![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/g33kb33r.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nAww shit! Bawls Guarana G33K B33R is here.
\nRaise your bumped glass bottle and cheer.
\nIf you’re with a friend, make your bottles clink.
\nIt takes a real geek to handle this drink.<\/p>\n
[Interlude 1]<\/b>
\nHow do you know if you’re a real geek? Well here’s a little test.
\nLet’s see if you answer any of the questions with a “yes.”<\/i><\/p>\n
Do you talk trash to 12-year-olds while in Halo combat?
\nCan you recite Jabba the Hutt’s lines at a drop of a hat?
\nDo you open up MS-DOS on a 486 to reminisce?
\nDoes construction with Legos give you orgasmic bliss?
\nDo you have every episode of BattleBots on VHS tapes?
\nDoes your closet contain Batman’s utility belt and cape?
\nDoes your computer case glow with colored LED lights?
\nDo you download shit thru BitTorrent by the gigabytes?
\nDo you subscribe and read Slashdot’s RSS feed?
\nDo you dress up in cosplay before you do the deed?<\/p>\n
[Interlude 2]<\/b>
\nYou don’t do any of those things? Shhhhiiiit.
\nWell here are a few others G33K B33R is meant for.<\/i><\/p>\n
Does the name “Caprica” make your naughty parts tingle?
\nCan you play on your wind instrument the X-Files jingle?
\nWhen you roll, do you only do it with a 12-sided die?
\nDid the trailer for the G.I. Joe movie make you cry?
\nDo you get hard playing Risk when you takeover lands?
\nCan you display the Vulcan salute with both hands?
\nIn Borders, do you flip through books with dragons on the cover?
\nDid someone break up with you because you’re a WoW lover?
\nDo you call the Lord of the Rings toys on your shelf figurines?
\nDoes Lara Croft sometimes end up in your wet dreams?<\/p>\n
[Interlude 3]<\/b>
\nNothing?
\nWell then, maybe G33K B33R isn’t for you.
\nSo here’s what you’re missing.<\/i><\/p>\n
The caffeine in Bawls G33K B33R makes it like root beer on ‘roid
\nI like this tasty beverage as much as Michael Jackson loves little boys.
\nIt gives me a kick but not as hard as other energy drinks I’ve tried.
\nThe high fructose corn syrup it contains makes me sad inside.
\nIts low carbonation makes it easy to drink and doesn’t tickle my ‘stache.
\nBawls Guarana G33K B33R makes cheap root beers taste like ass.
\nIt’s got a little bite, but no bitterness from the guarana can be found.
\nCuz it’s only ten ounces I can’t pour one out when a homie goes down.<\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 35 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams potassium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 36 grams of sugar and 0 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Bawls G33K B33R
\nPrice:<\/b> FREE
\nSize:<\/b> 10 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Sent by Twitter pal Jokeyhaha
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Tasty root beer flavor. Low carbonation makes it easy to drink and doesn’t tickle my ‘stache. No bitterness from guarana. Bottle looks like a sex toy. Trailer for G.I. Joe movie. BattleBots.
\nCons:<\/b> Didn’t give me a kick as hard as other energy drinks. Contains only 10 ounces. High fructose corn syrup. Bottle looks like a sex toy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Aww shit! Bawls Guarana G33K B33R is here. Raise your bumped glass bottle and cheer. If you’re with a friend, make your bottles clink. It takes a real geek to handle this drink. [Interlude 1] How do you know if you’re a real geek? Well here’s a little test. Let’s see if you answer any […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1545,1530],"class_list":["post-3033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-beverage","tag-energy-drink"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/06\/23\/x-it-strong-mints-with-guarana\/","url_meta":{"origin":3033,"position":0},"title":"X-It Strong Mints with Guarana","author":"Marvo","date":"June 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day Four of Energy Week here at The Impulsive Buy and today I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be focusing my attention on energy breath mints. Yes, energy breath mints, which look like smaller Vivarin, except without near illegal amounts of caffeine, withdrawals, and trembling of hands. Enjoy.) Hey baby doll! How\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3217,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/04\/23\/news-arizona-all-city-nrg-brings-back-disturbing-memories-of-airbrushed-overalls\/","url_meta":{"origin":3033,"position":1},"title":"NEWS: Arizona All City NRG Brings Back Disturbing Memories of Airbrushed Overalls","author":"Marvo","date":"April 23, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"No matter how cool the limited edition subway series cans that contain the Arizona All City NRG look, I can't help but feel some trepidation about them. Not only do they bring back the upsetting memories I have of airbrushed clothing, they also make me feel like I'm in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":284,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/09\/21\/monster-energy-xxl\/","url_meta":{"origin":3033,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Monster Energy XXL","author":"Marvo","date":"September 21, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"After I quickly chugged down all 23.5 ounces of Monster Energy XXL shotgun-style, I was afraid with all the caffeine in my body, I was going to do something rash, like wrestle a bear, tackle a homeless person, watch Taradise on the E! Channel, or become a Scientologist. 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Sure, it's got the usual ginseng, guarana, and taurine found in other energy drinks, but the reconstituted tomato juice concentrate mixed with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/09\/28\/sobe-adrenaline-rush\/","url_meta":{"origin":3033,"position":4},"title":"Sobe Adrenaline Rush","author":"Marvo","date":"September 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Must finish review. Must not have two straight days without a review. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sooo tired. Need caffeine. Where\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Jolt Cola when you need it? Must settle for the 79 milligrams of caffeine in the Sobe Adrenaline Rush. What the hell is Taurine, D-Ribose, L-Carnitine, Inositol, Guarana, and Panax Ginseng? 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