{"id":580,"date":"2008-03-02T15:00:02","date_gmt":"2008-03-03T01:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/03\/02\/carls-jr-capn-crunch-shake\/"},"modified":"2020-12-29T21:05:56","modified_gmt":"2020-12-30T07:05:56","slug":"carls-jr-capn-crunch-shake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/03\/02\/carls-jr-capn-crunch-shake\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Carl&#8217;s Jr. Cap&#8217;n Crunch Shake"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:right;padding-left:10px;border:none;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/capncrunchshake.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In perhaps the most random pairing since Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Damme in the horrible action flick <i>Double Team<\/i>, Carl&#8217;s Jr. and Cap&#8217;n Crunch have come together to deliver an ice cream shake that can satisfy any dairy craving. But why Cap&#8217;n Crunch? Is he not one of the lamest of all cereal mascots? Is the Lucky Charms leprechaun strung out on acid? Has the Trix rabbit finally ended his agony by murdering all the children that have tormented him?<\/p>\n<p>I would hope not, but it is a rather curious choice. Cap&#8217;n Crunch has been laying low for the past several years, presumably shamed by the negative media attention he has received. First, his cereal was accused of cutting the roofs of people&#8217;s mouths, then Chris Rock compares him to Michael Jackson. His last appearance was a cameo on Family Guy where we discover that he had put a hit out on Count Chocula for spreading the mouth laceration rumor.<\/p>\n<p>Whatever the reason for his disappearance, the Cap&#8217;n is back in milkshake form. After I tasted the ultra-thick shake, I realized why Cap&#8217;n Crunch is surprisingly delicious, especially when it&#8217;s blended and you don&#8217;t have to eat it in fear. You get a shake that is mostly ice cream and topped with a good amount of whipped cream. This is essential for me because I like to do that sexy tongue thing with the whipped cream, making this a perfect date dessert.<\/p>\n<p>However, you probably won&#8217;t be able to enjoy this as you&#8217;re commuting. The cereal bits can easily clog the straw and make consumption-on-the-go pretty much impossible. Ask for a spoon if you&#8217;re planning on enjoying it. Even without the cereal, it&#8217;s still too thick to suck down. <\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what she said.<\/p>\n<p>Another downside is that even though it doesn&#8217;t taste ridiculously sweet, this thing is packed with 79 grams of sugar. It also has 35 grams of fat, a fact that Jared from Subway is sure to be shoving in your face during his next commercial. It&#8217;s probably a good idea to split this one, seeing as it has enough fat and sugar to kill a small child. It would be a pleasant and painless death, but one that the Cap&#8217;n probably wouldn&#8217;t want to be held liable for.<\/p>\n<p><small>(Nutritional Facts &#8211; 1 Shake &#8211; 740 calories, 35 grams of fat, 24 grams of saturated fat, 100 mg of cholesterol, 320mg sodium, 94 grams of carbs, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 79 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein)<\/small><\/p>\n<p><b>Item:<\/b> Carl&#8217;s Jr. Cap&#8217;n Crunch Shake<br \/>\n<b>Price:<\/b> FREE from the Carl&#8217;s Jr. PR peeps (retails for $3.09)<br \/>\n<b>Purchased at:<\/b> Carl&#8217;s Jr.<br \/>\n<b>Rating:<\/b> 8 out of 10<br \/>\n<b>Pros:<\/b> Blended cereal and ice cream taste surprisingly good together. Won&#8217;t cut the roof of your mouth. Even with all the sugar, doesn&#8217;t taste too sweet. That sexy thing I do with whipped cream.<br \/>\n<b>Cons:<\/b> Cap&#8217;n Crunch is a pretty lame mascot. The movie <i>Double Team<\/i>. Jared from Subway&#8217;s condescending attitude. Nearly impossible to drink through the straw. Enough fat and sugar to kill small children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In perhaps the most random pairing since Dennis Rodman and Jean-Claude Van Damme in the horrible action flick Double Team, Carl&#8217;s Jr. and Cap&#8217;n Crunch have come together to deliver an ice cream shake that can satisfy any dairy craving. But why Cap&#8217;n Crunch? Is he not one of the lamest of all cereal mascots? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1478,1477],"class_list":["post-580","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-carls-jr","tag-fast-food"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9646,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/07\/05\/news-make-your-upper-palate-raw-with-capn-crunchs-chocolatey-crunch\/","url_meta":{"origin":580,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Make Your Upper Palate Raw With Cap&#8217;n Crunch&#8217;s Chocolatey Crunch","author":"Marvo","date":"July 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Despite its possible mouth shredding abilities, I'm a fan of Cap'n Crunch. There's something about that sweetened golden cereal that makes my tongue set sail for Yum Island. I'm also a fan of chocolate, despite its waist expanding abilities. So I'm excited about the two of them combining to form\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11160,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/01\/25\/review-capn-crunchs-chocolatey-crunch\/","url_meta":{"origin":580,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Cap&#8217;n Crunch&#8217;s Chocolatey Crunch","author":"Marvo","date":"January 25, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"After tasting Cap'n Crunch's Chocolatey Crunch cereal, I decided I want to become the captain of a pirate ship so that I can hunt down Cap'n Crunch's ship and send him and his crew to Davy Jones' Locker using a barrage of cannonballs painted to look like Crunch Berries. 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But, it's hard because I'm such a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16045,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/01\/06\/spotted-on-shelves-capn-crunchs-sprinkled-donut-crunch-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":580,"position":3},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES &#8211; Cap&#8217;n Crunch&#8217;s Sprinkled Donut Crunch Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"January 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Update 2\/3\/2014: Click here to read our Cap'n Crunch's Sprinkled Donut Crunch Cereal review Let's see...there's Chocolatey Crunch Cereal in 2011, Cinnamon Roll Crunch Cereal in 2012, Cap'n Crunch Snack Mixes in 2013, and Cap'n Crunch's Sprinkled Donut Crunch in 2014. Looks like someone trying really hard to be Admir'l\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Spotted on Shelves&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Cap'n Crunch Sprinkled Donut Crunch","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2892\/11795490526_427b3f0c0e.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":29030,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/05\/30\/quick-review-limited-edition-capn-crunchs-beach-bash-crunch-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":580,"position":4},"title":"QUICK REVIEW: Limited Edition Cap&#8217;n Crunch&#8217;s Beach Bash Crunch Cereal","author":"Meghan","date":"May 30, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"What is it? As sad as it is to say, eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch's Beach Bash Cereal is as close as I\u2019m going to get to actually going to the beach this summer. 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