{"id":8542,"date":"2011-02-04T15:19:13","date_gmt":"2011-02-05T01:19:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=8542"},"modified":"2023-08-29T17:32:58","modified_gmt":"2023-08-30T03:32:58","slug":"review-doritos-pizza-supreme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/02\/04\/review-doritos-pizza-supreme\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Doritos Pizza Supreme"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Doritos<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you want a friend to punch you in the face?<\/p>\n

The first thing you’re going to have to do is plan a day long hiking trip and invite your friend to come along. It should be a long and physically punishing hike. It should also be far away from civilization and involve either a raging river, steep cliffs or wildlife that could kill you. Tell your friend that you’ll be driving and responsible for packing and carrying the food and water on the hike. Pack a few bottles of water and finger food snacks, like granola, fruits, carrot sticks, raw meat and other foods you normally wouldn’t eat.<\/p>\n

When you’re on the hike, stop for occasional water breaks. If your friend wants to eat, tell him or her that they should wait until they get to a good place to rest and that there’s one up ahead. After 15 minutes have gone by and your friend asks, “Are we there yet?”, say that it’s just around the corner. At this point, keep an eye out for a raging river, steep cliffs, or a bear. After 30 minutes have passed and your friend asks, “Are we fucking there yet?”, tell your friend not yet. Continue to look out for a raging river, steep cliff, or a creature that could maul you. When you do end up next to a river, next to a cliff or in the view of a wild animal, tell your friend that the two of you should stop to take a break.<\/p>\n

This next part is essential if you want your friend to punch you in the face, and what you do depends on whether you’re next to a river, steep cliff or wild beast who could eat you for dinner. If you’re next to a river, pretend to trip and fall, drop the food into the river and yell, “Aaack, the food fell into the river and it’s being taken away by the current!” If you’re next to a steep cliff, pretend to trip and fall, drop the food over the edge of the cliff, and yell, “Aaack, the food fell over the edge and I can’t get to it!” If you’re near a wild deadly animal, point at the beast, throw the food at it, and yell, “Aaack, (insert beast type here)! I threw our food at it. We should run away while it’s distracted.”<\/p>\n

Then you and your friend should run back to your car. Make sure neither of you gets captured and eaten by the wild animal, or everything would’ve been in vain. When back in your car, begin the long drive home. By now, your friend will be hungry and tired and will tell you to stop somewhere for food, but tell your friend you’re craving pizza and will order one and have it delivered when the two of you get back.<\/p>\n

If possible, try to get pulled over by the police for speeding.<\/p>\n

When the two of you get back of your place, pretend to order a pizza without having to make an actual call, then tell your friend that the pizza place will deliver it in 30 minutes. <\/p>\n

After 30 minutes have passed by and you friend asks, “Where’s the pizza?”, say it should be here any minute. After 45 minutes have passed and your friend asks, “Where’s the fucking pizza?”, pretend to look agitated and then pick up your phone and pretend to call the pizza place. While on the phone, nod your head a few times, say “It better get here soon” and then hang up. By the time one hour passes, your friend should be extremely hungry, tired and grumpy, so tell your friend that you’ll wait outside for the pizza delivery person. When you get outside, yell “Finally, it’s about time. I should get a free pizza for this.” Then open the door, look back like you’re talking to a delivery person and say, “The only tip I’m going to give you is to not take so damn long to deliver a pizza.” Then slam the door behind you.<\/p>\n

Then grab a bag of Doritos Pizza Supreme, run towards your friend, and throw the bag at your friend’s face while yelling, “It’s not delivery. It’s Doritos. And your mom is a whore!”<\/p>\n

If this doesn’t get your friend to punch you in the face, I don’t know what will.<\/p>\n

\"Doritos<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

The flavor of the Doritos Pizza Supreme is supposed to be complex like the 700-plus word instructions for a sociological Rube Goldberg machine that you just read. According to Frito-Lay, thanks to their “Flavor Plus” technology, we’re supposed to be able to taste every ingredient found on a supreme pizza, which usually includes, sausage, pepperoni, bell peppers, mushrooms, onions and olives.<\/p>\n

