![\"Starbucks](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm5.static.flickr.com\/4091\/5395231054_e4b279257d.jpg?resize=500%2C330\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nAs a non-coffee drinker, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never had a particularly close relationship with Starbucks.\u00c2\u00a0 I know many of you reading this have connected with them in a deep, meaningful way I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll never truly understand, like the bond between a man and his dog, or occasionally his wife.\u00c2\u00a0 I admire that, but there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no reason for me to pay three dollars for a small hot chocolate when Swiss Miss is free at work.\u00c2\u00a0 (With OR without marshmallows!)\u00c2\u00a0 That being said, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have anything against Starbucks, beyond the vaguely sinister-looking logo.\u00c2\u00a0 Their willingness to keep charging high prices in the midst of a massive recession was ballsy to the point of being almost endearing, and they really know how to tie a Barnes & Noble together.<\/p>\n
So when they recently began offering Artisan breakfast sandwiches, I seized on it as a way to join the java junkies and really get the full Starbucks experience.\u00c2\u00a0 There are currently two varieties of sandwiches — I chose Bacon, Egg & Gouda because the soul is what makes it taste good, but those who claim dominion over plants but not yummy, yummy animals have their own option with Veggie, Egg, & Monterey Jack.\u00c2\u00a0 Vegans, sorry to say, are S.O.L.; apparently that’s a demographic Starbucks feels they can do without, at least until they roll out their Lentils, Gravel & Soy sandwich next quarter.\u00c2\u00a0 What makes it “Artisan” is the use of fresh ciabatta bread, which has the dual quality of being fun to say and automatically adding a dollar to the price.<\/p>\n
All kidding aside, the bread IS good.\u00c2\u00a0 I would’ve been fine with just a biscuit because that’s the kind of low-brow guy I am, but it smells delicious and manages to be crispy but not hard on the outside and soft on the inside.\u00c2\u00a0 You may rest assured your barista isn’t just slapping some stale wonder bread left over from her kid’s lunch on your plate.\u00c2\u00a0 (Well, maybe yours is.\u00c2\u00a0 Perhaps you should consider tipping more than a buck every third visit, hmm?)\u00c2\u00a0 It’s also offset well by the bacon, which isn’t spilling out every side but still manages to seem pretty plentiful.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s key, because a common lament of food that aspires toward being more gourmet (even just a little) is that they tend to bolster the quality of the ingredients at the expense of quantity, with meat often being the first casualty.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re not going to feel like you’re eating a whole pig, but he’ll know you were there, by God.<\/p>\n
![\"Starbucks](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm5.static.flickr.com\/4085\/5395231310_6e0f61d902.jpg?resize=500%2C203\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nThe cheese also comes through in a big way, partnering with the bacon to make your mouth salivate even as somewhere the Grim Reaper knocks another three pegs off your “Days ’till first heart attack” tally.\u00c2\u00a0 If any element is underrepresented, it would have to be the egg.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s nothing wrong with it, it just doesn’t pack nearly the smell or the taste of its more aggressive sandwich-mates.\u00c2\u00a0 And you can’t really blame this on Starbucks (okay, maybe the barista), but when I broke it in half, all of the bacon and most of the egg ended up on one side, which is kind of like having a rollicking threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Cloris Leachman — yes, technically it’s still a threesome, but you’re really better off just splitting the difference.<\/p>\n
A final word of caution — the pictures make it hard to judge scale, but these are not massive sandwiches.\u00c2\u00a0 The bread is roughly five by five inches, so think of it more as a tasty mini-meal to help you power through a morning of inane coworker babble, rather than something that’s going to enable you to skip lunch.\u00c2\u00a0 (That’s what the schnapps in your lower left desk drawer is for.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t worry, your boss doesn’t know.\u00c2\u00a0 Yet.)\u00c2\u00a0 If it were a little larger and a little cheaper I’d be able to recommend it even more highly, but as is, it’s still delicious.\u00c2\u00a0 Anyone used to paying Starbucks prices already probably won’t mind, but if you’re strictly a Dunkin’ Donuts kind of person, this is not the largest quantity of food you could get for your money.\u00c2\u00a0 Though from what I understand, pairing it with a 12-ounce coffee will net you a pretty good discount on both, so… yep, hosed again.<\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 350 calories, 18 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 170 milligrams of cholesterol, 840 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar and 17 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Starbucks Artisan Bacon, Egg & Gouda Breakfast Sandwich
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.45 ($3.95 w\/ 12 oz. coffee)
\nSize:<\/b> N\/A
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Starbucks
\nRating:<\/b> 8 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Non-coffee drinkers have a reason to visit Starbucks.\u00c2\u00a0 Enhancing Barnes & Nobles.\u00c2\u00a0 Sandwich options for both conscienceless murderers and hippie wimps.\u00c2\u00a0 Smells as good as it tastes.\u00c2\u00a0 Does not skimp on bacon.\u00c2\u00a0 Hiding booze at work.
