![\"Jack](\"\/images\/jitbrootbeerfloat.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Ahh! Summertime.<\/p>\n
It’s a time when you can sit on your porch swing at night with a cold, tall glass of homemade lemonade and look at the constellations in the sky, listen to the crickets chirp, and bitch about how frickin’ hot it is.<\/p>\n
It’s a time when the mercury in the thermometer rises straight up, like it’s just taken a couple of Viagra. It’s so hot, even Kevin Federline sweats while sitting on the couch and staring at the television all day.<\/p>\n
To beat the heat, there are many things we could do.<\/p>\n
For example, we could play with a Slip ‘N’ Slide. It’s a great way to cool down, except when you get caught by your neighbors for using their water spigot or when you get chafed nipples from all the sliding.<\/p>\n
Another great way to cool down would be to go to the beach or swimming pool, which are crowded this time of year. You can get instant cooling satisfaction by jumping into the water. Of course, this is great until you hit a warm spot in the water, which makes you wonder if it’s warm because of the sun or because all the little kids are peeing in the water.<\/p>\n
Perhaps the best way to cool down, without fear of chafed nipples or little kids peeing in the water, is to drink something cold. Fortunately, Jack in the Box has brought out Jack’s Root Beer Float, made with Barq’s Root Beer and “real vanilla ice cream.”<\/p>\n
Why is “real vanilla ice cream” in quotes?<\/p>\n
You’ll read why later, but it’s sort of like the reason why “straight” is always in quotes when people write about Tom Cruise.<\/p>\n
Recently, it’s been getting into the low 90s, and I’ve been feeling the heat. I would’ve brought out the Slip ‘N’ Slide, but my nipples were chafed from (insert your imagination here)<\/i>. Instead, I decided to drive to the nearest Jack in the Box and pick up their Root Beer Float.<\/p>\n
I decided to use the drive-thru, because I ain’t steppin’ outside.<\/p>\n
When I got to the drive-thru window, I could see them making my Root Beer Float. First, they put in the “real vanilla ice cream,” which unfortunately was the sort of fake, comes-in-a-bag soft-serve vanilla ice cream. It’s the same stuff Jack in the Box uses for their milkshakes, which isn’t very dense, so it melts pretty quickly and it’s smarter than me.<\/p>\n
Next they added the root beer, which thankfully was Barq’s Root Beer, one of my favorites.<\/p>\n
When I received it, the ice cream remained at the bottom, which, if you’re familiar with root beer floats, was where it shouldn’t have been. After flicking the cup a couple of times, the ice cream quickly rose to the top, proving once again the saying, “Cream always rises to the top, except when the creme is used to get rid of zits or herpes.” <\/p>\n
After drinking the Jack in the Box Root Beer Float, I have to say that I wasn’t very impressed with it. It was decent, but anyone could make a better one at home.<\/p>\n
Plus, they didn’t even give me a frickin’ spoon.<\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Jack in the Box Root Beer Float
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $2.29
\nRating:<\/b> 2.5 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Decent. Barq’s Root Beer. Cup has a red racing stripe.
\nCons:<\/b> Uses soft serve ice cream. No frickin’ spoon. I can make a better one at home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ahh! Summertime. It’s a time when you can sit on your porch swing at night with a cold, tall glass of homemade lemonade and look at the constellations in the sky, listen to the crickets chirp, and bitch about how frickin’ hot it is. It’s a time when the mercury in the thermometer rises straight […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1477,1559],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-fast-food","tag-jack-in-the-box"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":64731,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2024\/09\/19\/jack-in-the-box-honey-garlic-sriracha-crispy-chicken-wings-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Jack in the Box Honey Garlic Sriracha Crispy Chicken Wings","author":"Marvo","date":"September 19, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Jack in the Box\u2019s Crispy Chicken Wings are back! Thank goodness. I was afraid they were discontinued because they disappeared off the menu so quickly that I didn\u2019t even get to eat them again after enjoying them earlier this year. This time, along with the Classic, Buffalo, and Garlic Parmesan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/jitbhongarsirwing1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/jitbhongarsirwing1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/jitbhongarsirwing1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":28009,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/04\/02\/fast-food-news-jack-in-the-box-cholula-hot-sauce-buttery-jack\/","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":1},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Jack in the Box Cholula Hot Sauce Buttery Jack","author":"Marvo","date":"April 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review. Impulsive Buy reader Robbie sent in this photo from a Jack in the Box in the San Antonio area. There currently isn't anything about it on the Jack in the Box website, so it's either a test or regional item.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Jack-in-the-Box-Cholula-Hot-Sauce-Buttery-Jack.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14392,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/02\/07\/review-jack-in-the-box-hot-cinnamon-shake\/","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake","author":"Marvo","date":"February 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"If you look at Jack in the Box's Hot Cinnamon Shake, it's hard not to think to yourself, \"Damn! It looks like someone went crazy with a bottle of Red 40 food dye!\" Or \"Damn! Is Jack in the Box promoting a new Hellboy movie?\" Or \"OMG! It like totally\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Jack in the Box Hot Cinnamon Shake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8516\/8451990285_3547a62cd3.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14362,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/01\/31\/review-jack-in-the-box-hot-mess-burger\/","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Jack in the Box Hot Mess Burger","author":"Marvo","date":"January 31, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Jack in the Box\u2019s Hot Mess Burger is possibly the messiest fast food burger my hands and mouth have ever wrapped themselves around, so I guess Hot Mess is an appropriate name. How messy was it? Six napkins and a pair of shorts soaking in water messy. Unfortunately, the bag\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Jack in the Box Hot Mess Burger","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8495\/8434043853_6aebacfb16.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":58565,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/10\/07\/jack-in-the-box-angry-monster-tacos-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Jack in the Box Angry Monster Tacos","author":"Marvo","date":"October 7, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm angry that Jack in the Box's new Angry Monster Tacos don't have jalape\u00f1os. Okay, I'm not irate, but I'm confused by their exclusion because they would've made these truly angry. When monsters get angry, like Godzilla, they may burn things down, so why not attempt to burn my mouth\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/jitbangrytacos1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/jitbangrytacos1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/jitbangrytacos1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":28078,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/04\/05\/quick-review-jack-in-the-box-cholula-buttery-jack\/","url_meta":{"origin":257,"position":5},"title":"QUICK REVIEW: Jack in the Box Cholula Buttery Jack","author":"Marvo","date":"April 5, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"What is it? The Cholula Buttery Jack features a double dose of the hot sauce, which I hope isn\u2019t applied straight from an actual Cholula bottle with a drip top. Because that seems inefficient in a fast food kitchen where speed is important. Along with the Cholula, the burger also\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Jack-in-the-Box-Cholula-Buttery-Jack-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Jack-in-the-Box-Cholula-Buttery-Jack-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Jack-in-the-Box-Cholula-Buttery-Jack-3.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}