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These new spicy Hot Pockets are way more complicated than you were expecting. Not in taste though. That\u2019s straightforward. What\u2019s complicated is everything else. Allow me to explain.<\/p>\n
First, like a music festival or an early 2000s Southern rap album, these Hot Pockets are presented by someone other than Nestle alone. These are all branded as \u201cFirst We Feast presents: Hot Ones,\u201d then the name of the type of Hot Pocket. And then, if that wasn\u2019t enough, each one is \u201cmade with\u201d some sort of non-Hot Pocket sauce. The Hot Habanero Pepperoni & Sausage is made with \u201cLos Calientes Rojo,\u201d the Smoky Green Chili Cheesesteak is made with \u201cLos Calientes Verde,\u201d and the Spicy Garlic Chicken & Bacon is made with \u201cThe Classic Garlic Fresno.\u201d<\/p>\n
I know, I\u2019m sorry. It\u2019s a lot.<\/p>\n
In case you\u2019re like me and wildly disconnected from most modern media, allow me to explain. (By copy\/pasting from Google.) \u201cFirst We Feast is an online food-culture magazine and YouTube channel. The site co-produces the YouTube series Hot Ones with Complex Media, its parent company.\u201d<\/p>\n
Okay, so in retrospect, I\u2019ve heard of this. Hot Ones is the thing where celebrities eat really hot wings and, I don\u2019t know\u2026 it\u2019s funny? It\u2019s touching? Whatever it is, it\u2019s a lucrative enterprise. Because here we are, with branded Hot Pockets.<\/p>\n
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This thing OOZED sauce — cloyingly sweet sauce. I think my entire Hot Pocket had two small shards of pepperoni and three, maybe four sausage chunks. The pepperoni and sausage are the same meats used in all other Hot Pockets, so if you\u2019ve had any of those, you know the drill. Salty, chewy, nothing to write home about. But really, this sauce. Oof. And how was the hotness? I mean, that\u2019s really the whole point, right? It was\u2026 noticeable but not overly aggressive. The box suggested that the heat level was a 5 out of 10 \u2014 the same as the Smoky Green Chili Cheesesteak \u2014 and I don\u2019t feel like the heat matched at ALL. It was much milder. So, if you had this one and found it tolerable from a heat perspective, please don\u2019t assume the cheesesteak one will be the same. It\u2019s not.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
This one BURNED. The heat kicked in fast and was prevalent throughout. What I found interesting, though, was how quickly the heat subsided. It didn\u2019t last more than 20 or 30 seconds after each bite. The steak was the same nib-like meat they use in the delightful Jalape\u00f1o Steak & Cheese variety, which I sadly cannot find anywhere around here anymore. In fact, this was reminiscent of that, though it\u2019s missing the cheese sauce, which is a shame. And there didn\u2019t seem to be as much steak. And this had a green chili that mostly just blended in. So, okay, I guess it\u2019s not much like the Jalape\u00f1o Steak & Cheese at all. Nor is it good.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/hotoneshp4.jpeg?resize=600%2C800&ssl=1\")
<\/p>\n
At least this one tried something different? Although I didn\u2019t really get much heat from this \u2014 it was a 2 out of 10 on their arbitrary Hot Ones scale \u2014 it had the most nuance, mostly due to a mild smoky component, though I don\u2019t know if this came from the chicken, the bacon, or the garlic sauce. (For what it\u2019s worth, there were no discernible pieces of bacon, and the chicken\u2019s prevalence was about as impressive as the sausage and pepperoni inclusion on that version.) This was the winner of the bunch \u2014 not that that\u2019s saying much.<\/p>\n
Purchased Price:<\/strong> $2.98 each These new spicy Hot Pockets are way more complicated than you were expecting. Not in taste though. That\u2019s straightforward. What\u2019s complicated is everything else. Allow me to explain. First, like a music festival or an early 2000s Southern rap album, these Hot Pockets are presented by someone other than Nestle alone. These are all branded […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1571,1689],"class_list":["post-59233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-frozen-food","tag-hot-pockets"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14824,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/05\/06\/review-limited-edition-spicy-beef-nacho-hot-pockets\/","url_meta":{"origin":59233,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho Hot Pockets","author":"Marvo","date":"May 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"As someone whose stomach has had the pleasure and pain of experiencing many different varieties of Hot Pockets, the new Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho Hot Pockets tasted like a meat and cheese cocoon that the fine folks over at Nestle had released before. After spending more time than anyone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho Hot Pockets","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8270\/8712361732_2fc9061dba.