<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nI didn’t realize it until recently, but water is apparently making a comeback. Even if it’s been here for years. In bottles and on tap it appears. Making tears and when it rain, it makes mud. Listen to your throat go chug. Dehydration, overpowering. Jump into the bathroom, I’m showering.<\/p>\n
Okay, okay, enough with the LL Cool J lyrics. I know, I know, I was stretching it a bit with the “overpowering\/showering” rhyme.<\/p>\n
Anyway, it seems like everyone is coming out with their own water or selling water. McDonald’s gives us the option of having bottled water with our Big Mac and fries. The Macy’s<\/a> stores here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean even sell their own brand of bottled water. <\/p>\n With the amounts of bottled water being sold, I’m surprised Lil Jon<\/a> hasn’t come up with his own brand of water called, Crunk Water.<\/p>\n Not only are there tons of bottled water to choose from, there’s also tons of flavored water to choose from, like lemon-flavored bottled water, berry-flavored bottle water, and orange-flavored water.<\/p>\n One particular brand of water I’ve been interested in is the <\/a>Glacéau Vitamin Water<\/a>, which comes in thirteen different flavors, each flavor contains a variety of vitamins and minerals, and each flavor has a different smart-ass label.<\/p>\n Now I was going to try all thirteen flavors, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find all thirteen flavors and I have a fear of the number thirteen. Although, it’s not like the fear\/creepiness I had with the number sixteen, after seeing Lindsay Lohan’s picture for the first time, saying she was totally hot, finding out she was only sixteen years old, and waiting for someone to arrest me for saying an underaged girl was hot.<\/p>\n Anyway, I ended up getting just nine flavors, and I’m going to individually talk about each one.<\/p>\n Flavor:<\/b> Essential Flavor:<\/b> Rescue Flavor:<\/b> Multi-V Flavor:<\/b> Revive Flavor:<\/b> Stress-B Flavor:<\/b> Balance Flavor:<\/b> Focus Flavor:<\/b> Power-C Flavor:<\/b> Endurance Item:<\/b> Glacéau Vitamin Water I didn’t realize it until recently, but water is apparently making a comeback. Even if it’s been here for years. In bottles and on tap it appears. Making tears and when it rain, it makes mud. Listen to your throat go chug. Dehydration, overpowering. Jump into the bathroom, I’m showering. Okay, okay, enough with the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1545,1621,25],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-beverage","tag-glaceau","tag-water"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":308,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/12\/06\/glaceau-smartwater\/","url_meta":{"origin":241,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Glaceau SmartWater","author":"Marvo","date":"December 6, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Marvo: Okay. Whose 1916 U.S. presidential campaign slogan was: \"He kept us out of war.\"? Glac\u00e9au SmartWater: That's easy. Woodrow Wilson's Marvo: Dammit! You got the yellow wedge! Glac\u00e9au SmartWater: Yeah, that means I've got all the wedges and all I need to do to kick your ass again at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14894,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/05\/24\/review-glaceau-fruitwater-orange-mango\/","url_meta":{"origin":241,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Glac\u00e9au Fruitwater Orange Mango","author":"Margaret","date":"May 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Like a spontaneously occurring geyser in the middle of Yellowstone Park, sparkling water is bursting forth from the underground and having a Renaissance upon the aisles of the grocery store. \u201cSparkling water. What\u2019s the big deal?\u201d you may say to yourself, and, indeed, you are justified in your asking. Sure,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Glaceau Fruitwater Orange Mango","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7425\/8754754677_f3cc96deb5.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17175,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/07\/10\/review-vitaminwater-zero-drops-revive-fruit-punch\/","url_meta":{"origin":241,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Vitaminwater Zero Drops Revive Fruit Punch","author":"Jack","date":"July 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Finally, a drink that combines two of my favorite things: a Vitaminwater brand beverage and the toil and satisfaction of making something with my own two hands. Enter Vitaminwater Zero Drops. With only a few effortless squeezes, you can enjoy the familiar taste of Vitaminwater right out of any glass\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"VitaminWater Zero Revive Drops","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5153\/14579116266_359f09e964.