{"id":281,"date":"2005-09-13T23:21:50","date_gmt":"2005-09-14T09:21:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/09\/13\/100-whole-grain-chips-ahoy\/"},"modified":"2023-08-29T17:51:19","modified_gmt":"2023-08-30T03:51:19","slug":"whole-grain-chips-ahoy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/09\/13\/whole-grain-chips-ahoy\/","title":{"rendered":"100% Whole Grain Chips Ahoy!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"100%<\/center><\/p>\n

Hey! Whole Grain! Yeah, I’m talking to you!<\/p>\n

You don’t think I notice you invading our breakfast cereals with your whole graininess? Turning our sacred sugary cereals into semi-healthy sunrise suppers. And now you’re slowly creeping into our snacks, like with these new 100% Whole Grain Chips Ahoy!<\/p>\n

It’s not just me who’s noticing your sneaky acts. Impulsive Buy reader Allison let me know about you putting yourself into WHITE BREAD<\/a>. WTF!?! You’ve created wheat white bread. It’s like frickin’ Frankenbread.<\/p>\n

Is nothing sacred to you?<\/p>\n

It’s like you’re the male town slut and you’re just going around town, dropping your seed into as many things as possible, leaving behind a bunch of illegitimate children, who aren’t very bright, attractive, or tasty, and will probably end up in prison.<\/p>\n

Sure, you made the Chips Ahoy! slightly healthier, but I don’t eat cookies for dietary fiber, I eat them because I need to indulge or need to forget the new Ashlee Simpson song or need something to throw when the video of the new Ashlee Simpson song is being played on TV.<\/p>\n

Because of you, junk food will lose its luster and I will need a new vice for those times when I’m sitting in front of the TV and watching G-String Divas or Taxicab Confessions on HBO. Maybe I’ll resort to drugs or alcohol or licking envelopes.<\/p>\n

If there’s nothing wrong with you dropping your seed into Chips Ahoy!, then why does it say on the packaging, “Real Chocolate Chip Cookies”? Why do I need to be convinced that they’re real chocolate chip cookies?<\/p>\n

To be honest, the 100% Whole Grain Chips Ahoy! don’t look like chocolate chip cookies, they actually look like oatmeal raisin cookies. As for the taste, it’s okay, but regular Chips Ahoy! taste better. There’s also that whole grain texture. I think I actually felt whole grains in my mouth.<\/p>\n

See, like I said, you’re producing children that aren’t attractive or tasty.<\/p>\n

