![\"\"](\"\/images\/sparks.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“Don’t worry, Jen. I’ll make you forget Brad and Vince with my tender lips. Get out of the way Ron Livingston! You’re ruining the moment.”<\/p>\n
After drinking the entire 16-ounce can of the Sparks alcohol energy drink, it was like romantic sparks were flying everywhere. <\/p>\n
For some reason, probably because of my low alcohol tolerance, I wanted to make out with every inanimate object in my apartment, including Jennifer Aniston on my computer monitor while watching the movie Office Space<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Heck, my body pillow looked hot in its long red pillow case, sort of like Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?<\/i>; my refrigerator looked like a really pale, big boned hottie; and the mop the in closet looked like Nicole Richie.<\/p>\n
Also, if you know how much I love the curves of Method<\/a> product<\/a> bottles<\/a>, I just wanted to let you know that loved them a little bit more after drinking Sparks.<\/p>\n It was a long night thanks to the caffeine, taurine, guarana, and siberian ginseng blend in the can of Sparks, which kept me up. I continued hitting on other inanimate things in my apartment, like the recliner in the living room, the dish rack in the kitchen, and empty toilet paper rolls in the bathroom.<\/p>\n Sparks had a nice citrus taste, which reminded me of most energy drinks mixed with vodka, except a whole lot sweeter. <\/p>\n It was easy to drink, but as it got warmer it became less easy. It was also definitely better tasting than the B to the E I tried last year<\/a>.<\/p>\n Sparks calls itself a “premium malt beverage,” but usually when I think of “premium malt beverage” I think of Billy Dee Williams<\/a> and Colt 45<\/a>.<\/p>\n The can of Sparks I drank not only made inanimate objects look sexy, it also made me redder than a high school student who accidently farted loudly while taking the SAT exam, but I blame my Japanese blood for that.<\/p>\n The next morning, after waking up with my toaster next to me, I came to the realization that I would probably drink Sparks at a bar or club, if they had them, but I don’t know if I would drink them at home anymore, because I don’t like cleaning the smears on my computer monitor.<\/p>\n Item:<\/b> Sparks “Don’t worry, Jen. I’ll make you forget Brad and Vince with my tender lips. Get out of the way Ron Livingston! You’re ruining the moment.” After drinking the entire 16-ounce can of the Sparks alcohol energy drink, it was like romantic sparks were flying everywhere. For some reason, probably because of my low alcohol tolerance, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1613],"class_list":["post-341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-alcohol"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5435,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/12\/17\/review-joose-mamba-joose\/","url_meta":{"origin":341,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Joose Mamba JOOSE","author":"Kayla","date":"December 17, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in the day when young adults in the suburbs wanted to be rebels, they would pay their local hobo to pick them up a six-pack of wine coolers or a bottle of Boone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Farm. 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I was always more of a Trix guy growing up. I can't say why, exactly. Maybe it was my sympathy for the Trix rabbit, or maybe it was because I never really understood the appeal of Toucan Sam.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Froot Loops Cereal Straws","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/c4.staticflickr.com\/3\/2556\/3975881163_dd5d044428_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/c4.staticflickr.com\/3\/2556\/3975881163_dd5d044428_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/c4.staticflickr.com\/3\/2556\/3975881163_dd5d044428_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":52200,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/07\/21\/spotted-trix-silly-rabbit-turned-milk-pink-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":341,"position":5},"title":"SPOTTED: Trix Silly Rabbit Turned Milk Pink Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"July 21, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I'd like to know what would happen if someone poured a bowl of cereal that combined this cereal with the Apple Jack Nickelodeon Slime Cereal. Does it turn brown? (Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/trixpink.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=341"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/341\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"\/images\/sparks02_sm.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> FREE (16-ounces)
\nPurchased At:<\/b> Received from roommate.
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Good sweet citrus taste. Big 16-ounce can. Sweet, sweet caffeine. Jessica Rabbit. The movie Office Space<\/i>.
\nCons:<\/b> Maybe too sweet for some. For me, it makes everything look hot, due to my low alcohol tolerance. Cleaning smears on my computer monitor. Empty toilet paper roll love. Farting loudly while taking the SAT exam.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"