![\"\"](\"\/images\/hhmicrowavesingles2_sm.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nOh, you like food? I’m surprised by that because you’re so dainty. No, really. You come in a very small package. You have 210 calories and 4.5 grams of fat? That’s not much at all. You also have 1.5 grams of trans fat? Oh…um. W-w-well, I like my dates to have a “little junk in the trunk.” N-n-no, I’m not saying you have a big ass. I just don’t like women who are anorexic and you’re not. I-I-I’m not saying you’re fat. You’re curvy. No, again, I’m not saying you’re fat. You have a nice shape. No, not like a cow. I think you’re skinny…and pretty. Really pretty. You’re welcome.<\/p>\n
Anyway, so are you spiritual or religious? You’re into Satanism. Wait…the Satanism with or without the chicken sacrifices? With? Um, I can dig that. Oh wait, chicken sacrifices with or without drinking the chicken’s blood? Without? Phew. Thank goodness you’re not one of those chicken blood drinking Satanists, because those people are crazy.<\/p>\n
You do what with the blood? Use the blood to draw pentagrams all over your body and dance naked around the sacrificed chicken to gain immortality and increase your vision? Um, as long as you don’t drink the blood, I don’t find that weird.<\/p>\n
So how would you best describe yourself?<\/p>\n
Salty, quick, and easy? <\/p>\n
You seem like such a nice person that I couldn’t imagine you getting a little salty. But then again, with 580 milligrams of sodium I could possibly see it happening. N-n-no, I’m not calling you short tempered. N-n-no, I don’t want to take this outside. No, I do not want my ass kicked.<\/p>\n
So you say you’re also quick and easy. To be honest, I kind of like that. So it takes only three steps to make you hot and ready to eat. How long does it take you to get hot? Four to six minutes is pretty quick. <\/p>\n
But I’ll never find out how easy you are? Why won’t you let me? I’m a decent looking guy. I’m not sexiest man in my apartment and I live alone, but I think I’m above average. I don’t think I’m a D+. In the eight minutes we’re spending together, I don’t think we can truly learn enough about each other, but if you spend more time with me you would find out that I’m a great guy. I have not been staring at your breasts all this time. I just think the pendant you’re wearing is really nice.<\/p>\n
Time’s up.<\/p>\n
Well it was nice meeting you, Hamburger Helper Cheesy Lasagna Microwave Singles. I thought you were kind of tasty, although I’m not too sure about your small balls of freeze dried ground beef, but they did add some nice flavor. No, I’m not calling you a man with small balls. Your noodles were tender and your cheesy sauce was decent, but I didn’t expect much since I just mixed cheese powder with water. <\/p>\n
Overall, I think things between us went well and I hope we meet again. <\/p>\n
Oh, you didn’t think so? Um, I guess it was nice meeting you then.<\/p>\n
I should do something about my breath? Oh, thanks.<\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Hamburger Helper Cheesy Lasagna Microwave Singles
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.00 (on sale)
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 6 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Good, but not great. Decent cheesy sauce. Easy to make. Kinda quick to make. Four individual pouches. Satanists who don’t drink chicken blood. I’m a decent looking guy.
\nCons:<\/b> Servings are small. A little salty. 1.5 grams of trans fat. Freeze dried ground beef kind of scares me. Satanists who drink chicken blood. Telling a woman they have “junk in the trunk.” Being caught staring at breasts. My breath.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi. My name is Marvo. It’s nice to meet you…um, what does your name tag say? Wow. That’s a really long name you have there, Hamburger Helper Cheesy Lasagna Microwave Singles. That’s an unusual name. N-n-no, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with your name, I just think it’s really cool that you have such […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1671,1690],"class_list":["post-450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-betty-crocker","tag-hamburger-helper"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":72267,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/09\/15\/spotted-hamburger-helper-breafast-hashbrowns-kits-cups\/","url_meta":{"origin":450,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED: Hamburger Helper Breafast Hashbrowns Kits & Cups","author":"Marvo","date":"September 15, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Just add sausage and eggs, but not hamburger to the boxed Hamburger Helper. (Spottod by Tommy and Robbie at Walmart.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and \"Spotted\" in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/hbhbffrhousehb-600x750.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/hbhbffrhousehb-600x750.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/hbhbffrhousehb-600x750.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":36076,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/04\/23\/spotted-hamburger-helper-inspired-by-old-el-paso-southwest-pasta-and-cheesy-fajita\/","url_meta":{"origin":450,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED: Hamburger Helper Inspired by Old El Paso Southwest Pasta and Cheesy Fajita","author":"Marvo","date":"April 23, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"SYNERGY!!! (Spotted by Leila P at Jewel Osco.) Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and \"Spotted\" in the subject line.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Hamburger-Helper-Inspired-by-Old-El-Paso-Southwest-Pasta-and-Cheesy-Fajita.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Hamburger-Helper-Inspired-by-Old-El-Paso-Southwest-Pasta-and-Cheesy-Fajita.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Hamburger-Helper-Inspired-by-Old-El-Paso-Southwest-Pasta-and-Cheesy-Fajita.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Hamburger-Helper-Inspired-by-Old-El-Paso-Southwest-Pasta-and-Cheesy-Fajita.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/Hamburger-Helper-Inspired-by-Old-El-Paso-Southwest-Pasta-and-Cheesy-Fajita.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8374,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/01\/19\/review-betty-crocker-cheeseburger-macaroni-whole-grain-hamburger-helper\/","url_meta":{"origin":450,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Betty Crocker Cheeseburger Macaroni Whole Grain Hamburger Helper","author":"Marvo","date":"January 19, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I tried. I really tried. But, I think it's impossible to overdose on whole grains. I picked up as many products with whole grains as I could, which were all over the place. No, seriously. If I were to piss blindfolded in a grocery store, it's hard not to hit\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Betty Crocker Cheeseburger Macaroni Whole Grain Hamburger Helper","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.static.flickr.com\/5046\/5365315658_f1c629b231.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8192,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/01\/06\/news-whole-grain-helper-doesnt-help-the-fact-youre-still-eating-hamburger-helper\/","url_meta":{"origin":450,"position":3},"title":"NEWS: Whole Grain Helper Doesn’t Help The Fact You’re Still Eating Hamburger Helper","author":"Marvo","date":"January 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Betty Crocker Whole Grain Helper is kind of like spraying Lysol on poop. The Lysol makes the poop smell a little better, but deep down it's still poop. While the whole grain pasta or rice in Whole Grain Helper gives us something nutritionists say we need, but deep down it's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hamburger Helper CLASSIC Cheeseburger Macaroni","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.static.flickr.com\/1374\/5108751801_db721bcfd8.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":72309,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/09\/19\/spotted-hamburger-helper-deluxe-brew-pub-cheeseburger-and-sweet-savory-teriyaki\/","url_meta":{"origin":450,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED: Hamburger Helper Deluxe Brew Pub Cheeseburger and Sweet & Savory Teriyaki","author":"Marvo","date":"September 19, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Lefty has been busy in the Hamburger Helper kitchens. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Kroger.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and \"Spotted\" in the subject line. 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(Spotted by Amanda Y at Kroger.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and \"Spotted\" in the subject line. Also, if you want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/hhbeefpastcup.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/hhbeefpastcup.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/hhbeefpastcup.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/hhbeefpastcup.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/hhbeefpastcup.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=450"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"\"](\"\/images\/hhmicrowavesingles.jpg\")
<\/p>\n