![\"\"](\"\/images\/hellokittypoptarts.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nHello Kitty is a whore!<\/p>\n
Seriously, who would allow themselves to have their likeness on every possible conceivable product. <\/p>\n
Some of you might say, “Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth, so she can’t say yes or no to what products she wants to endorse.”<\/p>\n
My answer to that would be, “Well, Hello Kitty has a head, which she can use to nod for, “Yes, I really like the idea of a Hello Kitty sleeping bag,” or she can shake her in disagreement for, “No, I don’t want my face on a bowl of Hello Kitty dried ramen.”<\/p>\n
Or if Hello Kitty REALLY didn’t want to have her likeness on something, she could throw her many bows at her agent or manager, which would instantly let that person know that, “NO! I don’t want my face to be on a Hello Kitty vibrator.”<\/p>\n
But just like Kate Moss with cocaine, she just can’t say no, and that’s why I think Hello Kitty is a whore. Hello Kitty is like Martha Stewart, who has hundreds of products with her name on it. However, Hello Kitty is a hundred times worse. Martha doesn’t have a Martha Stewart MP3 player, but Hello Kitty does. Martha also doesn’t have a Martha Stewart rice cooker, but Hello Kitty does. Any Martha Stewart video games? No, but Hello Kitty has video games.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I wrote a song about Hello Kitty’s whoreness called, “Hello Kitty is Everywhere.”<\/p>\n
\nIf your Hello Kitty alarm clock is annoyingly way too loud.
\nPut in a pair of Hello Kitty earplugs to drown out the sound.
\nIf the earplugs don’t work, put a Hello Kitty pillow over your head.
\nMaybe next time you should use a Hello Kitty clock radio instead.<\/p>\n
You can eat cereal with a Hello Kitty bowl and spoon.
\nWhile you wait for your Hello Kitty coffee maker, you watch cartoons.
\nYour Hello Kitty toaster has inside two slices of bread.
\nThe butter is ready with a Hello Kitty knife to be spread.<\/p>\n
Hello Kitty is everywhere,
\nGirls think it’s pretty, but boys don’t care.
\nTurning products pink and cute.
\nGirls think it’s sweet, but makes boys puke.<\/p>\n
Watching Cartoon Network on your Hello Kitty TV\/DVD combo set.
\nUsing your Hello Kitty keyboard and mouse, while you surf the internet.
\nLooking for the Hilary Duff album in your 20-count Hello Kitty CD case.
\nYou grab a Kleenex from your Hello Kitty tissue holder to wipe your face.<\/p>\n
It’s hot, but you use your Hello Kitty electric fan to keep the heat away.
\nYou have water with ice from your Hello Kitty shaped ice cube tray.
\nYou call people on your Hello Kitty cell phone to find out what’s up.
\nYour throat is dry, so you take a drink from your Hello Kitty cup.<\/p>\n
Hello Kitty is everywhere,
\nGirls think it’s pretty, but boys don’t care.
\nTurning products pink and cute.
\nGirls think it’s sweet, but makes boys puke.<\/p>\n
You ate too much so you have to lift your Hello Kitty toilet lid.
\nThank goodness you bought Hello Kitty toilet paper when you did.
\nYour Hello Kitty air freshener will keep things from smelling bad.
\nThe soap from the Hello Kitty soap dispenser smells really rad.<\/p>\n
You slip on your Hello Kitty socks, shorts, shirt, sandals, and thong. Hello Kitty is everywhere, It’s night time and you’re bowling and drinking Hello Kitty champagne. Hours later you’re in the shower behind a Hello Kitty shower curtain. (Editor’s Note: If you don’t believe that all these Hello Kitty items exist, go check out Dream Kitty<\/a> and J-List<\/a>.)<\/small><\/p>\n I personally wished that Hello Kitty threw some bows at someone when they were deciding to come out with these Hello Kitty Meow-Berry Pop-Tarts, because there’s nothing really special about them. They were good, but they were basically regular Wild Berry Pop-Tarts, except with pink frosting and girly-girly sprinkles on top, which come in the shapes of flowers, bows, and Hello Kitty heads.<\/p>\n But I guess the pink frosting and girly-girly sprinkles are enough for a little girl or extremely effeminate little boy to ask you to buy a box for them. They can’t resist the cute innocent face of Hello Kitty on the box and you’ll buy a box for them because probably deep down you can’t resist Hello Kitty’s innocent face too…Or you just don’t want to deal with your kids constant nagging.<\/p>\n Anyway, these Pop-Tarts were as sweet as Hello Kitty herself. But then again, all Pop-Tarts are as sweet as Hello Kitty.<\/p>\n Item:<\/b> Hello Kitty Meow-Berry Pop-Tarts Hello Kitty is a whore! Seriously, who would allow themselves to have their likeness on every possible conceivable product. Some of you might say, “Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth, so she can’t say yes or no to what products she wants to endorse.” My answer to that would be, “Well, Hello Kitty has a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1624,1473,1495],"class_list":["post-379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-hello-kitty","tag-kelloggs","tag-pop-tarts"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2399,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/02\/19\/review-hello-kitty-rice-seasoning-mix\/","url_meta":{"origin":379,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Hello Kitty Rice Seasoning Mix","author":"Marvo","date":"February 19, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Death by Hello Kitty is not how I hope to leave this Earth, but the Hello Kitty Rice Seasoning Mix has the power to make it happen with its 2,739 milligrams of sodium per package. 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Length - 1 min. 38 sec.","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Subscribe English","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/Subscribe_English.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18693,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/06\/24\/review-hello-kitty-ice-cream-cake\/","url_meta":{"origin":379,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Hello Kitty Ice Cream Cake","author":"Marvo","date":"June 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I know it's hard to resist this Hello Kitty Ice Cream Cake. 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\nJust incase it rains, your Hello Kitty umbrella should be taken along.
\nYou put on your Hello Kitty sunglasses to protect yourself from UV rays.
\nThe Hello Kitty glitter sunscreen<\/a> you put on will do the same.<\/p>\n
\nGirls think it’s pretty, but boys don’t care.
\nTurning products pink and cute.
\nGirls think it’s sweet, but makes boys puke.<\/p>\n
\nThrowing gutterballs with your Hello Kitty bowling ball, you suck at this game.
\nBy the end of the night, you’re throwing up in your Hello Kitty garbage can.
\nYou pass out in the kitchen because you love the cold feeling of your Hello Kitty pan.<\/p>\n
\nYou dry yourself off with your Hello Kitty towel set, even though you’re hurtin’.
\nYou jump into your Hello Kitty pajamas and under the Hello Kitty comforter on your bed.
\nDreams of Hello Kitty circling around your soon-to-be hungover head.<\/i><\/p>\n
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.99 (12-pack)
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Don Quijote
\nRating:<\/b> 6 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> As sweet as Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty’s cute innocent face. It’s a 12-pack. Your little girl or extremely effeminate little boy will love you if you buy them. Perfect if you like excessive amounts of pink.
\nCons:<\/b> Hello Kitty has no mouth. Hello Kitty is a whore, selling her likeness to anyone who will show her the money. Nothing really special, they taste like regular Wild Berry Pop-Tarts. Your little girl or extremely effeminate little boy will hate you if you don’t buy them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"