{"id":363,"date":"2006-05-25T20:15:38","date_gmt":"2006-05-26T06:15:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/05\/25\/363\/"},"modified":"2023-09-05T16:32:30","modified_gmt":"2023-09-06T02:32:30","slug":"gotarts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/05\/25\/gotarts\/","title":{"rendered":"Kellogg&#8217;s Frosted Strawberry Go-Tarts!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" align=\"center\" src=\"\/images\/gotarts.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>How could you be so politically incorrect, Kellogg&#8217;s?  How could you call a product Kellogg&#8217;s Frosted Strawberry Go-Tards?<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t see Post or General Mills pulling this kind of stuff. <\/p>\n<p>Actually, it&#8217;s something I should&#8217;ve expected from you, Kellogg&#8217;s, after all you do have Honey Smacks, which has a frog that suggests I dig &#8217;em.  I don&#8217;t know about you, but a cereal that encourages me to smack some honeys sounds like a very misogynous cereal.<\/p>\n<p>How can you make fun of the mentally challenged?  Each day these people make contributions to society just like the rest of us.  Sure, they don&#8217;t make contributions that involve feeding the hungry, offering shelter to the homeless, or whatever Angelina Jolie does in third world countries and what they do may seem very odd to the rest of us, but they are people just like you and me.<\/p>\n<p>The mentally challenged fill all kind of roles in society, like crocodile hunters, reality television stars, bear wrestlers, naked beekeepers, and all D-List celebrities.<\/p>\n<p>Also, there&#8217;s magician David Blaine.  Actually, I didn&#8217;t want to add the &#8220;magician&#8221; to his name, because in reality he doesn&#8217;t do any amazing feats of &#8220;magic.&#8221;  <\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"http:\/\/rcm.amazon.com\/e\/cm?t=theimpulsivbu-20&#038;o=1&#038;p=8&#038;l=as1&#038;asins=B000G34B2E&#038;fc1=000000&#038;IS2=1&#038;lt1=_blank&#038;lc1=0000FF&#038;bc1=000000&#038;bg1=FFFFFF&#038;f=ifr\" style=\"float:left;padding-right:10px;width:120px;height:240px;\" scrolling=\"no\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" frameborder=\"0\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>All he does is spend large amounts of time in shapes, like a box suspended in air, a block of ice, and a sphere of water.  Unfortunately for him, being mentally challenged doesn&#8217;t allow him to realize that there are people every day who spend hours in high-rise boxes.  They&#8217;re called office cubicle workers.<\/p>\n<p>Just because they play with members of the animal kingdom that could possibly kill them, eat bugs for television, do &#8220;magic&#8221; tricks, or star in movies that get shown on HBO at 2 a.m., doesn&#8217;t give you the right to call them Tards, Kellogg&#8217;s.<\/p>\n<p>If there&#8217;s anything that&#8217;s reTARDed, it&#8217;s the fact that your Go-Tards can&#8217;t be toasted or put in the microwave.  They look like Snickers-sized toaster pastries, so they deserved to be put in the toaster.  They are filled with strawberry filling goodness and my years of eating toaster pastries has taught me that strawberry filling goodness is much better if it&#8217;s warm.<\/p>\n<p>Sure I would&#8217;ve preferred to have been able to toast them, but the Kellogg&#8217;s Frosted Strawberry Go-Tards were decent.  They were pretty moist and I think they would make for a good snack.  I also think they would be ideal to use as a distraction for the mentally challenged, so that you don&#8217;t have to deal with their mentally challenge-ness.<\/p>\n<p>Oh wait&#8230;It&#8217;s not Go-Tards.  It&#8217;s Go-TARTS.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sorry Kellogg&#8217;s.<\/p>\n<p>My bad.  I guess I might be mentally challenged too.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><b>Item:<\/b>  Kellogg&#8217;s Frosted Strawberry Go-Tarts!<br \/>\n<b>Price:<\/b>  $4.00 (10 per box)<br \/>\n<b>Purchased at:<\/b>  Safeway<br \/>\n<b>Rating:<\/b>  3 out of 5<br \/>\n<b>Pros:<\/b>  Good, but not mind blowing good.  Snickers-sized bars.  10 bars per box.  Strawberry filling goodness.  Might be useful as a distraction for mentally challenged people.<br \/>\n<b>Cons:<\/b>  Can&#8217;t toast them.  Can&#8217;t microwave them.  My inability to read.  Confusing Go-Tards with Go-Tarts.  The misogynous cereal, Honey Smacks.  David Blaine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How could you be so politically incorrect, Kellogg&#8217;s? How could you call a product Kellogg&#8217;s Frosted Strawberry Go-Tards? You don&#8217;t see Post or General Mills pulling this kind of stuff. Actually, it&#8217;s something I should&#8217;ve expected from you, Kellogg&#8217;s, after all you do have Honey Smacks, which has a frog that suggests I dig &#8217;em. