{"id":71,"date":"2004-11-01T00:00:01","date_gmt":"2004-11-01T10:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=71"},"modified":"2023-08-14T16:48:35","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T02:48:35","slug":"voting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/11\/01\/voting\/","title":{"rendered":"Voting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Voting\"<\/p>\n

My first real experience with elections began in the fifth grade when I ran for class treasurer.<\/p>\n

I felt I was the most qualified for the position, because I had always gotten really good grades in math. My opponent, on the other hand, didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have any qualifications, unless you count looks and popularity.<\/p>\n

Class elections are somewhat like political elections. For example, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an extremely nauseating amount of campaign advertisements. Except instead of television ads, banners, and bumper stickers, the walls of our school were covered in crappy posters made out of construction paper and colored felt-tip pens.<\/p>\n

We even had a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153debate,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d which really wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a debate. It was basically a two-minute statement about why we would make a good treasurer, which no one really paid attention to.<\/p>\n

On election day, I felt confident about my chances. However, despite the crappy posters, the flyers I passed out during recesses, and my two-minute statement about why I would make a good treasurer, I lost by a landslide.<\/p>\n

My opponent won so easily that it was like he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have an opponent at all.<\/p>\n

After years of following political campaigns, I now realize where I messed up. Instead of focusing on why I would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve made a good treasurer, I should\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve focused on why my opponent would\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve made a bad one. <\/p>\n

I should\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve pointed out that my opponent didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pay attention in class, didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do his homework, got into fights, made out with his girlfriend behind one of the classrooms, and got D\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s math.<\/p>\n

Why didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Ms. Zimmermann, my fifth grade teacher, teach this in social studies? Why didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t I learn the best way to beat an opponent is to point out their flaws? I might\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve won if I had bashed my opponent\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s character. <\/p>\n

Damn you, Ms. Zimmermann! Damn you!<\/p>\n

So what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the whole point of this story? <\/p>\n

No point. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just that the pain from that ass-whooping still hurts.<\/p>\n

Anyway, if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re registered to vote in the United States, please read up on each candidate and find out what they believe in. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t listen to polls, celebrities, spin-doctors, or political pundits. <\/p>\n

Enny, meenie, minny, moe, catch a tiger by its toe, works for dodgeball, but it doesn’t work for elections. Make YOUR OWN educated decision and vote tomorrow.<\/p>\n

Also, if any of you vote for ANY of the write-in presidential candidates, please don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t EVER talk to me again.<\/p>\n

To those who are too young to vote, I want you to remember that voting is cool. Just think of political campaigns as one long episode of American Idol. For example, think of Ralph Nader<\/a> as the William Hung<\/a> of the presidential election. He has no chance in hell of winning, but yet many love him for some strange reason.<\/p>\n

Oh wait. One more thing\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m Marvo and I approved this message.<\/p>\n

\n

Item:<\/b> Voting
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> Free (Must fill out easy application)
\nRating:<\/b> 5 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> You get to participate in democracy. Have your voice heard, which gets lost with the millions of other voters, spin-doctors, and political pundits. You won’t die<\/a>.
\nCons:<\/b> Waiting in line is a possibility, unless you do absentee voting. May lead to Supreme Court decision and delayed results.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My first real experience with elections began in the fifth grade when I ran for class treasurer. I felt I was the most qualified for the position, because I had always gotten really good grades in math. My opponent, on the other hand, didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have any qualifications, unless you count looks and popularity. Class elections […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-71","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":116,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/01\/05\/the-100-simple-secrets-of-successful-people-by-dr-david-niven\/","url_meta":{"origin":71,"position":0},"title":"The 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People","author":"Marvo","date":"January 5, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m slightly disappointed that I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a finalist in any of the categories I was nominated for at the Best of Blogs (BoB) Awards (Thanks to Yam, Suzanne, and Mellie for nominating me). 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