![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/YoplaitLTDP.jpg?resize=550%2C547&ssl=1\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I highly doubt the Lemon Torte Yoplait Delights Parfait will truly give me any delight, because it competes with my love for puppies, NBC’s primetime comedy lineup on Thursdays, and my ability to masturbate. The last one I mentioned is the heavyweight champion because it doesn’t cost any money and I can pretty much do it anywhere, even without a Macy’s lingerie ad cut out from a newspaper.<\/p>\n
But now that I think about it, Yoplait yogurt has always been marketed to women, so the Yoplait Delights Parfait isn’t meant for men, but is really meant for women, much like Secret deodorant and Mazda Miatas.<\/p>\n
But if I think about it even more, Yoplait Delights Parfaits are intended for delicate women who like to be gently touched. How did I come up with this conclusion? Because Yoplait also has lines of yogurt called Whips! and Thick & Creamy, which sound like they’re meant for women who like it a bit rough.<\/p>\n
The Lemon Torte Yoplait Delights Parfait comes in a pack of four 4-ounce cups, which are two ounces smaller than regular Yoplait yogurt containers. Each cup has two layers of yogurt filled with live and active cultures: a lemon-flavored yogurt on the bottom and a vanilla-flavored yogurt on top. Unlike most other Yoplait yogurts, there isn’t any fruit in the cup.<\/p>\n
Separately, each flavor tastes decent, but when the two yogurt flavors are mixed together, it’s like Betty Crocker is baking a lemon cake in my mouth. It’s quite tasty and creamy, but I didn’t get any delight from it, unless you count the French kissing I did with the spoon to lick it clean.<\/p>\n
While I may not have received any delight, I’m sure women who try the Lemon Torte Yoplait Delights Parfait might get a different result. So if you’re a woman and like lemon cake as much as I like puppies, 30 Rock<\/i> and masturbation, you should get your hands on this product. While you’re doing that, I’ll be using my hands for something else.<\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 100 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 80 milligrams of sodium, 180 milligrams of potassium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, 15% calcium, 15% vitamin D, 10% phosphorus.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Lemon Torte Yoplait Delights Parfait
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.00 (on sale)
\nSize:<\/b> 4-pack
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Tastes like lemon cake. Creamy. 100 calories per serving. Contains live and active cultures. Decent source of vitamin D and calcium. 30 Rock. Masturbation. Puppies.
\nCons:<\/b> Doesn’t give me delight. Smaller container than regular Yoplait yogurts. Doesn’t contain pieces of fruit. Men driving Mazda Miatas. Newspaper ink getting on my hands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I highly doubt the Lemon Torte Yoplait Delights Parfait will truly give me any delight, because it competes with my love for puppies, NBC’s primetime comedy lineup on Thursdays, and my ability to masturbate. The last one I mentioned is the heavyweight champion because it doesn’t cost any money and I can pretty much do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8653,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/02\/18\/review-yoplait-delights-parfait-chocolate-eclair-cherry-cheesecake\/","url_meta":{"origin":4818,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Yoplait Delights Parfait (Chocolate Eclair & Cherry Cheesecake)","author":"Stephanie","date":"February 18, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm a woman, so I know how to eat indulgent foods. When I found out about the two new flavors of Yoplait Delights Parfaits (Chocolate \u00c9clair and Cherry Cheesecake) I knew the occasion called for the Ultimate Feminine Eating Method (UFEM). For those of you unfamiliar with the Method, the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Yoplait Delights Parfaits (Chocolate Eclair & Cherry Cheesecake)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.static.flickr.com\/5132\/5455212443_d157449930.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20931,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/12\/07\/spotted-on-shelves-yoplait-custard-yogurt-2016\/","url_meta":{"origin":4818,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Yoplait Custard Yogurt (2016)","author":"Marvo","date":"December 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Yoplait Custard Yogurt (Caramel and Blueberry) Yoplait Custard Yogurt (Strawberry and Lemon) Yoplait Vanilla Custard Yogurt Yoplait Banana Custard Yogurt 'Member Yoplait Thick & Creamy Custard-Style Yogurt. 'Member Tatooine. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Kroger.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Yoplait Custard Yogurt (Caramel and Blueberry)","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5582\/31329085071_997e8db24a_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5582\/31329085071_997e8db24a_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5582\/31329085071_997e8db24a_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20993,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/12\/16\/spotted-on-shelves-12162016\/","url_meta":{"origin":4818,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 12\/16\/2016","author":"Marvo","date":"December 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. Dippin' Dots Gumballs The last time I had Dippin' Dots was, maybe, a decade ago. The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dippin' Dots Gumballs","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/524\/30829430704_f06fcc3aa5_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/524\/30829430704_f06fcc3aa5_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/524\/30829430704_f06fcc3aa5_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23470,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/07\/10\/spotted-on-shelves-oui-by-yoplait-french-style-yogurt\/","url_meta":{"origin":4818,"position":3},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Oui by Yoplait French Style Yogurt","author":"Marvo","date":"July 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Sacr\u00e9 bleu! Yoplait a du yaourt dans des bouteilles en verre. Trop chic! (Spotted by Sascha at Meijer.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and \"Spotted\" in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Oui by Yoplait French Style Yogurt Peach Lemon and Vanilla","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Oui-by-Yoplait-French-Style-Yogurt-Peach-Lemon-and-Vanilla.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Oui-by-Yoplait-French-Style-Yogurt-Peach-Lemon-and-Vanilla.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Oui-by-Yoplait-French-Style-Yogurt-Peach-Lemon-and-Vanilla.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17940,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/01\/09\/spotted-on-shelves-192015\/","url_meta":{"origin":4818,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 1\/9\/2015","author":"Marvo","date":"January 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. I soooo want to dip an Oreo cookie into that Yoplait Original Cookies 'n Cream Yogurt.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Yoplait Original Cookies 'n Cream and Caramel","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7571\/15616902183_d49458860c_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7571\/15616902183_d49458860c_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7571\/15616902183_d49458860c_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18015,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/02\/02\/review-yoplait-original-cookies-n-cream-yogurt\/","url_meta":{"origin":4818,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Yoplait Original Cookies ‘n Cream Yogurt","author":"Marvo","date":"February 2, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Yoplait has a habit of turning desserts into yogurt flavors. 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