{"id":71732,"date":"2025-08-22T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-22T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=71732"},"modified":"2025-08-19T16:28:33","modified_gmt":"2025-08-20T02:28:33","slug":"kirkland-signature-combo-calzone-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/08\/22\/kirkland-signature-combo-calzone-review\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Combo Calzone"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Costco\u2019s food court is arguably the country\u2019s best cost-effective eatery. Where else can you get a two-dollar dog right after spending $450 on items such as an Army\u2019s supply of animal crackers and a year\u2019s worth of pipe-clogging wet wipes?<\/p>\n

Just me?<\/p>\n

I never skip the Costco Cafeteria. I\u2019ll take one of their obese slices over any national chain\u2019s wimpy pizza. I don\u2019t know where Chicken Bakes came from, but they\u2019re a marvel of modern science. That dirt cheap footlong? GOATed! And how can I forget the\u2026 *sigh* we still doing this?<\/p>\n

Double. Chocolate. Chunk. Cookie?!<\/a> Five Booms and whatnot.<\/p>\n

Everything is good.<\/p>\n

Well, everything WAS good. It is with great sorrow that I must report the new Kirkland Calzone Combo is a DOOM!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m baffled. How can this be? On paper, you would think a Costco food court Calzone would just marry the best parts of the pizza and the chicken bake, right? Pure ignorance.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

It certainly looks like a decent calzone. I really like the doughy, slightly crispy crust on the pizza slice, so having that as a giant pocket works. It was probably my favorite part of the experience, despite it getting worse as I got towards the center.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The filling is pure slop. A full-on work sloppage. Slopular Science. The King of Slop. A wop slop a loo bop a slop bom bom!<\/p>\n

The \u201cturnover\u201d comes packed with pepperoni, sausage, cheese, onions, peppers, sauce, olives, and mushrooms, all of which clash with each other.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not opposed to a supreme pizza, but all of these ingredients don\u2019t work in this pouch; it just makes everything wet with a gross flavor I can only describe as \u201cspiced slimy meat.\u201d That\u2019s all I tasted, but not even in a good pepperoni or sausage style, they blend with the veggies to make an off-putting \u201cspice\u201d that is neither hot nor appetizing. This is the opposite of the spice m\u00e9lange. One DUNE(!) on the \u201cBoom or Dune\u201d scale.<\/p>\n

I could probably get beyond the overall flavor if this thing had more cheese in it. It\u2019s severely lacking. I\u2019ll keep hyping the pizza, because I absolutely love that 700-calorie behemoth cheese slice. It\u2019s excessive, it\u2019s greasy, it\u2019s uniquely chewy, and I love it. This mushy deflated football needed that texture badly.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What you\u2019re looking at here is a giant Hot Pocket that you took out of the microwave fifteen seconds early. I\u2019m shocked at how much I disliked it. What a mess. This thing left a bad taste in my mouth literally and figuratively. The corners of the crust are basically the highlight. This should\u2019ve been a perfect amalgamation of the pizza and chicken bake, but instead it\u2019s a bastardization.<\/p>\n

1.66 out of 5 BOOMS, which is appropriately a \u201cboo.\u201d<\/p>\n

Purchased Price:<\/strong> $6.99
\nSize:<\/strong> n\/a
\nPurchased at:<\/strong> Costco
\nRating:<\/strong> 3 out of 10
\nNutrition Facts:<\/strong> 1,080 calories, 61 grams of fat, 25 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 2000 milligrams of sodium, 67 grams of total carbohydrates, 7 grams of total sugars, 4 grams of dietary fiber, 46 grams of protein.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Costco\u2019s food court is arguably the country\u2019s best cost-effective eatery. Where else can you get a two-dollar dog right after spending $450 on items such as an Army\u2019s supply of animal crackers and a year\u2019s worth of pipe-clogging wet wipes? Just me? I never skip the Costco Cafeteria. I\u2019ll take one of their obese slices […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1477,2306,1747],"class_list":["post-71732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-fast-food","tag-kirkland-signature","tag-pizza"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":78118,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2026\/06\/10\/kirkland-signature-chicken-strips-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":71732,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Chicken Strips","author":"Tiffany","date":"June 10, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Costco\u2019s food court is elite. The value is fantastic, the offerings are limited but finely curated, and I have shamelessly eaten a hot dog at 10 am. The warehouse store chain has been rolling out, replacing, and testing quite a few new items lately - churro and double chocolate chip\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"A glorious sign of things to come. 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There are bigger fish to review. But starting these posts that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Other Things I Consumed"","block_context":{"text":"Other Things I Consumed","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/other-things-i-consumed\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/lehappytates-600x450.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/lehappytates-600x450.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/lehappytates-600x450.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":76690,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2026\/04\/10\/kirkland-signature-caramel-churro-sundae-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":71732,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Kirkland Signature Caramel Churro Sundae","author":"Marvo","date":"April 10, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Costco\u2019s Food Court menu is pretty consistent. Yes, from time to time, a new item is added to the menu, but anything rarely sticks. Remember the cheeseburger? Remember the roast beef sandwich? Heck, because I need a good cry, I\u2019m also going to mention the beloved and long-discontinued Polish Dog\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Kirkland Signature Caramel Churro Sundae and its caramel swirls.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/kscarchusd1-600x750.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/kscarchusd1-600x750.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/kscarchusd1-600x750.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15660,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/11\/05\/quick-review-costco-kirkland-signature-bbq-beef-brisket-sandwich\/","url_meta":{"origin":71732,"position":3},"title":"QUICK REVIEW: Costco Kirkland Signature BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich","author":"Marvo","date":"November 5, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Purchased Price: $4.99 Size: N\/A Purchased at: Costco Rating: 6 out of 10 Pros: Lots of tender beef brisket. Hefty, filling sandwich. BBQ sauce has a pleasing peppery flavor. A surprisingly clean sandwich to eat thanks to the bun which doesn't disintegrate and the lack of BBQ sauce. Buying toilet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Costco Kirkland Signature BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3693\/10686759844_d7a11672e5.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":74336,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/12\/05\/spotted-kirkland-signature-creme-brulee-bar-cake-and-triple-chocolate-loaf\/","url_meta":{"origin":71732,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED: Kirkland Signature Creme Brulee Bar Cake and Triple Chocolate Loaf","author":"Marvo","date":"December 5, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"If you're inviting me to your Holiday Party, I'm probably bringing one of these. 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