\nCons:<\/b> Illuminati logo.\u00c2\u00a0 Vegans shafted again.\u00c2\u00a0 Damn well better be gourmet for what you’re paying.\u00c2\u00a0 Gross threesomes.\u00c2\u00a0 Only a full breakfast if you weigh 110 pounds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As a non-coffee drinker, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never had a particularly close relationship with Starbucks.\u00c2\u00a0 I know many of you reading this have connected with them in a deep, meaningful way I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll never truly understand, like the bond between a man and his dog, or occasionally his wife.\u00c2\u00a0 I admire that, but there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no reason for me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1477,1542],"class_list":["post-8466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-fast-food","tag-starbucks"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11368,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/21\/prize-drawing-because-i-want-to-feed-your-starbucks-addiction\/","url_meta":{"origin":8466,"position":0},"title":"PRIZE DRAWING: Because I Want To Feed Your Starbucks Addiction","author":"Marvo","date":"February 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"This month, the Impulsive Buy will be giving away a $25 Starbucks gift card to one lucky reader. For some of you, that's a work week's worth of Starbucks coffee. For others, that's two or three days of Starbucks. And for one or two super-hyper people, a $25 Starbucks gift\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12790,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/06\/28\/news-starbucks-refreshers-to-come-in-via-form\/","url_meta":{"origin":8466,"position":1},"title":"NEWS: Starbucks Refreshers To Come In VIA Form","author":"Marvo","date":"June 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Have you ever thought to yourself, \"Hey! I REALLY like those Starbucks Refreshers, so much so that I wish they came in a snortable form.\" If so, your wish will soon come true because next month Starbucks will offer a VIA Ready Brew version of their Refreshers. (Note: Please don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Albert Square Starbucks","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3496\/3873395253_c3b0bd43bc.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":75462,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2026\/02\/04\/spotted-starbucks-sweet-cream-creamers\/","url_meta":{"origin":8466,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED: Starbucks Sweet Cream Creamers","author":"Marvo","date":"February 4, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Sweet! (Spotted by Sarah R at Target.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found them and \"Spotted\" in the subject line. Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Starbucks Sweet Cream White Chocolate Macadamia Creamer","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/sbxswcrwhtchomacacrer-600x800.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/sbxswcrwhtchomacacrer-600x800.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/sbxswcrwhtchomacacrer-600x800.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18078,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/02\/17\/fast-food-news-starbucks-tiramisu-latte\/","url_meta":{"origin":8466,"position":3},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Starbucks Tiramisu Latte","author":"Marvo","date":"February 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you standing in a Starbucks line and wondering what to order? Well, Starbucks has a new Tiramisu Latte (on the left). Also, Starbucks' Caramel Flan Latte (on the right) is back. The Tiramisu Latte features Starbucks' signature espresso, steamed milk, mascarpone flavor, and a dusting of cocoa powder. Starbucks\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Starbucks Tiramisu Latte","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Starbucks-Tiramisu-Latte.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Starbucks-Tiramisu-Latte.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/Starbucks-Tiramisu-Latte.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3944,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/06\/11\/review-starbucks-coffee-ice-cream\/","url_meta":{"origin":8466,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Starbucks Coffee Ice Cream","author":"Marvo","date":"June 11, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"As a place that is known for its calorie-filled coffee concoctions, I wasn't surprised that Starbucks has their own line of calorie-filled coffee ice cream concoctions, although these pints of ice cream can't be bought in one of the dozens of Starbucks locations within a 10 miles radius of you.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Starbucks Coffee Ice Cream","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/Starbucks-Coffee-Ice-Cream-1024x1024.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/Starbucks-Coffee-Ice-Cream-1024x1024.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/Starbucks-Coffee-Ice-Cream-1024x1024.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":13310,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/08\/28\/news-get-ready-to-hoard-pumpkin-spice-via-ready-brew-packets-starbucks-pumpkin-spice-latte-fans\/","url_meta":{"origin":8466,"position":5},"title":"NEWS: Get Ready to Hoard Pumpkin Spice VIA Ready Brew Packets Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte Fans","author":"Marvo","date":"August 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: Click here to read our Starbucks VIA Ready Brew Pumpkin Spice review There are many people out there who wish the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte was available year round. Heck, I'm pretty sure if some of them could control the weather they would maintain fall\/winter weather year round if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Starbucks Pumpkin?","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm2.staticflickr.com\/1051\/1363247398_d436bf2cb9.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8466"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8466\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}