url_meta":{"origin":236,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Spearmint Pure Mints","author":"Marvo","date":"July 30, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I never thought a company would make a product specifically for vain douchebags, but the Spearmint Pure Mints with its included mirror under the lid seems like it's perfect for those who like fresh breath and enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror while admiring their perceived awesomeness. (Editor's Note:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":457,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/03\/21\/oral-fixation-mints-variety-6-pack\/","url_meta":{"origin":236,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Oral Fixation Mints Variety 6-Pack","author":"Marvo","date":"March 21, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I know what you're thinking. With the word \"oral\" in the name of today's review subject, the Oral Fixation Mints Variety 6-Pack, you're probably wondering how many oral sex references will be in this review. I thought about taking the blowjob approach, but realized going down on that long hard\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":421,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/12\/03\/high-intensity-monster-mints\/","url_meta":{"origin":236,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: High Intensity Monster Mints","author":"Marvo","date":"December 3, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"On behalf of all the monsters out there, I just want to thank Monster for finally making a mint specifically made for monsters. I'm sure all monsters, whether they be zombies, gargoyles, werewolves, vampires, Frankenstein, Cookie Monster, or supermodel Naomi Campbell, are finally happy to have a mint that we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":243,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/06\/29\/coke-zero\/","url_meta":{"origin":236,"position":5},"title":"Coke Zero","author":"Marvo","date":"June 29, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Look Coke Zero, I know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going through some hard times right now with you being the new kid on the block, but calling yourself Coke Zero is not good for your self-esteem. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m worried about you, Coke Zero. I know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re trying to be popular, but I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=236"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}