{"id":460,"date":"2007-04-02T00:27:37","date_gmt":"2007-04-02T10:27:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/04\/02\/no-review-today-instead-you-must-settle-for-my-matchcom-profile\/"},"modified":"2007-04-02T06:32:08","modified_gmt":"2007-04-02T16:32:08","slug":"no-review-today-instead-you-must-settle-for-my-matchcom-profile","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/04\/02\/no-review-today-instead-you-must-settle-for-my-matchcom-profile\/","title":{"rendered":"No Review Today.  Instead You Must Settle For My Match.com Profile"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sorry, no review today due to the time spent doing my taxes.  Instead, I decided to post what I wrote for my Match.com profile and embarrass myself by showing my tender, Lifetime Channel side.  Since a bunch of you voted on which online dating service I should try for a future review, I figured I&#8217;d show you guys what I&#8217;ve been up to.  Enjoy.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I have an English degree with an emphasis in creative writing, so there is pressure on me to write a good profile. If I don&#8217;t write a good profile, I&#8217;m afraid my former English professors will come after me and take away my English degree, which took me three years of goofing off and two years of hard C to B- work to earn. <\/p>\n<p>As you might be able to tell from the previous paragraph, I&#8217;m kind of a goofball. Not in the sense that I&#8217;m not serious about things, but I just like to have fun and I like to make people laugh. My sense of humor is my best attribute, because I have nothing else to offer besides that.<\/p>\n<p>Only kidding, there&#8217;s actually a little bit more.<\/p>\n<p>Another one of my personality traits is the willingness to try new things, whether it be restaurants, things off of store shelves, or experiences. As a matter of fact, earlier this year I went snowboarding for the very first time and I&#8217;m glad I did because it was whole lot of fun, despite the fact that I slightly pulled my groin, and now I hope to take a snowboarding trip every year.<\/p>\n<p>However, perhaps the attribute that women will find most appealing about me is my ability to stay patient whenever I go shopping with a woman. I thank my twin sister for teaching me this ability and over the years I have come up with techniques to make shopping with women as fun as possible. My main technique is to find the most hideous item of clothing I can find &#8212; usually in the clearance racks and has multi-colored sequins &#8212; and convince the woman I&#8217;m with to try it on.<\/p>\n<p>Now if you happened to have laughed at anything I wrote in the previous paragraphs, you definitely have the number one thing I look for in a woman &#8212; a sense of humor. Having a sense of humor &#8212; the ability to laugh and\/or make others laugh &#8212; is unbelievably sexy to me, because as I wrote earlier, I love to have fun and to make people laugh.<\/p>\n<p>Another characteristic that I find appealing is intelligence. Not in the sense of remembering complicated chemistry formulas or the ability to do a triple-bypass surgery, but having the desire to experience things, having opinions about topics, and just being someone I can have a good conversation with.<\/p>\n<p>Now I could fill all 4,000 characters for this profile if I really wanted to, but I figure the more characters I leave out, the more I can tell you if we meet.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sorry, no review today due to the time spent doing my taxes. Instead, I decided to post what I wrote for my Match.com profile and embarrass myself by showing my tender, Lifetime Channel side. Since a bunch of you voted on which online dating service I should try for a future review, I figured I&#8217;d [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-460","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":533,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/10\/05\/match-dot-com\/","url_meta":{"origin":460,"position":0},"title":"Match.com","author":"Marvo","date":"October 5, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Bad news: I didn't find true love on Match.com. Good news: I'm still an eligible bachelor...ladies. (Sprays Binaca in mouth and gives a wink) I do a lot of things over the internet, like check the balances in my bank accounts, Google ex-girlfriends, read up on current events on CNN.com,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":531,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/09\/26\/sorry-for-the-lack-of-reviews\/","url_meta":{"origin":460,"position":1},"title":"Sorry for the lack of reviews&#8230;","author":"Marvo","date":"September 26, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"It's been a REALLY busy week for me, so I apologize for not having any reviews this week. No, I don't have a whole bunch of Match.com dates lined up this week. No, I'm not in jail for soliciting a transvestite hooker. No, I'm not a witness in the Britney\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":444,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/02\/05\/online-dating-product-review-poll-yes-you-read-right\/","url_meta":{"origin":460,"position":2},"title":"Online Dating Product Review Poll!!!  Yes, You Read Right!!!","author":"Marvo","date":"February 5, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"My mom always tells me that I should hang out at bookstores to meet a nice, smart girl, but I haven't had any luck, probably because I hang out in the Sex & Relationships section a little too long. Now some of you are probably saying, \"Why not meet someone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32779,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/11\/06\/mcdonalds-triple-breakfast-stack-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":460,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: McDonald&#8217;s Triple Breakfast Stack","author":"Tiffany","date":"November 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you hack your McDonald\u2019s order? I didn\u2019t know hacking at Mickey Dee's was a thing as I usually only think of \u201csecret menus\u201d at places like In-N-Out, Starbucks, and Jamba Juice. But, apparently I\u2019ve been missing out because I\u2019ve only ever combined my Big Breakfast combo into one giant\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/McDonalds-Triple-Breakfast-Stack-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/McDonalds-Triple-Breakfast-Stack-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/McDonalds-Triple-Breakfast-Stack-2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5303,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/11\/30\/review-silk-soymilk-pumpkin-spice\/","url_meta":{"origin":460,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Silk Soymilk Pumpkin Spice","author":"Marvo","date":"November 30, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"With the holiday season comes a plethora of holiday flavors. One of the most popular is pumpkin spice, which is not only a Starbucks Latte variety, available only this time of year, and a limited edition Bath & Body Works scent, it's also a seasonal Silk Soymilk flavor. I believe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15825,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/11\/26\/review-wendys-bacon-portabella-melt-on-brioche\/","url_meta":{"origin":460,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Wendy\u2019s Bacon Portabella Melt on Brioche","author":"Jeff","date":"November 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I believe a burger is as good as its bun and vice versa. I've had the unfortunate experience of eating a juicy medium-rare, perfectly seasoned hamburger that was ruined because it was on a dry, whole grain, toasted English muffin. And I've eaten a dried out, over-cooked burger on a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Wendy's Bacon Portabella Melt on Brioche","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3828\/11075347323_27e5bd1ed6.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=460"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}