{"id":4871,"date":"2009-09-30T23:47:58","date_gmt":"2009-10-01T09:47:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=4871"},"modified":"2020-12-10T11:05:25","modified_gmt":"2020-12-10T21:05:25","slug":"review-goya-cola-champagne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/09\/30\/review-goya-cola-champagne\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Goya Cola Champagne"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\/<\/a><\/p>\n

I’ll get straight to the point here: I’m what you’d call a “classy” broad. I enjoy the finer things in life, such as dining at upscale restaurants that aren’t so upscale that they don’t accept coupons; wearing designer clothing that I find irregular or on clearance; and looking at the furniture in the Crate and Barrel catalog.<\/p>\n

So when I saw Goya’s Cola Champagne, I said to myself “Ooh la la! Now there<\/i> is a soft drink for me.” Surely this was to be a superior, top of the line beverage — despite being manufactured by the same company I normally associate with black beans and adobo sauce.<\/p>\n

After opening the bottle and letting the cola breathe for a bit, I poured myself a glass. But the ironic thing about Goya Cola Champagne is that it tastes like neither cola nor champagne, but instead like carbonated sugar water with strong notes of bubblegum and hints of orange cough syrup. Actually, I don’t know if that’s “ironic” in the actual definition of ironic sense of the word so much as the Alanis Morrissette song “Ironic” sense of the word. Really, Alanis? You know I love you girl but rain on your wedding day and a fly in your Chardonnay isn’t ironic, it’s fucking unfortunate<\/i>. Learn the difference.<\/p>\n

At any rate, even though the product didn’t taste anything like actual champagne, (not even the five dollar bottles you find on the bottom “shelf of indignity” in the sparkling wine aisle of the grocery store) it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.<\/p>\n

It was also very Bazooka Joe-ish on the nose, which added to the bubblegum sensation I got while drinking it. And really, I’m down with other bubblegum flavored products such as bubblegum jelly beans, bubblegum ice cream and, you know, bubblegum itself; so going by those standards it wasn’t too bad. My biggest complaint was that it left my mouth tasting like bubblegum-flavored bile after drinking it. I think “refresco” must be Spanish for “bad aftertaste.”<\/p>\n

Overall, while it wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t especially memorable either. So next time I’m in the mood for cola or champagne I’ll probably stick to my usual Coke Zero or champagne with actual alcohol in it, even if I have to resort to the shelf of indignity in the liquor store.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces (1 bottle) – 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 gram of fiber, 45 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein and 0% iron.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Goya Cola Champagne
\nPrice:<\/b> 2\/$1.59
\nSize:<\/b> 12 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Supreme Shop ‘N Bag
\nRating:<\/b> 5 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Shit that’s bubblegum-flavored. Crate and Barrel furniture. Being a classy broad.
\nCons:<\/b> Bad aftertaste. Rain on your wedding day. Flies in your chardonnay. Having to resort to the shelf of indignity at the liquor store.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ll get straight to the point here: I’m what you’d call a “classy” broad. I enjoy the finer things in life, such as dining at upscale restaurants that aren’t so upscale that they don’t accept coupons; wearing designer clothing that I find irregular or on clearance; and looking at the furniture in the Crate and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1488],"class_list":["post-4871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-soda"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19804,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/03\/21\/spotted-on-shelves-pepsi-1893-original-cola-and-ginger-cola\/","url_meta":{"origin":4871,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Pepsi 1893 Original Cola and Ginger Cola","author":"Marvo","date":"March 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Click here to buy Pepsi 1893 Original Cola or Ginger Cola on Amazon Update: We reviewed the 1893 Ginger Cola and Original Cola! Click here to read our Ginger Cola review. And click here to read out Original Cola review. They're made with kola nut extract, certified fair trade sugar,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Pepsi 1893 Original Cola and Ginger Cola","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1561\/25313341314_13d0071d05_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1561\/25313341314_13d0071d05_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1561\/25313341314_13d0071d05_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":48413,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2021\/09\/27\/spotted-pepsi-cola-soda-shop-black-cherry-cola-and-cream-soda-cola\/","url_meta":{"origin":4871,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED: Pepsi-Cola Soda Shop Black Cherry Cola and Cream Soda Cola","author":"Marvo","date":"September 27, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: We tried them! Click here to read our review. According to Pepsi, the limited edition Soda Shop line is a modern take on classic soda shop flavors made with real sugar. Oh, are you too young to know what soda shops are? Me too. I'm way too young. (12-pack\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/pepsisodashopbottles.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/pepsisodashopbottles.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/pepsisodashopbottles.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/pepsisodashopbottles.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/pepsisodashopbottles.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":64553,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2024\/09\/10\/spotted-limited-edition-oreo-coca-cola-zero-sugar-and-coca-cola-oreo-cookies\/","url_meta":{"origin":4871,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED: Limited Edition Oreo Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and Coca-Cola Oreo Cookies","author":"Marvo","date":"September 10, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"This makes up for the tame flavors Oreo has put out recently. I hope it also makes up for the lame flavors Coca-Cola has put out recently. 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I want to stick a Ferrari logo\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/cokezero2case.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/cokezero2case.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/cokezero2case.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":51193,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/05\/13\/spotted-sour-patch-kids-cola-bubbles\/","url_meta":{"origin":4871,"position":5},"title":"SPOTTED: Sour Patch Kids Cola Bubbles","author":"Marvo","date":"May 13, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I guess now we wait for Sour Patch Kids Cola Bubbles Cola. 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