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3062,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/04\/13\/review-glaceau-xxx-vitamin-water-10\/","url_meta":{"origin":241,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Glaceau XXX Vitamin Water 10","author":"Marvo","date":"April 13, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I could stuff this review for the Glaceau XXX Vitamin Water 10 with sexual references in every possible hole I could find, but I'm not going to get behind that and force something like that down your throats, because I'm better than that. For example, I'm not going to talk\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/glaceauxxxvitwater10-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/glaceauxxxvitwater10-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/glaceauxxxvitwater10-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":507,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/07\/22\/glaceau-xxx-vitamin-water\/","url_meta":{"origin":241,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Glaceau XXX Vitamin Water","author":"Marvo","date":"July 22, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I thought my addiction to clown porn was pretty bad, but my dependency on Glac\u00e9au XXX Vitamin Water is worse. It started out innocently when I saw it at the store and wanted to try it out, because I'll try anything just once. I thought I'd have some fun and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3317,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/05\/01\/review-glaceau-tranquilo-vitamin-water\/","url_meta":{"origin":241,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Glaceau Tranquilo Vitamin Water","author":"Marvo","date":"May 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Like all flavors of Vitamin Water, Tranquilo Vitamin Water promises to help you with some aspect of your life that is lacking. Need to boost your immune system? Drink a Defense Vitamin Water. Want something to help with your concentration? Consume Focus Vitamin Water. Need a jolt of energy? 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\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> Vitamin C and Calcium
\nTaste:<\/b> Orangy, like a very weak orange soda without the carbonation.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> People who want to get some Vitamin C, but hate the feeling they get from drinking orange juice right after brushing their teeth.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> B Vitamins and Chamomile
\nTaste:<\/b> It’s like I’m drinking tea leaves or flowers. Blech!
\nPerfect For:<\/b> People wearing leis<\/a> and want breath to match.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> The name says it all.
\nTaste:<\/b> Lemonade-ish. Pretty damn good.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> People who don’t want to pay 25 cents for a small cup of crappy lemonade from some kid with a stand on the side of the road.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> B Vitamins and Potassium
\nTaste:<\/b> Like fruit punch, although significantly less fruity than Tom Cruise.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> Anyone appearing on the reality show, Hit Me Baby One More Time<\/i><\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> Vitamins B3, B5, B6, and B12
\nTaste:<\/b> Like a watered-down lemon-lime soda, except without the carbonation.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Runaway Bride\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Jennifer Wilbanks before her next wedding.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> Vitamin C and Glucosamine<\/a>
\nTaste:<\/b> Cranberry and grapefruit-ish. Definitely not my favorite.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> People who want to make sure they walk in a straight line after being pulled over by a police officer.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> Vitamin A and Ginkgo
\nTaste:<\/b> Kiwi-strawberry mix. Pretty good.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> People who have to sit through a timeshare presentation and don’t want to get caught spacing out. Or people on weed.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> Vitamin C and Taurine
\nTaste:<\/b> What the heck is dragonfruit and why does it taste weird?
\nPerfect For:<\/b> Those who hate oranges, lemons, and limes, but don’t want to get scurvy<\/a>.<\/p>\n
\nMain Vitamins & Minerals:<\/b> Vitamin E and Ribose
\nTaste:<\/b> Nice peach-mango taste.
\nPerfect For:<\/b> Long distance runners, workaholics, and Sting<\/a>, before one of his marathon Tantric sex<\/a> sessions.<\/p>\n
\n
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $1.79 each
\nRating:<\/b> 3.5 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Smart-ass labels. Wide variety of flavors. Good way to get vitamins and minerals. Better than water from a garden hose, unless the garden hose is attached to a slip \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcn slide.
\nCons:<\/b> Pricey. Some flavors weren’t very good. Couldn’t find all the flavors.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"