![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/latteslurpee.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Consider the Slurpuccino the closest thing Slurpologists at 7-Eleven could come up with that might be considered an adult Slurpee without adding alcohol. By its name you can figure out that this here Slurpee has a coffee flavor to it, much like the sweat that comes out of pores of Britney Spears’ cigarette and Starbucks-addicted body after jiggling her pudgy frame through a dance routine for “…Baby One More Time.” <\/p>\n
I wish that 7-Eleven came up with this idea sooner, because I will admit, it seems a little weird for a 32-year-old quasi-product review blogger<\/strike> man to be walking out of a convenience store with a strawberry, banana, or Coke Slurpee in his hand. Sure it is even weirder because I suck on the straw a little too provocatively and because of that parents usually pull their children a little closer to them to protect them from the grown man who loves Slurpees — apparently a little too much. However, a coffee-flavored Slurpee would help with this awkwardness.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, the coffee flavor of the Slurpuccino was like Madonna’s British accent — it was extremely artificial. Just like actual coffee, there was a slight bitterness to it, but that bitterness was overcome by the excessive fake creme flavor. Sweet, sweet caffeine might’ve made up for its flavor, but I couldn’t find anything about caffeine content on the Slurpee website.<\/p>\n
You would think that a national convenience store chain that serves millions of gallons of coffee every year to truck drivers, office workers, college students, and people who did not want to wait in line at Starbucks and will settle for something less could make a pretty good coffee Slurpee, but it seems those years of coffee experience were not used well or at all.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, it is a limited edition Slurpee that will be available only throughout February and March. This timeframe makes it a great Valentine’s Day gift for the one you want to break up with. Just buy one right before the break up and stick on it a card that says, “This Slurpuccino was very artificial, just like your personality. This Slurpee will quickly melt away, just like my love for you has.”<\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Cafe Latte Slurpuccino
\nPrice:<\/b> $1.49 (32-ounces)
\nPurchased at:<\/b> 7-Eleven
\nRating:<\/b> 4 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> It is cold. Being a Slurpologist. Not having to wait in line at Starbucks. Adult Slurpees. Adult diapers.
\nCons:<\/b> Extremely artificial latte flavor. Horrible fake cream flavor. Headache from brain freeze. Headache from caffeine withdrawals. Great tool to use to break up with someone. Madonna’s British accent. Britney Spears’ coffee-smelling bodily fluids. Sucking on a straw in a provocative manner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Consider the Slurpuccino the closest thing Slurpologists at 7-Eleven could come up with that might be considered an adult Slurpee without adding alcohol. By its name you can figure out that this here Slurpee has a coffee flavor to it, much like the sweat that comes out of pores of Britney Spears’ cigarette and Starbucks-addicted […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1647,1545,1553],"class_list":["post-572","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-7-eleven","tag-beverage","tag-slurpee"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19814,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/03\/23\/fast-food-news-7-eleven-wild-cherry-slurpee-donut\/","url_meta":{"origin":572,"position":0},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: 7-Eleven Wild Cherry Slurpee Donut","author":"Marvo","date":"March 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I thought Slurpee-flavored cotton candy was a really weird thing for 7-Eleven to offer, but the convenience store has something weirder. The Wild Cherry Slurpee Donut is a cake donut that appears to have Wild Cherry Slurpee-flavored icing and sugar crystals. If you've tried it, let us know what you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"7-Eleven Wild Cherry Slurpee Donut 2","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1638\/25694681410_42174b0c64_o.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1638\/25694681410_42174b0c64_o.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1638\/25694681410_42174b0c64_o.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23479,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/07\/11\/reminder-free-small-7-eleven-slurpee-today\/","url_meta":{"origin":572,"position":1},"title":"REMINDER: Free Small 7-Eleven Slurpee Today","author":"Marvo","date":"July 11, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"To celebrate its 90th birthday, 7-Eleven will be giving away small Slurpee drinks from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. today (July 11). The convenience store chain started giving away free Slurpee drinks on 7-Eleven Day back in 2002, when the retailer celebrated its 75th birthday. 7-Eleven estimates will it give\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reminder"","block_context":{"text":"Reminder","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reminder\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"7 Eleven Day 2017","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/7-Eleven-Day-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18426,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/05\/04\/fast-food-news-7-eleven-mountain-dew-solar-flare-slurpee\/","url_meta":{"origin":572,"position":2},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: 7-Eleven Mountain Dew Solar Flare Slurpee","author":"Marvo","date":"May 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Last summer, 7-Eleven began offering Mountain Dew Solar Flare as an option at their fountains. The soda is described as a \"Dew with a blast of tropical punch.\" This summer, 7-Eleven is offering Mountain Dew Solar Flare in brain freeze-inducing Slurpee form. Thanks to Impulsive Buy reader Hayden who sent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"7-Eleven Mountain Dew Solar Flare Slurpee","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8692\/16740912783_2756933786_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8692\/16740912783_2756933786_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8692\/16740912783_2756933786_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":20217,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/06\/23\/fast-food-news-7-eleven-sour-patch-redberry-slurpee\/","url_meta":{"origin":572,"position":3},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: 7-Eleven Sour Patch Redberry Slurpee","author":"Marvo","date":"June 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"About this time last year, 7-Eleven introduced the first Sour Patch Slurpee -- Watermelon. This year, Slurpee's 50th birthday, the convenience store is rolling out a new Sour Patch Slurpee flavor. This time it's the popular Redberry. The new sour and sweet flavor is available for a limited time at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"7 Eleven Sour Patch Redberry Slurpee","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/7-Eleven-Sour-Patch-Redberry-Slurpee.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24646,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/09\/13\/fast-food-news-7-eleven-ghost-white-gummi-slurpee\/","url_meta":{"origin":572,"position":4},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: 7-Eleven Ghost White Gummi Slurpee","author":"Marvo","date":"September 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The white gummi is THE BEST gummy. If you've tried the Slurpee, let us know what you think of it in the comments. (Spotted by Sylvia at 7-Eleven.)","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"7 Eleven Ghost White Gummi Slurpee","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/7-Eleven-Ghost-White-Gummi-Slurpee.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":21383,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/03\/13\/fast-food-news-7-eleven-trolli-pineapple-lime-slurpee\/","url_meta":{"origin":572,"position":5},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: 7-Eleven Trolli Pineapple Lime Slurpee","author":"Marvo","date":"March 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Last year, Trolli and 7-Eleven teamed up to offer a candy that was prominent in one of my nightmares, the James Harden Edition Sour Brite Weird Beards. This year, the two are collaborating again to offer Trolli Sour Brite Sloths candy. The new chewy candy features Strawberry & Grape, Blue\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Trolli Pineapple Slurpee","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Trolli-Pineapple-Slurpee.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Trolli-Pineapple-Slurpee.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/Trolli-Pineapple-Slurpee.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/572","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=572"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/572\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=572"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=572"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=572"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}