{"id":6312,"date":"2010-05-03T00:00:18","date_gmt":"2010-05-03T10:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=6312"},"modified":"2020-12-11T17:30:14","modified_gmt":"2020-12-12T03:30:14","slug":"review-sunkist-invincible-orange-slurpee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2010\/05\/03\/review-sunkist-invincible-orange-slurpee\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

To mark the beginning of the warmer days of spring, I get a Slurpee from 7-Eleven. Slurpees are like teen magazines; you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be caught with one, because people will think you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a tad bit weird if they see you tonguing and speaking in baby-talk to the latest picture of Justin Bieber, or in the case of 7-Eleven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Slurpees, tonguing the dribble that accumulates on the top of the cup and yelling at it when it gets all over your shirt. <\/p>\n

Most of the time, the scathing looks people give you when sucking on a massive Slurpee are worth it because it’s usually uber delicious. Besides, you shouldn’t care about what people think, because you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re in Slurpee euphoria and they’re not. However, if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care about the looks people give you when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re making out with a picture of a sixteen-year-old male pop star that looks like he could be on Nickelodeon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s version of The L Word<\/i>, I suggest you quit your job as a middle school teacher.<\/p>\n

What makes the Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee invincible? On the surface, there couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be anything invincible about a semi-frozen beverage that starts to melt before you stick a straw in it. But a massive corporation that sells hot dogs in a carousel couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be lying about its beverage’s invincibility to the millions of stoners who made the company what it is today, right? Like Jacques Cousteau, or Octomom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gynecologist, I decided to risk my personal safety so people can learn from my invincibility experiments with the Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee. <\/p>\n

I drove into Crips territory in a red Civic, wearing Red Door perfume, a shirt from Gap\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s (Product)Red collection and my face covered in red paint. Also, in one hand I had a Red Robin burger and in the other I had a Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee.<\/p>\n

The results? <\/p>\n

My car was stolen, I was called an old bitch for wearing grandma perfume, my burger was ripped from my clutches and consumed in front of my face and instead of getting pistol whipped, my Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee was dumped on my head. After that ordeal, I decided to end my quest to determine the invincibility of the Slurpee. I realized people just toss the word around, because it sounds badass. Michael Jackson named one of his records “Invincible” and we all know what happened to MJ. <\/p>\n

The Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee is not badass enough to deserve the title “invincible.” However, it’s pretty tasty. It tastes like a Creamsicle, but with less of the smooth vanilla flavor. The orange dominates the vanilla, but I don’t feel comfortable using the word “dominate” to describe this beverage because it gives it street cred that it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t deserve. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m notorious for combing Slurpee flavors, and if they still had the Vanilla Cream flavor or Blue Vanilla, I would combine that with this Slurpee just so the orange and vanilla are balanced.<\/p>\n

The Sunkist Invincible Orange was a really good Slurpee, but I feel it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not in-your-face enough for a tie-in with anything associated with Iron Man 2<\/i>. 7-Eleven kind of pussied out on this, kind of like what Insane Clown Posse did with their song “Miracles.”<\/a> Maybe if they added some caffeine it would be better, but alas it’s just a Slurpee that can help you deal with the warm days of spring and summer, but not offer any protection if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re wearing the wrong colors in the wrong neighborhood.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 30 milligrams of sodium, 0 milligrams of potassium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 32 grams of sugar and 0 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

(NOTE: We Rate Stuff also reviewed it<\/a>, but didn’t like it as much.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Sunkist Invincible Orange Slurpee
\nPrice:<\/b> $1.39
\nSize:<\/b> 32 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> 7-Eleven
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Refreshing orange flavor. Tastes kind of like a Creamsicle. Warmer weather. Slurpee euphoria. 7-Eleven being around thanks to stoners.
\nCons:<\/b> Needs a tad more vanilla. Justin Bieber. Overuse of words so that they lose their actual meaning. Being Octomom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gynecologist. Cougar middle school teachers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To mark the beginning of the warmer days of spring, I get a Slurpee from 7-Eleven. Slurpees are like teen magazines; you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to be caught with one, because people will think you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a tad bit weird if they see you tonguing and speaking in baby-talk to the latest picture of Justin Bieber, or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1553],"class_list":["post-6312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-slurpee"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":390,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/08\/24\/purple-screme-slurpee\/","url_meta":{"origin":6312,"position":0},"title":"Purple S’Creme Slurpee","author":"Marvo","date":"August 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh thank heaven for 7-Eleven Slurpees, which are not only cold and refreshing, they can also turn your tongue into colors that are usually only made possible through sexually transmitted diseases. 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Last month, Mutant Berry was released to coincide with the opening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. This month, 7-Eleven is unleashing Apocalyptic Ice Slurpee, a blood orange flavored beverage, to promote the latest movie in the Terminator\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12108,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/05\/03\/news-get-50-percent-less-sugar-brain-freezes-with-new-slurpee-lite\/","url_meta":{"origin":6312,"position":3},"title":"NEWS: Get 50 Percent Less Sugar Brain Freezes With New Slurpee Lite","author":"Marvo","date":"May 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Have you ever regretted drinking a 40-ounce Slurpee? I have. 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