{"id":380,"date":"2006-07-19T23:00:56","date_gmt":"2006-07-20T09:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/07\/19\/tostitos-multigrain\/"},"modified":"2023-08-29T17:41:05","modified_gmt":"2023-08-30T03:41:05","slug":"tostitos-multigrain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/07\/19\/tostitos-multigrain\/","title":{"rendered":"Tostitos Multigrain"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

If I needed to be saved from a burning building, car accident, David Hasselhoff music video<\/a>, or a greasy Richard Simmons hug, I wouldn’t want these Tostitos Multigrain chips to rescue me. <\/p>\n

The reason why is because they are weak, like Pete Doherty’s<\/a> will power around heroin or Britney Spears’ parenting abilities. I may have a hard time opening a bottle of salsa without help from a towel or a much stronger eight year old girl, but these Tostitos Multigrain chips are so weak that they cracked every time I tried to scoop up some salsa with them. <\/p>\n

If they can’t pick up salsa, how are they going to save me if I needed to rescued from a shark, bear, snake, wolf, tyrannosaurus rex, vampire, Tim Allen<\/a> movie, Decepticon, black hole, or MySpace sexual predator?<\/p>\n

Sure, the Tostitos Multigrain has “four wholesome grains,” corn, oat, buckwheat, and wheat, but how can I truly enjoy them if they keep breaking down in chunky salsa and I have to worry about the part of the chip that buried in salsa? <\/p>\n

I could use another chip to dig out the buried chip, but these Tostitos Multigrain chips are so fragile and weak that the next chip would probably break, causing a path towards the Zsa Zsa Gabor<\/a> Marriage Effect, which involves many, many failures before finally succeeding.<\/p>\n

Despite the “four wholesome grains,” the Tostitos Multigrain are not healthier than regular Tostitos. It’s much like how Britney’s black hair<\/a> doesn’t make her less trailer trash.<\/p>\n

The combination of the “four wholesome grains” also gave the chips a darker appearance, a kind of healthy nutty taste, and a crunch that’s slightly not as crunchy as regular Tostitos. They taste okay, but if the “four wholesome grains” don’t make them any healthier, I don’t think I would buy them again, like I would for the okay-tasting, but significantly healthier Baked Lays.<\/p>\n

So if you happen to be kidnapped by some shady guy in a black suit with a pointy mustache, tied up in a huge coil of rope, everything around you is in black and white, you’re placed on train tracks to get run over by an oncoming train, and Tostitos Multigrain comes to try and help you, just eat them, because the only thing they can help is hunger.<\/p>\n

