![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/04\/Hot-Chocolate-Pop-Tarts.jpg?resize=550%2C832\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
In college, my nickname was “Hot Chocolate.”<\/p>\n
Well at least I wanted my nickname to be “Hot Chocolate,” but it didn’t catch on with anyone, despite my numerous attempts, like whenever I had to introduce myself in Japanese language class I would say, “Boku no namae wa Marubin desu. Dozo yoroshiku. Nikkunemu wa Hatto Chokurato desu.”<\/i> <\/p>\n
Or whenever someone introduced me at a party or I had to introduce myself in an English-speaking class, I would always say, “My name is Marvin, but all my friends call me “Hot Chocolate.”<\/p>\n
That last part was a lie. Unfortunately, none of my friends called me “Hot Chocolate.”<\/p>\n
I thought it would make a great nickname for me since I enjoy hot chocolate, listen regularly to the song “You Sexy Thing” by the British group Hot Chocolate<\/a>, and have a habit of melting candy bars in my pants pockets. <\/p>\n It would’ve been a cool nickname if it caught on, but it didn’t, much like a bunch of fashion trends I tried to start in college, like bowties, bringing back the mullet hairstyle, and wearing jeans low to show off my ass crack whenever I sat down or squatted.<\/p>\n To this day, I’m not sure why I wasn’t able to get anyone to call me “Hot Chocolate.” Perhaps people didn’t know about my love of hot chocolate or perhaps it was that every time I said “Hot Chocolate,” I would say it in a high-pitched voice and then wrap my arms around myself in a B-boy<\/a> pose.<\/p>\n I may not be able to get others to call me “Hot Chocolate,” but for some reason these new Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts have no problem being called “Hot Chocolate,” despite not even tasting like hot chocolate and marshmallows like the picture on the box suggests. <\/p>\n Sure it’s got the words “hot chocolate” printed on its box, but when I put “Hot Chocolate” on one of those “Hello My Name Is” name tags, that didn’t even convince anyone to call me by my desired nickname. I thought about getting “Hot Chocolate” tattooed on one of my ass cheeks, but quickly realized the words on my ass would have a totally different meaning whenever I had to take a crap.<\/p>\n Despite not tasting like hot chocolate, the Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts weren’t bad. They were chocolatey, but not hot chocolatey, and they weren’t as good as some of the other chocolatey Pop-Tarts I’ve reviewed. Speaking of other chocolatey flavors of Pop-Tarts, this one didn’t come with a recommendation to freeze them, but I did try them frozen and they were all right. Just like an Owen Wilson cameo in a Luke Wilson movie, or visa versa, freezing it didn’t make a difference at all.<\/p>\n Each Hot Chocolate Pop-Tart has 200 calories, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, zero grams of trans fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbs, less than one gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, two grams of protein, 50 milligrams of mediocrity, and a variety of vitamins and minerals.<\/p>\n Now that I think about it, I’m actually glad that “Hot Chocolate” didn’t stick as my nickname, because I now have a new nickname that I’d like to be called. I think I’m going to try to get people to call me “The Pocket Rocket<\/a>,” because of my love of cargo pants and my fascination with NASA<\/a>.<\/p>\n Item:<\/b> Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts In college, my nickname was “Hot Chocolate.” Well at least I wanted my nickname to be “Hot Chocolate,” but it didn’t catch on with anyone, despite my numerous attempts, like whenever I had to introduce myself in Japanese language class I would say, “Boku no namae wa Marubin desu. Dozo yoroshiku. Nikkunemu wa Hatto Chokurato […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1473,1495],"class_list":["post-469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-kelloggs","tag-pop-tarts"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13252,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/08\/20\/news-stay-warm-this-fall-with-kelloggs-limited-edition-frosted-marshmallow-hot-chocolate-pop-tarts-if-toasted\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Stay Warm This Fall With Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts (If Toasted)","author":"Marvo","date":"August 20, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The Limited Edition Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts has me thinking why Kellogg's hasn't come out with coffee-flavored Pop-Tarts. They've overdone chocolate-flavored Pop-Tarts, so I think it's about time for Kellogg's to start doing coffee-flavored toaster pastries and then go completely overboard with them. They could start off with coffee,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"[23\/365] Hot chocolate","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2711\/4302712390_292e06a379.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2591,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/03\/09\/review-kelloggs-chocolate-banana-split-pop-tarts\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Kellogg’s Chocolate Banana Split Pop-Tarts","author":"Marvo","date":"March 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"The banana split is a highlight of American dessert ingenuity and the ultimate dessert for those who want to give a big middle finger and a loud \"fuck it\" to their diets. A classic version of this ice cream dessert includes scoops of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream placed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"chocobananapoptarts.jpg","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3331\/3339414139_0113b09116.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":50,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/10\/04\/hot-fudge-sundae-pop-tarts\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts","author":"Marvo","date":"October 4, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"The national grocery store chain I shop at is a tease. There I said it! She's a tease and if she keeps doing it, I'm going to have to do my shopping at another grocery store. 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Or did I get sucked through a wormhole and end up in an alternate universe where Pillsbury Toaster Strudels are the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Ice Creme Sandwich Pop-Tarts","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm5.static.flickr.com\/4105\/5056876438_0282d41014.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":110,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/12\/28\/pop-tarts-frosted-caramel-chocolate-snak-stix\/","url_meta":{"origin":469,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Pop-Tarts Frosted Caramel Chocolate Snak Stix","author":"Marvo","date":"December 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Sharing is one of the important lessons we all learned while growing up. 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\nPrice:<\/b> $3.39
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 6 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Sweet. Chocolatey. Vitamins and minerals. Hot chocolate the drink. The song “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate. Didn’t get that Hot Chocolate tattoo on my ass.
\nCons:<\/b> No one wanted to call me “Hot Chocolate.” Doesn’t really taste like hot chocolate. Freezing it doesn’t do anything for it. Melted candy bars in my pocket. My excessive use of quotation marks in this review. None of the fashion trends I tried to start in college caught on, especially showing off my ass crack.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"