I never had the chance to properly introduce myself. <\/p>\n
I’m Ace, the new writer here at The Impulsive Buy. <\/p>\n
You probably think I came in a mail order package from a gourmet catalog. That’s not exactly true, though I have ended up here through unlikely circumstances.<\/p>\n
I grew up in in the part of Orange County that they don’t show you on television. I was a pretty good student as a child, earning great marks in playtime and penmanship. I played with Transformers and stuffed animals and often simulated battle royals in which they would fight to the death. I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in junior high, which has sadly been the crowning achievement in my life. As I developed into an angst-ridden teenager, I indulged myself in bad emo poetry and became a lazy shell of a human. I started using words like “broseph” and began to sleepwalk through high school. I ended up skating by with a 2.8 GPA and needed to retake a few classes to graduate.<\/p>\n
I am now entering my third year at Cal State Fullerton where I am working towards an English degree. I chose the school because I thought “Tuffy the Titan” was such an adorable name for a mascot. My professors are either maniacally insane or nearly comatose, but it’s generally fun. If you live in the Orange County area, feel free to join me for coffee between my classes. I have grown weary of pretending to read the newspaper.<\/p>\n
Am I qualified to write anything suitable for human eyes? No, not really. I have done some journalism in previous years, but nothing groundbreaking. My first gig as a writer was when my friend gave me five bucks to write his article for him, so I don’t exactly have “credentials” or anything. However, I have done pretty well in my writing classes. I am accused of being a snob, though, because I like to correct papers with a giant novelty marker and loudly proclaim “Wrong!” or “You really don’t get it, do you?” as I make every mark.<\/p>\n
Anyways, I was a long time fan of The Impulsive Buy before I began writing here. It helped me decide to make my own blog, the generically named Here To Eat, where I wrote food pseudo-reviews for dozens upon dozens of fans. I enjoyed doing it as I was free to interject my own pointless musings while talking about chicken fried steak. I guess Marvo liked it enough to offer me a home here. Since I was already a big fan and can still write freely, it was an easy choice to make.<\/p>\n
Anyways, that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. Now that you know me, hopefully you guys will not mistake my reviews for Marvo’s. May all good things in life happen to you and only you.<\/p>\n
– Ace<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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Unless you're vegetarian, then you might stuff your face with Tofurkey, a faux turkey made out of tofu. No matter how you stuff your face this Thanksgiving, one thing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":268,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/08\/09\/happy-first-anniversary-or-happy-blogiversary\/","url_meta":{"origin":502,"position":3},"title":"Happy First Anniversary!!! (Or Happy Blogiversary!!!)","author":"Marvo","date":"August 9, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"One year ago today, the first ever review was posted here at the Impulsive Buy, which was for the almost drinkable Natural Citrus Listerine. Since then, the Impulsive Buy has posted 217 product reviews. However, 212 of them suck. 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