While my taste buds had trouble picking out each component found on a supreme pizza, as a whole, the Doritos Pizza Supreme did taste like a supreme pizza and I enjoyed them. Although, I had my doubts because when I opened the bag it smelled like a Totino’s Pepperoni Party Pizza. Besides the flavor, everything else about these chips are typical of most Doritos: the crunch, the triangular shape of each chip and the cheesy powder that gets stuck to your fingers, like iron shavings on a magnet.<\/p>\n

Currently, the Doritos Pizza Supreme is only available for a limited time, but I hope they’re successful enough that they become a permanent flavor, because I like them. I also hope Doritos continues to make more chips that taste like greasy fast food, because they seem to be adept at it. I don’t know how Frito-Lay’s “Flavor Plus” technology works, but I bet it’s as complex as trying to get a friend to punch you in the face, Rube Goldberg-style.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 240 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 7 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A and 2% iron.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Doritos Pizza Supreme
\nPrice:<\/b> $1.09
\nSize:<\/b> 1.75 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Subway
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> It tastes like a supreme pizza. Tasty. Getting a friend to punch you in the face Rube Goldberg-style. Crunchy. 7 grams of polyunsaturated fat. Leaves cheesy residue on fingers. Frito-Lay’s Flavor Plus technology. Getting to say, “It’s not delivery. It’s Doritos.”
\nCons:<\/b> Smells like Totino’s Pepperoni Party Pizza. Couldn’t pick out every single ingredient found on a supreme pizza. Contains MSG. Available for a limited time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you want a friend to punch you in the face? The first thing you’re going to have to do is plan a day long hiking trip and invite your friend to come along. It should be a long and physically punishing hike. It should also be far away from civilization and involve either a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1474,1657,1594],"class_list":["post-8542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-chips","tag-doritos","tag-frito-lay"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":27056,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/02\/12\/review-doritos-blaze\/","url_meta":{"origin":8542,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Doritos Blaze","author":"Marvo","date":"February 12, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Blaze. Inferno. Flame. Burn. Fire. Heat. Heatwave. Already used. Wildfire. Firestorm. Angry. Fury. Hmm, possibilities. Combustion. Conflagration. Okay, scraping the bottom of the barrel, but I guess they would work. What am I doing? I\u2019m coming up with new spicy Doritos flavor names using my computer\u2019s thesaurus. As you can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Doritos-Blaze-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Doritos-Blaze-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Doritos-Blaze-2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9068,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/04\/08\/news-taco-bells-doritos-locos-taco-sounds-like-the-work-of-creative-stoners\/","url_meta":{"origin":8542,"position":1},"title":"NEWS: Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Taco Sounds Like The Work Of Creative Stoners","author":"Marvo","date":"April 8, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Now that's what I'm talking about, bitches! 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Well, my Taco Bell obsessed friend, you are correct. The Doritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch is here. It's a warm flatbread that's attached\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Taco Bell Doritos Cheesy Gordita Crunch","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taco-Bell-Doritos-Cheesy-Gordita-Crunch.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taco-Bell-Doritos-Cheesy-Gordita-Crunch.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Taco-Bell-Doritos-Cheesy-Gordita-Crunch.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8222,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/01\/09\/news-doritos-releases-limited-edition-taco-flavor-in-retro-bag-thats-from-a-time-in-your-life-when-you-could-eat-doritos-and-not-worry-about-getting-fat\/","url_meta":{"origin":8542,"position":3},"title":"NEWS: Doritos Releases Limited Edition Taco Flavor In Retro Bag That’s From A Time In Your Life When You Could Eat Doritos and Not Worry About Getting Fat","author":"Marvo","date":"January 9, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"For those of you who follow snack news religiously, the Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos is old news since it was released last month. But I only heard about them the other day. Despite it being slightly old news, I decided to post something about it because, to be honest,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"chips","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3246\/3102914696_97c7e02079.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":61954,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2024\/04\/29\/doritos-baja-fiery-mango-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":8542,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Doritos Baja Fiery Mango","author":"Marvo","date":"April 29, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"With the introduction of these new Doritos Baja Fiery Mango Tortilla Chips, will we start seeing a new fruity Baja chip flavor every year, similar to how Mtn Dew rolls out new Baja soda varieties annually? 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