{"id":472,"date":"2007-05-09T00:10:21","date_gmt":"2007-05-09T10:10:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/05\/09\/twix-pb\/"},"modified":"2023-08-25T21:03:13","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T07:03:13","slug":"twix-pb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/05\/09\/twix-pb\/","title":{"rendered":"Twix PB"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/images\/twixpb.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>When you need to make an important decision or come up with the next big idea, there isn&#8217;t a better or more useful tool than a monkey throwing poop.<\/p>\n<p>Need to come up with a new twist on an old product?  Need a name for your shitty Metallica cover band?  Want to know if someone loves you or loves you not, but all the flowers you pick have an even number of petals?  Still can&#8217;t decide if Rosie was an upgrade, a downgrade, or about the same when she replaced Star Jones on The View?  Do you need to develop a new reality TV show that doesn&#8217;t involve singing, surviving, sexy singles, or selecting a briefcase?<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re faced with any of these situations, a poop-throwing monkey is what you need.<\/p>\n<p>The only things I can think of that are almost as effective with making decisions for someone are <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Lee_Iacocca\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lee Iacocca<\/a>, the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Magic_8-Ball\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Magic 8-Ball<\/a>, and overprotective parents.<\/p>\n<p>So how does a poop-throwing monkey work?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s actually very simple.  First, get a monkey, which you can steal from a zoo, South American jungle, the Playboy Mansion, or animal testing laboratory.  Then you need to stick the monkey in a room with targets on the walls.  Each one of those targets will represent an idea or a decision.  <\/p>\n<p>Then you have to get the monkey to throw its own poop at the targets.  You can do this by getting the monkey angry, but in a humane way, because I saw the movie &#8220;28 Days Later&#8221; and I don&#8217;t want to end up infected.<\/p>\n<p>A humane way of making a monkey angry enough to throw poop is to make it watch all the episodes of &#8220;Flava of Love&#8221; which will make the monkey reject evolution and denounce the belief that humans are &#8220;superior,&#8221; since it will believe that it is more advanced than anyone on that show.<\/p>\n<p>The new Twix PB possibly smells like the result of a feces-throwing monkey.  I created possible targets that were used to come up with the idea of Twix PB, which are below.<\/p>\n<p><center><a href=\"\/images\/twixpb02_lg.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/images\/twixpb02_sm.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/center><br \/><small><center>Click image to enlarge<\/center><\/small><\/p>\n<p>Apparently, the monkey flung its poop to hit the targets for milk chocolate coating, chocolate cookie, and peanut butter filling and let me tell you that the monkey&#8217;s poop sure knows how to pick a good combination.  The Twix PB has a stronger peanut butter taste and is more flavorful than the regular Peanut Butter Twix, which has a regular cookie instead of a chocolate one.<\/p>\n<p>The Twix PB proves once again that the combination of just chocolate and peanut butter can&#8217;t go wrong and that poop-throwing monkeys shouldn&#8217;t be feared, they should be rewarded with food, because more food means more poop.<\/p>\n<p><b>Item:<\/b>  Twix PB<br \/>\n<b>Price:<\/b>  59 cents<br \/>\n<b>Purchased at:<\/b>  7-Eleven<br \/>\n<b>Rating:<\/b>  4 out of 5<br \/>\n<b>Pros:<\/b>  Stronger peanut butter taste and more flavorful than regular Peanut Butter Twix.  Usually can&#8217;t go wrong with chocolate and peanut butter.  Using a monkey to help with decisions and new ideas.<br \/>\n<b>Cons:<\/b>  Cleaning up after the poop-throwing monkey.  Watching &#8220;Flava of Love.&#8221;  Shitty Metallica cover bands.  Getting a monkey from a South American jungle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you need to make an important decision or come up with the next big idea, there isn&#8217;t a better or more useful tool than a monkey throwing poop. Need to come up with a new twist on an old product? Need a name for your shitty Metallica cover band? Want to know if someone [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1471,1679,1523],"class_list":["post-472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-candy","tag-mars","tag-twix"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48272,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2021\/09\/17\/salted-caramel-twix-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":472,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Salted Caramel Twix","author":"Julie","date":"September 17, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"When whispers of a new Twix flavor circulated on social media a few weeks ago, junk food fans reveled in the anticipation. Would this new flavor be a crowd-pleasing birthday cake, a seasonal pumpkin spice, or something completely unexpected, like purple ube with a mango twist? (Let the record show\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/nacaratwix3.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/nacaratwix3.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/nacaratwix3.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/nacaratwix3.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/nacaratwix3.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":39484,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/09\/23\/snickers-and-twix-chocolate-lowfat-milk-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":472,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Snickers and Twix Chocolate Lowfat Milk","author":"Louis","date":"September 23, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"What are Snickers and Twix Chocolate Lowfat Milk? Everyone loves the chocolate-based goodness of the well-known candy bars Snickers and Twix, right? Well, now the flavors of those beloved confections are mixed with low-fat milk to form a chocolate drink of sorts, because why not, this is America. How are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Twix-Chocolate-Lowfat-Milk.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Twix-Chocolate-Lowfat-Milk.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Twix-Chocolate-Lowfat-Milk.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Twix-Chocolate-Lowfat-Milk.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Twix-Chocolate-Lowfat-Milk.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":22563,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/05\/23\/review-twix-dark\/","url_meta":{"origin":472,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Twix Dark","author":"Sean","date":"May 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Chocolate is a funny thing. Almost everyone loves it, few despise it, and most people, when you start chattin\u2019 it up about the candy aisle, have strong feelings about types of chocolate - most notably dark and white. While standard milk chocolate is agreeable to most palates, some find white\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Twix Dark","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Twix-Dark-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Twix-Dark-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/Twix-Dark-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":151,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/02\/23\/cookies-twix\/","url_meta":{"origin":472,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Cookies &#038; Twix","author":"Marvo","date":"February 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"One of the reasons why I decided to review the Cookies & Twix candy bar was because I was told they're almost as good as sex. I didn't quite believe her, so I decided to look deeper into it by reaching into my limited sexual history. Wait, do blow-up dolls\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20724,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/10\/18\/review-limited-edition-twix-white\/","url_meta":{"origin":472,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Limited Edition Twix White","author":"Vin","date":"October 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I think the Walmart cashier was flirting with me when I bought this new Twix White. She smiled and made a little joke that I\u2019m \u201cnot supposed to eat white after Labor Day.\u201d That\u2019s actually what she said. While I applaud her for not being a total mope, and while\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Limited Edition Twix White","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5745\/30401698595_e74208cc18_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5745\/30401698595_e74208cc18_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5745\/30401698595_e74208cc18_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18130,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/02\/28\/waysnack-machine-cookies-n-creme-twix\/","url_meta":{"origin":472,"position":5},"title":"WAYSNACK MACHINE: Cookies-n-Creme Twix","author":"Marvo","date":"February 28, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Image from Jason at Collecting Candy Waysnack Machine is a series that looks back at discontinued junk food. If I was given the power to bring back one candy bar from the dead, I'd revive Cookies-n-Creme Twix. It was released in 1990, along with another new Twix variety, Chocolate Fudge,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Waysnack Machine&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Waysnack Machine","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/waysnack-machine\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG 0807","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/IMG_0807.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/IMG_0807.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/IMG_0807.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/472\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}