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1473,1495],"class_list":["post-363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-kelloggs","tag-pop-tarts"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17920,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/01\/02\/spotted-on-shelves-kelloggs-limited-edition-frosted-chocolatey-strawberry-pop-tarts\/","url_meta":{"origin":363,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Kellogg&#8217;s Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tarts","author":"Marvo","date":"January 2, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Want to do something romantic on Valentine's Day for your lover? Gently stroke your lover's body with a Kellogg's Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tart and then feed it to your lover. And if you want to really heat things up in the bedroom, toast the Pop-Tart beforehand. (Spotted by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Kellogg's Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tarts","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7476\/15985848719_8a83d509b5_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7476\/15985848719_8a83d509b5_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7476\/15985848719_8a83d509b5_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17866,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/12\/15\/review-kelloggs-pop-tarts-gone-nutty-frosted-pb-j-strawberry\/","url_meta":{"origin":363,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Kellogg&#8217;s Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty Frosted PB &#038; J Strawberry","author":"Margaret","date":"December 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"It started out so innocently. Because doesn\u2019t it always? I want something simple, but get carried away. A search for a song and I buy the album. A hankering for a show leads to the no-sleep Netflix dive. A pondering of a Christmas party and suddenly I\u2019m considering the 3-foot\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Kellogg's Pop-Tarts Gone Nutty Frosted PB & J Strawberry","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7481\/15404633133_f71b04c626_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9354,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/05\/16\/news-kelloggs-releases-two-non-ice-cream-related-pop-tarts-flavors\/","url_meta":{"origin":363,"position":2},"title":"NEWS: Kellogg&#8217;s Releases Two Non-Ice Cream Related Pop-Tarts Flavors","author":"Marvo","date":"May 16, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"If Kellogg's ever stops releasing new Pop-Tarts, I will be upset. I will get down on my knees, raise my hands towards the sky, let tears fall from my cheeks, and ask a higher power -- the manager at my local supermarket -- \"Why!?!\" It would upset me because Pop-Tarts,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37224,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/06\/10\/spotted-pop-tarts-frosted-cookies-creme-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":363,"position":3},"title":"SPOTTED: Kellogg&#8217;s Pop-Tarts Frosted Cookies &#038; Creme Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"June 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"If Kellogg's is making new Pop-Tarts Cereal flavors, I have a feeling we might see Pop-Tarts Frosted Pumpkin Pie Cereal in a few months. (Spotted by Bob K at Walmart.) Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Pop-Tarts-Frosted-Cookies-Creme-Cereal.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Pop-Tarts-Frosted-Cookies-Creme-Cereal.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Pop-Tarts-Frosted-Cookies-Creme-Cereal.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Pop-Tarts-Frosted-Cookies-Creme-Cereal.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/Pop-Tarts-Frosted-Cookies-Creme-Cereal.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9870,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/08\/01\/news-kelloggs-march-to-pop-tartize-every-dessert-continues-with-frosted-confetti-cake-pop-tarts\/","url_meta":{"origin":363,"position":4},"title":"NEWS: Kellogg&#8217;s March To Pop-Tartize Every Dessert Continues With Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts","author":"Marvo","date":"August 1, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: Click here to read our Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts review With the release of the new Limited Edition Frosted Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts, I now realize Kellogg's has an almost endless supply of desserts they can choose from to create new Pop-Tarts flavors that are poor representations of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts on Shelf","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6209\/6148450699_f0d0f86799.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17977,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/01\/22\/review-kelloggs-limited-edition-frosted-chocolatey-strawberry-pop-tarts\/","url_meta":{"origin":363,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Kellogg&#8217;s Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tarts","author":"Margaret","date":"January 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"January. The month of Gore-Tex. The 31 sun-deprived days of fleece, down comforters, knee-length socks, and long underwear pulled up so high, not even Grandpa Joe could compete with your mid-weight, merino-wool-studded rump. So it goes that, when in my apartment, I turn on as many other easy-to-use electronic devices\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Kellogg's Limited Edition Frosted Chocolatey Strawberry Pop-Tarts","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7488\/16342341652_748e50302d_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/363","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=363"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/363\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}