{"id":68,"date":"2004-10-27T00:22:55","date_gmt":"2004-10-27T10:22:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=68"},"modified":"2023-08-14T16:23:30","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T02:23:30","slug":"crest-whitening-expressions-variety-pack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/10\/27\/crest-whitening-expressions-variety-pack\/","title":{"rendered":"Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Crest<\/p>\n

Wh-wh-what?<\/p>\n

Review?<\/p>\n

Oh, yeah. <\/p>\n

Sorry folks, I was just drooling over the new iPod Photo<\/a> and crying because my third-generation iPod is slowly becoming less and less cool. If I had the money I would get an iPod Photo in a heartbeat, but this gig as the editor of a quasi-review blog doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pay much.<\/p>\n

Okay, it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pay anything at all. <\/p>\n

So with the end of October coming up, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time to honor what this month is most known for. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right folks, National Dental Hygiene Month<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now some of you may email us about the fact that we probably have dishonored National Dental Hygiene Month by giving positive reviews this month to such sugary products as Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts<\/a>, Shasta Tiki Punch<\/a>, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts<\/a>, and Rockstar Energy Drink<\/a>. All I have to say to that is, quoting my favorite infomercial star Anthony Robbins<\/a>, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153The past does not equal the future.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

As editor of the Impulsive Buy, I promise that we will honor National Dental Hygiene Month by not reviewing any more sugary sweet products this month. <\/p>\n

So that means in about four days, October will be over and then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s back to the sugary sweet stuff.<\/p>\n

Today we will be reviewing the Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack, which contains .85-ounce tubes of the four flavors of the Crest Whitening Expressions family: Cinnamon Rush, Extreme Herbal Mint, Refreshing Vanilla Mint, and Fresh Citrus Breeze.<\/p>\n

The ONLY reason why I decided to buy this variety pack was to mix flavors.<\/p>\n

Over the past month, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been fun trying every flavor combination possible and coming up with new flavor names in the process, like Fresh Herbal Citrus Mint Breeze.<\/p>\n

My favorite flavor was Extreme Cinnaminy Minty Rush.<\/p>\n

My least favorite flavor was Minty Vanilli Frashlee Cinnasimpson Breeze. (Okay I admit it, I was reaching for a Milli Vanilli\/Ashlee Simpson joke and failed horribly.)<\/p>\n

One of the big things I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like about the product was the price. Although the Crest variety pack was on sale, it really wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t. (Did I blow your mind with that?)<\/p>\n

You see, awhile back we reviewed<\/a> a six-ounce tube of Crest Whitening Expressions Fresh Citrus Breeze toothpaste, which we bought at a regular price of $3.29. <\/p>\n

With the Crest variety pack you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re paying $3.49 for only 3.4 ounces of toothpaste, which is a total rip-off. <\/p>\n

Although variety packs have been proven to be good for sliced deli meat, potato chips, and condoms, I’m not sure if I can say the same for toothpaste.<\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $3.49 (on sale)
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Variety. Opportunity to create new toothpaste flavors.
\nCons:<\/b> Really expensive for 3.4 ounces of toothpaste. Can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t afford iPod Photo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Wh-wh-what? Review? Oh, yeah. Sorry folks, I was just drooling over the new iPod Photo and crying because my third-generation iPod is slowly becoming less and less cool. If I had the money I would get an iPod Photo in a heartbeat, but this gig as the editor of a quasi-review blog doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pay much. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":178,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/03\/24\/ipod-shuffle\/","url_meta":{"origin":68,"position":0},"title":"iPod Shuffle","author":"Marvo","date":"March 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"FEMALE FRIEND: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s soooo small. MARVO: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not THAT small. Besides, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pretty powerful and it can go for a long time. FEMALE FRIEND: How long can it go? MARVO: I got it to last for over twelve hours. FEMALE FRIEND: Twelve hours straight? MARVO: Yeah. FEMALE FRIEND: That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":177,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/03\/23\/drive-thru-records-purevolumecom-compilation\/","url_meta":{"origin":68,"position":1},"title":"Drive-Thru Records & PureVolume.com Compilation","author":"Marvo","date":"March 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I always get a tingling sensation when I buy a compilation CD that consists of bands that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never heard of. It gets me excited because I like to think of it as playing musical Russian Roulette, just spin the CD and hope none of the bands give me a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5435,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/12\/17\/review-joose-mamba-joose\/","url_meta":{"origin":68,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Joose Mamba JOOSE","author":"Kayla","date":"December 17, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in the day when young adults in the suburbs wanted to be rebels, they would pay their local hobo to pick them up a six-pack of wine coolers or a bottle of Boone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Farm. A decade later the drink du jour for the underage set was Smirnoff Ice. Today,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":119,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/01\/10\/reduced-sugar-cocoa-puffs\/","url_meta":{"origin":68,"position":3},"title":"Reduced Sugar Cocoa Puffs","author":"Marvo","date":"January 10, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Where the hell is Sonny? I want to barbeque his orange-feathered ass. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s up with this 3\/4 less sugar in his Cocoa Puffs? Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Sonny realize he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ruining the lives of grade school children everywhere? Sending them to school without adequate sugar levels is a recipe for failure in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":99,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/12\/15\/nestle-nesquik-chocolate-milkshake\/","url_meta":{"origin":68,"position":4},"title":"Nestle Nesquik Chocolate Milkshake","author":"Marvo","date":"December 15, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, And they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re like, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It's better than yours.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Okay, I think this review is off to a bad start. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s try again\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Milkshakes make my mouth modulate mindlessly monthly. Okay, the alliteration\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":55,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/10\/11\/shasta-tiki-punch\/","url_meta":{"origin":68,"position":5},"title":"Shasta Tiki Punch","author":"Marvo","date":"October 11, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Some people in this world have called me a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153cheap bastard.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d These people include: women I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve dated, panhandlers outside of my local convenience store, family members on Christmas Day, and Girl Scouts selling cookies. 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