At least the cookies came in two individually wrapped packs, or as I like to call them, a double barrel of cookies. This made it easier to take cookies with me, just in case I need to feed a bum or Nicole Richie<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I don’t know what else you plan to put your whole grain member into, but let me tell you, if you drop your seed into an Oreo, I will find you and personally castrate you.<\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> 100% Whole Grain Chips Ahoy!
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $4.00 (slightly on sale)
\nRating:<\/b> 2.5 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> All right tasting. Baked with 100% whole grain. Two grams of dietary fiber. Individually wrapped barrels of cookies.
\nCons:<\/b> Not attractive, looks like oatmeal raisin cookies. Weird whole grain texture. Healthier than regular Chips Ahoy! Not a good snack to indulge with. Nicole Richie’s weight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey! Whole Grain! Yeah, I’m talking to you! You don’t think I notice you invading our breakfast cereals with your whole graininess? Turning our sacred sugary cereals into semi-healthy sunrise suppers. And now you’re slowly creeping into our snacks, like with these new 100% Whole Grain Chips Ahoy! It’s not just me who’s noticing your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1654,1501,1796],"class_list":["post-281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-chips-ahoy","tag-cookies","tag-nabisco"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":26245,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/12\/15\/coming-soon-post-chips-ahoy-and-nutter-butter-cereals\/","url_meta":{"origin":281,"position":0},"title":"COMING SOON: Post Chips Ahoy and Nutter Butter Cereals","author":"Marvo","date":"December 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Later this month, Post will be putting out two new cookie-inspired cereals -- Chips Ahoy and Nutter Butter cereals. The two follow the return of Post Oreo O's, which came back earlier this year. Here's what the press release about them said: Chips Ahoy Cereal -- For all the chocolate\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coming Soon"","block_context":{"text":"Coming Soon","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/coming-soon\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Nutter-Butter-Chips-Ahoy-Cereals.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Nutter-Butter-Chips-Ahoy-Cereals.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Nutter-Butter-Chips-Ahoy-Cereals.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26284,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/12\/19\/review-post-chips-ahoy-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":281,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Post Chips Ahoy Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"December 19, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m eating chocolate chip cookies for breakfast! Life is awesome! Yo Joe!\u201d That\u2019s what I imagine I yelled decades ago when I had my first taste of Cookie Crisp Cereal. And this is what I\u2019d like to yell now after having my first taste of Post\u2019s Original Chips Ahoy Cereal.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Post-Chips-Ahoy-Cereal-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Post-Chips-Ahoy-Cereal-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Post-Chips-Ahoy-Cereal-2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26331,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/12\/26\/spotted-on-shelves-post-nutter-butter-and-chips-ahoy-cereals\/","url_meta":{"origin":281,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Post Nutter Butter and Chips Ahoy Cereals","author":"Marvo","date":"December 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"These two cereals are officially out. Since we already reviewed them, let us leave you with this Nutter Butter Cereal > Chips Ahoy Cereal. (Spotted by Bob K and Michael F at Walmart.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Post-Chips-Ahoy-Cereal-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Post-Chips-Ahoy-Cereal-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Post-Chips-Ahoy-Cereal-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":28205,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/04\/11\/fast-food-news-krispy-kreme-nutter-butter-twist-and-chips-ahoy-cookie-doughnuts\/","url_meta":{"origin":281,"position":3},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Krispy Kreme Nutter Butter Twist and Chips Ahoy Cookie Doughnuts","author":"Marvo","date":"April 11, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"It appears Nutter Butter and Chips Ahoy are taking a \"Don't Forget About Us\" tour this year, since Oreo seems to get all the attention. It began with Chips Ahoy and Nutter Butter cereals, and the next tour stop is at Krispy Kreme where there are new doughnuts that feature\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Krispy-Kreme-Nutter-Butter-Twist-and-Chips-Ahoy-Cookie-Doughnuts.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Krispy-Kreme-Nutter-Butter-Twist-and-Chips-Ahoy-Cookie-Doughnuts.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Krispy-Kreme-Nutter-Butter-Twist-and-Chips-Ahoy-Cookie-Doughnuts.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11415,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/28\/news-more-chips-ahoy-varieties-ahoy\/","url_meta":{"origin":281,"position":4},"title":"NEWS: More Chips Ahoy! Varieties Ahoy!","author":"Marvo","date":"February 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Two new Chips Ahoy! varieties will be hitting store shelves soon -- Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey Caramel and Chewy Chips Ahoy! Made With Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey Caramel is similar to the tasty Chips Ahoy! Chewy Gooey cookies we reviewed in 2011. Except instead of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_1282","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7224\/7169843590_517d798d22.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18572,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/06\/01\/fast-food-news-dunkin-donuts-chips-ahoy-donuts-coolatta-and-iced-coffee\/","url_meta":{"origin":281,"position":5},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Dunkin’ Donuts Chips Ahoy! Donuts, Coolatta, and Iced Coffee","author":"Marvo","date":"June 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Chips Ahoy! is the Jan Brady of Nabisco cookies and, of course, Oreo is the Marcia Brady. While Oreo has been used in numerous shakes, snacks, and desserts, the crunchy chocolate chip cookie hasn't seen as much love. But Dunkin' Donuts is showing a little love with a line of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dunkin Donuts Chips Ahoy Donuts","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Dunkin-Donuts-Chips-Ahoy-Donuts.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Dunkin-Donuts-Chips-Ahoy-Donuts.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Dunkin-Donuts-Chips-Ahoy-Donuts.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=281"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}