{"id":284,"date":"2005-09-21T10:36:28","date_gmt":"2005-09-21T20:36:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/09\/21\/monster-energy-xxl\/"},"modified":"2019-03-13T20:22:42","modified_gmt":"2019-03-14T06:22:42","slug":"monster-energy-xxl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/09\/21\/monster-energy-xxl\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Monster Energy XXL"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

After I quickly chugged down all 23.5 ounces of Monster Energy XXL shotgun-style, I was afraid with all the caffeine in my body, I was going to do something rash, like wrestle a bear, tackle a homeless person, watch Taradise<\/i><\/a> on the E! Channel, or become a Scientologist<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Fortunately, none of that happened, but I was totally wired. Although not as wired as that time I took two Vivarin to pull an all-nighter to study for my Japanese 202 final, which caused my hands to shake constantly through the entire exam. <\/p>\n

And let me tell you, it isn’t easy writing complicated kanji<\/a> characters when my hands are shaking like I’m trying to disarm a bomb or unhook a woman’s bra for the first time.<\/p>\n

With the complex art of kanji writing, one mess up could mean the difference between writing, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think you have nice eyes,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think your eyebrows look like furry minks ready to mate.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Anyway, I possibly had unhealthy amounts caffeine, taurine, and guarana flowing through my bloodstream and I felt like a kid with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder<\/a> who forgot to take his Ritalin.<\/p>\n

I wasn’t shaking, but I was restless and needed to find something to do to help burn off that energy at 10 o’clock at night. At that point, I wished I had a Playstation 2, a girlfriend, or a bear to wrestle. <\/p>\n

In my ADHD state, I cleaned my bathroom, watched an episode of Robot Chicken<\/a>, separated my socks by pairs, arranged by boxers by color, ironed my t-shirts, and arranged my Playboy magazine collection by blondes, brunettes, and redhead Playmates.<\/p>\n

However, despite doing all of that, I didn’t end up going to sleep until three in the morning.<\/p>\n

As for the Monster Energy Drink itself, it’s the Impulsive Buy’s favorite energy drink ever, because is doesn’t have that typical medicine-like taste that other energy drinks have and it’s pretty sweet.<\/p>\n

A regular can of Monster Energy is 16 ounces, but the Monster Energy XXL is 23.5 ounces. Of course, this means 7.5 more ounces of caffeine, taurine, guarana, goodness.<\/p>\n

Yes, the can is impressive, but I think some of you may be more impressed with the fact that the Monster Energy XXL can would make an excellent bong.<\/p>\n

But then again, what wouldn’t make an excellent bong?<\/p>\n

(Editor’s Note: For more energy drink reviews go visit Jason and Angie at screamingenergy.com<\/a>.)<\/small><\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Monster Energy XXL
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $2.79
\nRating:<\/b> 9 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Excellent flavor. 23.5 ounces of Monster goodness. Aluminum can might make for a great bong.
\nCons:<\/b> Hard to sleep after drinking entire can after 10 pm. Writing kanji with shaky hands. Wrestling with bears.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After I quickly chugged down all 23.5 ounces of Monster Energy XXL shotgun-style, I was afraid with all the caffeine in my body, I was going to do something rash, like wrestle a bear, tackle a homeless person, watch Taradise on the E! Channel, or become a Scientologist. Fortunately, none of that happened, but I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1545,1530,1581],"class_list":["post-284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-beverage","tag-energy-drink","tag-monster-energy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":56379,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/05\/29\/java-monster-cafe-latte-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":284,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Java Monster Cafe Latte","author":"Marvo","date":"May 29, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Java Monster\u2019s new Caf\u00e9 Latte doesn\u2019t taste new to me because the moment the liquid hit my taste buds, I felt it was a canned coffee energy drink I\u2019d had before. 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