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10089,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/08\/31\/review-hot-pockets-limited-edition-four-cheese-garlic-pasta-bake\/","url_meta":{"origin":59233,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Hot Pockets Limited Edition Four Cheese Garlic Pasta Bake","author":"Stephanie","date":"August 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"The longevity of Hot Pockets has hinged upon two things: 1) Their manufacturer's ability to successfully stuff as many different things into a tender, seasoned crust as possible; and 2) Speedy microwave zap-ability. If either of these things changed for the worse, the Hot Pockets franchise would be deader than\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hot Pockets Limited EditionFour Cheese Garlic Pasta Bake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6193\/6098875651_4d472da428.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10303,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/09\/29\/review-hot-pockets-limited-edition-spicy-hawaiian-style-pizza\/","url_meta":{"origin":59233,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Hot Pockets Limited Edition Spicy Hawaiian Style Pizza","author":"Marvo","date":"September 29, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Hot Pockets had to eventually make their Limited Edition Spicy Hawaiian Style Pizza because they were running out of normal pizza varieties to stuff into their crust. Let me go through the list, which, by the way, IS NOT the list of pizzas I'm going to use to pull a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hot Pockets Limited Edition Spicy Hawaiian Style Pizza","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6175\/6194807978_81cb0fd518.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":58592,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/10\/09\/spotted-hot-ones-hot-pockets\/","url_meta":{"origin":59233,"position":3},"title":"SPOTTED: Hot Ones Hot Pockets","author":"Marvo","date":"October 9, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"There are three other flavors -- Smoky Green Chile Cheesesteak, Hot Habanero Sausage & Pepperoni, and the hottest of the bunch, Fiery Hot Pepperoni. But the hottest one can only be purchased on gopuff.com. The Spicy Garlic Chicken & Bacon is the mildest of the bunch. (Spotted by Shandelle at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/hphotonesspigarchibac-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/hphotonesspigarchibac-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/hphotonesspigarchibac-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19136,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/09\/29\/spotted-on-shelves-spicy-pepperoni-and-spicy-chicken-jalapeno-hot-pockets\/","url_meta":{"origin":59233,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Spicy Pepperoni and Spicy Chicken Jalapeno Hot Pockets","author":"Marvo","date":"September 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A \"Burnin'\" Spicy Pepperoni Hot Pocket has reduced fat mozzarella cheese, diced jalape\u00f1os, and a sriracha cayenne pizza sauce in a crispy crust. The \"Scorchin'\" Spicy Chicken Jalape\u00f1o Hot Pocket has white meat chicken, reduced fat cheddar, jalape\u00f1os, bell peppers, and sriracha cheese sauce in a crispy crust. Huh. I'm\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Spicy Pepperoni and Spicy Chicken Jalapeno Hot Pockets","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/586\/21609112918_290f9c37a8_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/586\/21609112918_290f9c37a8_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/586\/21609112918_290f9c37a8_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":19985,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/04\/28\/review-hot-pockets-food-truck-spicy-asian-style-beef\/","url_meta":{"origin":59233,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Hot Pockets Food Truck Spicy Asian-Style Beef","author":"Brandon","date":"April 28, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Food trucks are all the rage these days. 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\nPurchased at:<\/strong> Hy-Vee
\nRating:<\/strong> 3 out of 10 (Pepperoni and Sausage), 4 out of 10 (Green Chili Cheesesteak), 5 out of 10 (Garlic Chicken and Bacon)
\nNutrition Facts:<\/strong> Pepperoni & Sausage<\/strong> \u2013 290 calories, 13 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein. Green Chili Cheesesteak<\/strong> \u2013 280 calories, 11 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 700 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 8 grams of protein. Garlic Chicken & Bacon<\/strong> \u2013 280 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 38 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"