Why do Goldfish crackers smile? <\/p>\n
I’ve always wondered this because their smiles freaks me out as much as clowns do. <\/p>\n
They have no reason to smile, because I’m going to crush their fragile cracker bodies with my teeth, then let their mangled, saliva soaked bodies travel through my digestive system, and then I’m going to poop them out of my body. How can a Goldfish smile knowing that fate?<\/p>\n
So if tiny smiling Goldfish crackers freak me out, I believe I’ll have nightmares forever if I come face to face with the new Pepperidge Farms Goldfish Sandwich Bread. Yes, bread shaped like smiling Goldfish crackers. <\/p>\n
They’ve been available for several weeks and come in packs of eight in either white or whole wheat. The freaky crust-free bread has 120 calories, 3 gram of fiber, and 18 grams of whole grains per serving. They also don’t contain high fructose corn syrup. Pepperidge Farms Goldfish Sandwich Bread has a suggested retail price of $3.49.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Why do Goldfish crackers smile? I’ve always wondered this because their smiles freaks me out as much as clowns do. They have no reason to smile, because I’m going to crush their fragile cracker bodies with my teeth, then let their mangled, saliva soaked bodies travel through my digestive system, and then I’m going to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1333],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spotted-on-shelves"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":60211,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2024\/01\/22\/goldfish-crisps-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":9169,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Goldfish Crisps","author":"Ann","date":"January 22, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"There have been so many flavors of Goldfish Crackers that it becomes difficult to pinpoint at any one time exactly how many are actively on the market. But there are only THREE types of Goldfish CRISPS, and that\u2019s easier to figure out because they\u2019re brand new, baby! When I think\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/gfcrisps1-600x450.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/gfcrisps1-600x450.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/gfcrisps1-600x450.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":51395,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/05\/26\/goldfish-old-bay-crackers-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":9169,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers","author":"Tiffany","date":"May 26, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"What are Goldfish Old Bay Seasoned Crackers? Goldfish's latest limited edition drop brings Old Bay seasoning to the cracker aisle! If you've never had it, it's a signature blend of 18 herbs and spices. It was invented in Baltimore, Maryland, for steamed crab, so I still immediately associate it with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/obgoldfish4.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/obgoldfish4.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/obgoldfish4.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/obgoldfish4.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":41881,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2020\/01\/20\/pepperidge-farm-goldfish-veggie-crackers-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":9169,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Veggie Crackers","author":"Mark","date":"January 20, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"What are Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Veggie Crackers? 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