![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/blktoothpaste.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nThe Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste combines three things I’m scared of when it comes to products to review — it’s from a Southeastern Asian country (Thailand), it’s herbal, and it looks like something that might come out of an asshole. Not surprisingly, the most disturbing out of the three for me is the fact it looks like shit, and believe me I know what shit looks like because I’ve seen the 2 Girls 1 Cup video enough that I could make the calmest reaction video ever.<\/p>\n
Fortunately for me, the packaging came in Thai and English so I could read what I was getting myself into, but not even the English language could help ease my trepidation about the product. I’m used to toothpaste with sodium fluoride, foaming agents, and the American Dental Association Seal of Acceptance, but not toothpaste made from over ten natural herbs, sorbitol, and flavour. The packaging doesn’t even list the natural herbs, except for streblus asper and clove, which makes me wonder if this product is a true Thai toothpaste or a tourist tricking toothpaste?<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/blktoothpaste2.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nSpeaking of its ten natural herbs, the Twin Lotus Herbal Toothpaste gets its dark shit-like color from them, but according to the packaging those herbs also have an oral hygienic kick. <\/p>\n
(Editor’s Note: The following quote from the package has not been altered for grammatical correctness.)<\/small><\/p>\n With over 10 natural herbal ingredients keeps gums and teeth healthy firmly. It relieves sensitive teeth and decreases cigarette, tea and coffee stains, eliminates bad breath, keeps breath fresh and clean.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Its scent reminded me of the Sea Breeze astringent I used to suck up the oil from my face in the late 1980s. The scent also reminded me of the alcoholic burn from the Sea Breeze astringent, which had the same rousing abilities as smelling salt. When I first brushed with the Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste, I could only stand it for 15 seconds before having to spit it out because it tasted like what I imagine the sole of a boot that has walked on a herbal farm tastes like. However, the more I brushed with it, the more I got used to it and now I can go the whole three minutes of brushing without gagging. <\/p>\n The foam made by the Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste was disturbingly tan in color. Also, my mouth still felt gritty after rinsing the first time, so I had to rinse a second time to ensure that I wouldn’t cause any unusual sensations if I had to French kiss or salad toss someone. <\/p>\n Now that I’m used to its flavor, the Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste is something I would use to brush during odd times, like after lunch, but it isn’t something I would use for brushing in the morning or before I go to bed because I love fluoride to protect my teeth. However, I’m quickly running out of it because I’m having too much fun using it to make small piles of fake dog poop.<\/p>\n (Editor’s Note: I would like to Item:<\/b> Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste The Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste combines three things I’m scared of when it comes to products to review — it’s from a Southeastern Asian country (Thailand), it’s herbal, and it looks like something that might come out of an asshole. Not surprisingly, the most disturbing out of the three for me is the fact […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1185,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/10\/29\/dog-poop-herbal-toothpaste-winners-announced\/","url_meta":{"origin":913,"position":0},"title":"Dog Poop Herbal Toothpaste Winners Announced!!!","author":"Marvo","date":"October 29, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"There are a whole bunch of you who didn't win the Twin Lotus Herbal Toothpaste from Thailand and are probably disappointed about that. But think of all the gagging you would've gone through if you had won. Think about the brown paste coming out of the tube and occasionally making\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":943,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/09\/11\/prize-drawing-because-i-want-someone-else-to-experience-my-pain\/","url_meta":{"origin":913,"position":1},"title":"PRIZE DRAWING: Because I Want Someone Else To Experience My Pain","author":"Marvo","date":"September 11, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently, I reviewed the Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste. Although I'm using it on a regular basis (every third day or so), it took some time to get used to its taste, which is a nice way of saying something like, \"Wooo! You dropped a bomb in here. But the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5297,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/11\/29\/prize-drawing-because-its-the-season-of-giving\/","url_meta":{"origin":913,"position":2},"title":"PRIZE DRAWING: Because It’s The Season of Giving","author":"Marvo","date":"November 29, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Agoraphobics call it, \"The Season of Avoiding Shopping Malls and the Post Office.\" Retail workers who don't work on commission call it, \"The Worst Time to Work in Retail.\" But for many, they call this time of year, \"The Season of Giving.\" Right now, I'm in the mood to give\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/10\/27\/crest-whitening-expressions-variety-pack\/","url_meta":{"origin":913,"position":3},"title":"Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack","author":"Marvo","date":"October 27, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Wh-wh-what? Review? Oh, yeah. Sorry folks, I was just drooling over the new iPod Photo and crying because my third-generation iPod is slowly becoming less and less cool. If I had the money I would get an iPod Photo in a heartbeat, but this gig as the editor of a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1151,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/10\/23\/sarsi\/","url_meta":{"origin":913,"position":4},"title":"Sarsi","author":"Marvo","date":"October 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm a sucker for packaged foreign foods, like Mario is a sucker for gold coins and princesses who always get captured. It's like I'm a less adventurous Anthony Bourdain, not willing to consume things that produces bodily fluids or things that are still alive. I'm not sure why I get\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16287,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/02\/12\/review-crest-be-adventurous-mint-chocolate-trek-toothpaste\/","url_meta":{"origin":913,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste","author":"Kevin","date":"February 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey, partner! Are you ready for an adventure? Let\u2019s go! Jump on the back of this train! Shhh, we\u2019re stowaways! Avoid the lions! Climb a mountain! Keep hydrated! Crack a whip! Look, our trusty sidekick Short Round is here! (Holy Moly! Hi, it\u2019s me!) Down the waterfall! 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<\/center><\/p>\ncurse<\/strike> thank TIB reader LaneO for providing me with the Twin Lotus Original Herbal Toothpaste to review.)<\/small><\/p>\n
\nPrice:<\/b> FREE
\nSize:<\/b> 200 grams
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Given by reader LaneO
\nRating:<\/b> 2 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Made from more than ten genuine natural herbs. English translation. Natural oral care. Makes awesome fake dog poop. Not being bothered by 2 Girls 1 Cup.
\nCons:<\/b> Looks like shit. Tastes like making out with Joan Rivers after a clove cigarette. Looks like shit. No fluoride. Looks like shit. Leaves a gritty feeling in my mouth. Looks like shit. Smells like Sea Breeze astringent. Looks like shit. Takes some time to get used to its taste.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"