{"id":252,"date":"2005-07-13T17:00:51","date_gmt":"2005-07-14T03:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=252"},"modified":"2023-08-25T20:13:05","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T06:13:05","slug":"colgate-360-toothbrush","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/07\/13\/colgate-360-toothbrush\/","title":{"rendered":"Colgate 360 Toothbrush"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Colgate<\/p>\n

My dentist once explained to me, “Toothbrushes are like hookers. Cheap ones will get the job done. The more expensive ones will have all their teeth and will also get the job done, except you have to pay a little bit more for some extra tricks.” <\/p>\n

No, wait. That doesn’t sound right.<\/p>\n

Oh, yeah. It was, “Toothbrushes are like cars. The cheap ones will get the job done and the more expensive ones will get the job done just as well.”<\/p>\n

On second thought, I liked the hooker version better.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I’ve been trying out the new Colgate 360 Toothbrush for the past couple of weeks. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I didn’t like the idea of spending over three dollars for ONE toothbrush, but there was something about the Colgate 360 Toothbrush that intrigued me.<\/p>\n

That something was the built-in tongue cleaner, which seems like a typical marketing gimmick, like Valentine’s Day and the Tom Cruise\/Katie Holmes relationship. However, some people with lab coats, clipboards, and the title “Dr.” in front of their names say that the buildup of bacteria on the tongue is one of the causes of bad breath. <\/p>\n

They also say another cause of bad breath is salad tossing.<\/p>\n

After using the tongue cleaner, I can’t really tell if it’s taking off anything, even though it feels like I’m rubbing Velcro on my tongue. <\/p>\n

However, perhaps the reason why it’s not taking off anything is because the instructions on the Colgate website say I should brush my tongue for ten seconds, but when I brushed my tongue, I spent seven seconds of the time gagging. <\/p>\n

I was totally disappointed in myself. I can deep throat a banana, but brushing my tongue makes me gag? I have learned NOTHING!<\/p>\n

Usually if I want to clean my tongue, I take a spoon and scrape it, which I read about in some magazine. It works well because when I’m done scraping, I can actually see the crap I just took off and wonder if it’s the reason why women from Arab countries cover their faces when they’re around me.<\/p>\n

Other features of the Colgate 360 Toothbrush include the several types and lengths of bristles, which are arranged very similar to crop circles<\/a> made by UFOs.<\/p>\n

\"Colgate<\/a><\/p>\n

There’s also comfortable gel padding in the middle of the toothbrush’s shaft, where most people hold their toothbrushes. Unfortunately, the gel padding is useless to me because I hold my toothbrushes like I hold my knives to cut those who mess with my hoes.<\/p>\n

Overall, the Colgate 360 Toothbrush will get the job done as well as any other toothbrush. All the features, like the tongue cleaner and the gel padding are nice, but unnecessary because you can use a spoon to clean your tongue and I’ve never heard of anyone getting carpal tunnel syndrome from brushing their teeth.<\/p>\n

For a person like me, who changes his toothbrush every three months, spending three bucks for a toothbrush can get semi-expensive over a year. So the Colgate 360 Toothbrush breaks my only rule when buying toothbrushes, “If it’s cheaper to buy a rock of crack than the toothbrush, the toothbrush is too expensive.”<\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Colgate 360 Toothbrush
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $3.22
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Semi-useful tongue cleaner and gel padding. Crop circle bristles.
\nCons:<\/b> Overpriced, more expensive than a rock of crack. Tom Cruise\/Katie Holmes relationship. Brushing my tongue makes me gag. Messing with my hoes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My dentist once explained to me, “Toothbrushes are like hookers. Cheap ones will get the job done. The more expensive ones will have all their teeth and will also get the job done, except you have to pay a little bit more for some extra tricks.” No, wait. That doesn’t sound right. Oh, yeah. It […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3242,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/04\/24\/review-colgate-cinnamint-wisp\/","url_meta":{"origin":252,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Colgate Cinnamint Wisp","author":"Marvo","date":"April 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Call me an old man who wants those darn kids to get off of my lawn and to stop skateboarding on the sidewalk, but I don't understand this newfangled Colgate Cinnamint Wisp thingamajig, which is a mini one-time use toothbrush that doesn't need water or rinsing. It seems like it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/Colgate-Cinnamint-Wisp-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/Colgate-Cinnamint-Wisp-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/Colgate-Cinnamint-Wisp-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12929,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/07\/08\/prize-drawing-because-a-wise-man-once-said-a-clean-mouth-will-get-french-kissed-more-than-a-dirty-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":252,"position":1},"title":"PRIZE DRAWING: Because A Wise Man Once Said A Clean Mouth Will Get French Kissed More Than A Dirty One","author":"Marvo","date":"July 8, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh wait.... Or is it the other way around? Anyhoo, the fine folks at Oral-B are letting us give away one of their Professional Precision 1000 Power Toothbrushes to a lucky Impulsive Buy reader. Before I got the email from the fine folks at Oral-B, I was doing research on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Teeth!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/86\/215391576_3396877c74.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":115,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/01\/04\/colgate-max-fresh-with-mini-breath-strips-toothpaste\/","url_meta":{"origin":252,"position":2},"title":"Colgate Max Fresh With Mini Breath Strips Toothpaste","author":"Marvo","date":"January 4, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I figured this Christmas season would be a great time to test the new Colgate Max Fresh With Mini Breath Strips toothpaste because I could probably get some lip action with the help of some mistletoe. Although I have to admit, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never kissed anyone under the mistletoe before. Actually,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Colgate Max Fresh With Mini Breath Strips Toothpaste","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6012\/5966861248_0d4aa8f91c.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9347,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/05\/16\/review-colgate-effervescent-mint-maxclean-smartfoam-with-whitening\/","url_meta":{"origin":252,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening","author":"Jasper","date":"May 16, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Whoa, a toothpaste review! I know what questions are swirling in your head. \"Is it bacon flavored? Did I accidentally visit theresponsiblebuy.com? What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s next, advice on my 401(k)?\" No, no, and you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t go wrong with index funds. Occasionally, TIB likes to offer reviews for products that can cleanse your\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3471\/5725911258_f2fec54877.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":117,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/01\/06\/the-art-of-shaving-sandalwood-shaving-cream\/","url_meta":{"origin":252,"position":4},"title":"The Art of Shaving Sandalwood Shaving Cream","author":"Marvo","date":"January 6, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes I have a taste for the finer things in life, which I blame on my addiction to the television show MTV Cribs. Unfortunately, I can only dream of enjoying the finer things, because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a cheap bastard and the salary of a quasi-product review blog editor is zero. So\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Art of Shaving Sandalwood Shaving Cream","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6136\/5966318405_523134c767.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":459,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/03\/28\/colgate-max-fresh-kiss-me-mint\/","url_meta":{"origin":252,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Colgate Max Fresh Kiss Me Mint","author":"Marvo","date":"March 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I need a Monica Lewinsky. I'm not talking about the alcoholic beverage called Monica Lewinsky, which includes blue curacao liquor (representing her infamous blue dress), coconut rum (representing the infamous stain on her blue dress), vodka, stirred with a cigar, and garnished with a mini black thong. Nor am I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=252"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}