![\"\"](\"\/images\/stooples.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
OHHHH! <\/p>\n
Oh yeah, baby!<\/p>\n
OHHHH! OHHHH! YES!<\/p>\n
Versatile Office Nipple Clips! That’s what I’m talking about!<\/p>\n
OHHHH! OHHHH! OHHHH!<\/p>\n
Me likey! Me likey!<\/p>\n
OHHHH! OHHHH! OHHHH! YES! YES! OHHHHHHHHHH!<\/p>\n
Me love you long time!<\/p>\n
W-w-what? I’m sorry. I was having a quasi-product review blog editor’s wet dream. I get them after looking through product catalogs and finding a bunch of stuff I’d like to review. This time I was looking through Stooples: Office Tools for Hopeless Fools, a parody on office supply catalogs.<\/p>\n
Office supply catalogs to a quasi-product review blog editor are like stolen Victoria’s Secret catalogs to creepy lonely men and Russian mail order bride catalogs to creepy old lonely men. We love looking through them, letting our imaginations run wild, and occasionally getting pages of a catalog stuck together.<\/p>\n
Although, now that I think about it, here at the Impulsive Buy we hardly ever review office supplies and equipment. I believe we don’t review them because they’re kind of boring. Except for staple removers, which make decent S&M toys.<\/p>\n
However, the selection in Stooples included many items that would easily cause any quasi-product review blog editor to cream in their pants. Some of my favorites included:<\/p>\n
The Pen That Is Mightier Than the Sword for 49 cents<\/b><\/p>\n \nDescription from Stooples: Now you can test this adage for yourself. Charge into battle wailing and flailing your pen against master swordsmen, knife-wielding psychos, manicurists with attitude and others armed with sharp weaponry. Not enough of a challenge? Take on Bloods and Crips, Peruvian rebel bases and Libya. Still not enough of a challenge? How ’bout I beat you upside the head with this book.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Versatile Office Nipple Clips for 39 cents<\/b><\/p>\n \nDescription from Stooples: Many steel-tempered, nickel-plated binder clips are good for either gripping reports or clamping nipples, but never both. Until now. Our rectangular design holds paper, nipples, with equal efficiency and optimum compression. Durable grasp doesn’t weaken over time or tugging. Option: you may remove arms for permanent binding, but think carefully.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Typo Whip for $29.99<\/b><\/p>\n \nDescription from Stooples: Teach your secretary the value of proofreading. Woven strands of correction tape form foot-long whip; allow on-the-spot disciplinary action for forgetting to spell-check. Punish letter-dropping, reverse wording and too much spacing. Horsewhip or cat-o’-nine tails.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n