(Editor’s Note: If you’re interested, or love randomness, check out the “Random Review” button in the top navigation bar. Click it and it will magically take you on a journey through all the good reviews, bad reviews, and ugly banana deep-throating reviews. Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader Rylan for the idea.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Tostitos Multigrain
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.99
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 2 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Okay healthy nutty taste. Zero trans fat. Having eight year old girls around to help open jars and bottles. Celebrity references for all ages.
\nCons:<\/b> Tostitos Multigrain is too weak to save lives. Chips break easily while scooping up salsa. The four wholesome grains doesn’t make it any healthier than regular Tostitos. Slightly not as crunchy as regular Tostitos. Britney’s black hair. Being weaker than eight year old girls. Decepticons. ANY David Hasselhoff video.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I needed to be saved from a burning building, car accident, David Hasselhoff music video, or a greasy Richard Simmons hug, I wouldn’t want these Tostitos Multigrain chips to rescue me. The reason why is because they are weak, like Pete Doherty’s will power around heroin or Britney Spears’ parenting abilities. I may have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1474,1594,1475],"class_list":["post-380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-chips","tag-frito-lay","tag-tostitos"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":26924,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/01\/30\/spotted-on-shelves-tostitos-blended-with-multigrain-roasted-red-pepper-and-black-bean-garlic\/","url_meta":{"origin":380,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Tostitos Blended with Multigrain (Roasted Red Pepper and Black Bean & Garlic)","author":"Marvo","date":"January 30, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Multigrain? Check. Fire roasted pepper? Check. Garlic and black bean? Check. So are these chips the reincarnation of Tostitos Artisan Recipes? (Spotted by JoAnna B at Smith's.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Tostitos-Blended-with-Multigrain-Roasted-Red-Pepper-and-Black-Bean-Garlic.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Tostitos-Blended-with-Multigrain-Roasted-Red-Pepper-and-Black-Bean-Garlic.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/Tostitos-Blended-with-Multigrain-Roasted-Red-Pepper-and-Black-Bean-Garlic.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12112,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/05\/03\/news-get-ready-for-more-broken-chips-stuck-in-the-salsa-with-new-tostitos-thins\/","url_meta":{"origin":380,"position":1},"title":"NEWS: Get Ready For More Broken Chips Stuck In The Salsa With New Tostitos Thins","author":"Marvo","date":"May 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"While Frito-Lay was making thicker Doritos and Ruffles, it appears they were also thinning Tostitos. The new Tostitos Thins tortilla chips are not only thinner than regular Tostitos, but they also have a lighter texture. According to the press release, the new chips are, \"made from corn that is stone-ground\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Tostitos logo","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7086\/7140015371_09e017e0ed.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":27111,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/02\/15\/spotted-on-shelves-tostitos-salsa-ranchera-tortilla-chips\/","url_meta":{"origin":380,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Tostitos Salsa Ranchera Tortilla Chips","author":"Marvo","date":"February 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(Spotted by @TheJoshCatlett at Dierbergs.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and \"Spotted\" in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Tostitos-Salsa-Ranchera-Tortilla-Chips.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7922,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2010\/12\/07\/review-tostitos-artisan-recipes-tortilla-chips-fire-roasted-chipotle-and-roasted-garlic-black-bean\/","url_meta":{"origin":380,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Tostitos Artisan Recipes Tortilla Chips (Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic & Black Bean)","author":"Kelley","date":"December 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Poor Tostitos. They're like the pink Corvette of the Barbie world: oh, sure, little girls play with the Corvette all the time, but only when Barbie's having a Thelma & Louise-esque adventure with her best friend Teresa or Barbie, Trichelle, Chandra, and Zahara (what is with these names?) are going\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Tostitos Artisan Recipes Fire-Roasted Chipotle and Roasted Garlic & Black Bean","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.static.flickr.com\/5246\/5233303358_8fec4ed190.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":46169,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2021\/03\/16\/tostitos-habanero-tortilla-chips-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":380,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Tostitos Habanero Tortilla Chips","author":"Sean","date":"March 16, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"What are Tostitos Habanero? Following up on last year's super delicious Hint of Spicy Queso and the just-okay Hint of Guacamole, the latest crispy circle from Tostitos drops the \"Hint\" and brings the heat with habanero-flavored bite-size rounds. How are they? Continuing along the path of Spicy Queso's cheesy footsteps,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Tostitos-Habanero-Tortilla-Chips-Closeup.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Tostitos-Habanero-Tortilla-Chips-Closeup.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Tostitos-Habanero-Tortilla-Chips-Closeup.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Tostitos-Habanero-Tortilla-Chips-Closeup.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Tostitos-Habanero-Tortilla-Chips-Closeup.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8835,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/03\/09\/review-sunchips-jalapeno-jack-flavored-multigrain-snacks\/","url_meta":{"origin":380,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: SunChips Jalapeno Jack Flavored Multigrain Snacks","author":"Kelley","date":"March 9, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"In the large, often nepotistic and incestuous (both words I used to win the 6th grade regional spelling bee) world of Frito-Lay, SunChips is the hippy that chained itself to a tree to prevent loggers from cutting down the local forest. SunChips got pepper-sprayed for protesting animal testing. SunChips likes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"SunChips Jalape\u00f1o Jack Flavored Multigrain Snacks Bag","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.static.flickr.com\/5018\/5511617246_ce88057408.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=380"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}