{"id":402,"date":"2006-10-01T23:09:44","date_gmt":"2006-10-02T09:09:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/10\/01\/the-shopping-cart-3\/"},"modified":"2023-08-14T16:45:11","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T02:45:11","slug":"the-shopping-cart-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/10\/01\/the-shopping-cart-3\/","title":{"rendered":"The Shopping Cart #3"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Shopping Cart takes a look at things that I’ve bought, but am too lazy to write a full review for.<\/p>\n

What I’m Wearing That Shows My Inability To Properly Use Long Hard Things<\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Yes, I don’t know how to use chopsticks, especially those damn long plastic Chinese chopsticks.<\/p>\n

My Japanese ancestors are probably rolling in their graves…Oh wait, they were cremated. Let me rephrase the previous sentence. My Japanese ancestors are probably kicking up ashes in their urns, because I have the chopstick proficiency of a one-year-old in Japan or a nervous, old horny man experiencing nyotaimori<\/a> (Possible NSFW) for the very first time.<\/p>\n

Over the years, I’ve gotten better at eating with chopsticks. As long as I can stab what I’m eating, I won’t starve. But when it comes to eating noodles or rice with chopsticks, I instantly jump on the Atkins low-carb diet.<\/p>\n

I’m ashamed of my chopstick ineptness and have been wearing this recently purchased Threadless<\/a> t-shirt called “Sticks of Shame” like a scarlet letter. The design says something in Japanese, but I can’t read it at all, which in turn is making my Japanese ancestors kick up ashes in their urns again. <\/p>\n

Fortunately, the English translation is printed in small type on the right side. It says, “I can’t use chopsticks. Because of this, MY FACE BURNS WITH SHAME!!!…can I please have fork.” <\/p>\n

I would also settle for a spork.<\/p>\n

Whut’s Bumpin’ In My Totally Un-Pimped Out Japanese Compact Car<\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Aw yeah! Now dats whut I’m talkin’ ’bout, y’all!<\/p>\n

My man, Weird Al is dropping some crazy shit on y’all wit his new joint, “White & Nerdy” from his brand new album, “Straight Outta Lynwood.” Lynwood! Represent! <\/p>\n

It’s a parody of smooth southern rapper Chamillionaire’s<\/a> joint “Ridin’.” Yo, I gots to say dat dis gots to be one of da illest parodies dat, my boy, Weird Al has done. Ya heard!<\/p>\n

Yo, some of y’all might not think dis polka boy gots da skillz to be droppin’ mad rhymes, but yo, check da lyrics, y’all. Check da lyrics.<\/p>\n

I’ve been browsin’, inspectin’
\nX-Men comics, you know I collect ’em
\nThe pens in my pocket, I must protect ’em
\nMy ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
\nShopping online for deals on some writable media
\nI edit Wikipedia
\nI memorized Holy Grail really well
\nI can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL<\/i><\/p>\n

Dang! Dat white boy can drop rhymes, y’all. So if y’all wants to be shakin’ your asses at your next LAN party<\/a>, Dungeons & Dragons gathering, or at da comic book store, go buy dis phat track.<\/p>\n

Da video fo’ “White & Nerdy,” is on YouTube, so go check it out<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Shopping Cart takes a look at things that I’ve bought, but am too lazy to write a full review for. What I’m Wearing That Shows My Inability To Properly Use Long Hard Things Yes, I don’t know how to use chopsticks, especially those damn long plastic Chinese chopsticks. My Japanese ancestors are probably rolling […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":219,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/05\/27\/jack-in-the-box-asian-chicken-salad\/","url_meta":{"origin":402,"position":0},"title":"Jack in the Box Asian Chicken Salad","author":"Marvo","date":"May 27, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the final day of Salad Week here at The Impulsive Buy. It was an interesting week filled drive-thru windows, black plastic bowls with clear plastic covers, way too much iceberg lettuce, and a lot of salad tossing. Today\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s final salad review comes from my favorite fast food\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18067,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/02\/16\/spotted-on-shelves-cheetos-mix-ups-flamin-hot-cheezy-mix\/","url_meta":{"origin":402,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Cheetos Mix-ups Flamin’ Hot & Cheezy Mix","author":"Marvo","date":"February 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It's not Doritos Roulette, but with a blindfold and some chopsticks, you might be able to have some fun with these. (Spotted by Raveen at Walgreens.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Cheetos Mix-ups Flamin' Hot & Cheezy Mix","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7415\/16542308165_40ff36f43e_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":41227,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/12\/05\/spotted-reeses-pieces-shake-break\/","url_meta":{"origin":402,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED: Reese’s Pieces Shake & Break","author":"Marvo","date":"December 5, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I want to hang this and hit it with chopsticks like it's a tiny pinata in order to break it. (Spotted by Robbie at Target.) Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Reeses-Pieces-Shake-Break.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Reeses-Pieces-Shake-Break.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Reeses-Pieces-Shake-Break.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Reeses-Pieces-Shake-Break.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/Reeses-Pieces-Shake-Break.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2385,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/02\/17\/review-ore-ida-steam-n-mash-garlic-seasoned-potatoes\/","url_meta":{"origin":402,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Ore-Ida Steam n’ Mash Garlic Seasoned Potatoes","author":"Marvo","date":"February 17, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Eating mashed potatoes is a rare treat for me. I eat a lot of rice because I'm Asian and I'm afraid if I don't eat enough of it my ancestors' spirits, who were probably rice farmers in Japan, will come and take away my chopsticks and slanted eyes. Of course,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":599,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/04\/23\/panda-express-beijing-beef\/","url_meta":{"origin":402,"position":4},"title":"Panda Express Beijing Beef","author":"Marvo","date":"April 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"If you're not of the Asian persuasion, you might have a hard time determining the differences between all of us Asians. There's Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Taiwanese, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Thai, Filipino and the list goes on. If you have a hard time with the various Asian ethnicities and just lump us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18133,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/03\/02\/spotted-on-shelves-322015\/","url_meta":{"origin":402,"position":5},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 3\/2\/2015","author":"Marvo","date":"March 2, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. If I ate Turkey Hill's All Natural Chocolate Chocolate Chip Ice Cream with chopsticks, that would\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Turkey Hill All Natural Chocolate Chocolate Chips Ice Cream","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8578\/16502603649_1813d69cba_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8578\/16502603649_1813d69cba_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8578\/16502603649_1813d69cba_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=402"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}