A wise man once said, \u201cIt\u2019s dangerous to go alone.\u201d Well, I presume it was a wise man. After all, how could an enigmatic cave hermit thrusting a deadly weapon into the hands of a child be anything other than a fount of wisdom? I believe the historical ranking of the wizened sages goes:<\/p>\n
I however, offer something much more valuable than a mere warning and a trinket. I offer knowledge and foresight into the world of Dairy Queen Blizzards. I shall bear the enviable burden of sampling every new Blizzard Treat of the Month, along with returning offerings, and sharing my thoughts with you, my friend. I will be your guide in addition to arming you with the red plastic spoon plucked from the frozen sheath of your inverted delight.<\/p>\n
To that end, let me tell you a little about myself. Because I transition with the grace of a rancor in a pottery shop, I was sired in an Illinoisan shire before spending many years aboard a Navy destroyer on a quest to cast the Onion Ring into the depths of Davy John\u2019s Locker. <\/p>\n
Hmmm, maybe I need to read those books again\u2026<\/p>\n
I leveled up upon returning home by earning a business degree and entering a career in the thrill-a-minute world of costing and pricing analysis . Much like actual hobbits, I spend many hours in the kitchen to indulge my sweet tooth and many more hours in the gym because of it. Eye roll-inducing puns put an impish grin on my face, and I love all things chocolate, peanut butter, and ketchup. The eagle-eyed amongst you may note that one of those things is not like the other, but that\u2019s okay as it will have nothing to do with Blizzards\u2026probably.<\/p>\n
Enough about me though as I\u2019m really here for you, dear reader. I hope that my tales will be illuminating or at the very least entertaining. I look forward to learning more about you as I share my exploits into a very cold and tasty world. Blizzards are coming, and the drive-thru is long and full of terrors.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A wise man once said, \u201cIt\u2019s dangerous to go alone.\u201d Well, I presume it was a wise man. After all, how could an enigmatic cave hermit thrusting a deadly weapon into the hands of a child be anything other than a fount of wisdom? I believe the historical ranking of the wizened sages goes: Confucius […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":49,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[276],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24353","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-announcement"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":23669,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/07\/21\/announcement-were-looking-for-a-dairy-queen-blizzard-reviewer\/","url_meta":{"origin":24353,"position":0},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: We’re Looking For a Dairy Queen Blizzard Reviewer","author":"Marvo","date":"July 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you a card carrying member of the Dairy Queen Blizzard Fan Club? 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It\u2019s the ultimate timesaver! Have you ever wanted to enjoy a Nestle Drumstick and a Dairy Queen Blizzard but simply could not find the time for both in your busy schedule? Your problem is solved with the Nestle Drumstick Blizzard. 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