![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/05\/kashicocoabeacer.jpeg?resize=500%2C500&ssl=1\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Right now, I am staring at my ass in the mirror because I am waiting for a rainbow to shine out of it. <\/p>\n
All this time I’ve been afraid of the intense healthiness found in each super-powered Kashi product, which is so natural and healthy that I heard rumors it is a hippie aphrodisiac and it causes rainbows to shine out of your ass. Hence, here I am looking at my derriere in the mirror. <\/p>\n
Until minutes ago, I was a perky Kashi Virgin, which is as unsexy as it sounds. But eventually I gave in and I lost my virginity to the new Kashi Cocoa Beach Granola cereal. <\/p>\n
I guess I have some trepidation about foods that claim to be natural and healthy because I have been burned badly by them in the past. They usually taste like what I imagine rainbows that come out of my ass would taste like. However, there are people out there who adore all Kashi products and would marry them if it were legal or would bathe in Kashi’s famous 7 Whole Grains, if it did not get stuck in places it should not and did not itch so badly.<\/p>\n
The Kashi Cocoa Beach Granola cereal consists of almonds, coconut, cocoa-infused clusters, and of course, Kashi’s 7 Whole Grains. Despite living on a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I am not a big fan of coconut, so I thought I would not enjoy this cereal very much. While trying this cereal, I could easily see the shreds of coconut in it, but could not taste the coconut. The cocoa flavor wasn’t like the chocolate flavor you might taste with the sugary cereals out there, it was better. The almonds and granola gave the cereal a nice crunch, even after spending a few minutes in milk.<\/p>\n
With all the granola, almonds and coconut shreds, the cereal seemed really dense, like a stripper who doesn’t strip to pay for their college tuition. After eating a big bowl of it, my jaw was tired from all the chewing. The denseness was also the reason why this cereal comes in a box that is about one-third smaller than most other cereal boxes.<\/p>\n
The Kashi Cocoa Beach Granola cereal is probably the healthiest food I’ve eaten in the last few years. One serving of this cereal has one-fourth of my daily fiber needs, two-thirds of my daily needs of whole grains, 400 milligrams of ALA Omega-3 and it is all natural, but most importantly it tastes really good.<\/p>\n
So did a rainbow shine out of my ass? No, not yet, but I still have time to look since I’m preparing a tub filled with Kashi cereal and soy milk to bathe in.<\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1\/2 cup – 230 calories, 9 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 4.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 150 milligrams of potassium, 33 grams of carbs, 6 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 16 grams of other carbs, 6 grams of protein, and Kashi’s 7 Whole Grain Goodness.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Kashi Cocoa Beach Granola Cereal
\nPrice:<\/b> $5.29 (14.3 ounces)
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 9 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Tastes really good. Fiber up and out the wazoo. 400 milligrams of ALA Omega-3. All around healthy. Whole grains. Despite not liking coconut, I didn’t mind the coconut in this cereal.
\nCons:<\/b> Makes my jaw hurt when I chew. Small box. Getting Kashi’s 7 Whole Grains stuck in between the body’s cracks and crevices. The movie Baby Mama.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Right now, I am staring at my ass in the mirror because I am waiting for a rainbow to shine out of it. All this time I’ve been afraid of the intense healthiness found in each super-powered Kashi product, which is so natural and healthy that I heard rumors it is a hippie aphrodisiac and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1472,2047],"class_list":["post-603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cereal","tag-kashi"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2930,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/04\/02\/news-new-kashi-island-vanilla-biscuit-cereal-may-cause-kashi-fanboys-and-fangirls-to-drool-all-over-themselves\/","url_meta":{"origin":603,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: New Kashi Island Vanilla Biscuit Cereal May Cause Kashi Fanboys and Fangirls To Drool All Over Themselves","author":"Marvo","date":"April 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm afraid to say anything bad about a Kashi product because I'm afraid of what the Kashi fanatics will do to me, so I'm not sure if I want to try the new Kashi Island Vanilla Biscuit Cereal. I've never met a Kashi fanboy or fangirl, so I don't know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41617,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2020\/01\/06\/spotted-cereal-edition-1-6-2020\/","url_meta":{"origin":603,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED (CEREAL EDITION) – 1\/6\/2020","author":"Marvo","date":"January 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new cereals found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you've tried any of them, share your thoughts in the comments. (Spotted by Alisa P at Walmart.) (Spotted by Rachel C at Walmart.) (Spotted by Sarah D at Hy-Vee.) (Spotted by Amanda Y at Walmart.)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Limited-Edition-Cheerios-with-Happy-Heart-Shapes.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Limited-Edition-Cheerios-with-Happy-Heart-Shapes.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Limited-Edition-Cheerios-with-Happy-Heart-Shapes.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Limited-Edition-Cheerios-with-Happy-Heart-Shapes.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Limited-Edition-Cheerios-with-Happy-Heart-Shapes.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26355,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/01\/02\/spotted-on-shelves-cereal-edition-1-2-2018\/","url_meta":{"origin":603,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES (CEREAL EDITION) – 1\/2\/2018","author":"Marvo","date":"January 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new cereals found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. Annie's Organic Cinnabunnies Cinnamon Cereals Kellogg's Special K Nourish Berries & Peaches with Probiotics Post Grape Nuts Cranberry Vanilla Trail Mix\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Kashi-Go-Lean-Peanut-Butter-Crunch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1437,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/12\/11\/kashi-honey-sunshine-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":603,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Kashi Honey Sunshine Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"December 11, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I didn't buy the Kashi Honey Sunshine Cereal because of Kashi's world-famous seven whole grains, I purchased it because I'm hoping the sunshine it provides will protect me from vampires and the overwhelming hype surrounding Twilight. If you don't know about Twilight, it's a book about vampires who live among\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/kashhihonesuncer-500x500.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":26759,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/01\/26\/spotted-on-shelves-kashi-cinnamon-french-toast-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":603,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Kashi Cinnamon French Toast Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"January 26, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I wish they were shaped like pieces of bread instead of ugly throw pillows. (Spotted by Jarred at Walmart.) 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