REVIEW: Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar

Written by | January 28, 2009

Topics: 5 Rating, Candy, Food, Snacks

Salty and sweet should just get a room already.

A lot of confectionary companies have been putting the two together for years, but let’s make their joining official. I say we stick them in a hotel room, close the door behind us, hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door knob, and let nature takes its course, like newlyweds consummating their marriage.

Although I will feel sorry for the person in housekeeping who has to clean up that mess after salty and sweet do their thing.

One candy company has come up with a creative way to blend salty and sweet. The Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar, on paper, is a sexy three-way copulation between applewood smoked bacon, alder wood smoked salt and milk chocolate. It’s not titillating because there’s a lot of wood involved. It’s hot because Vosges takes two things that are already sexy on their own — bacon and chocolate — and puts them together into an exotic amalgamation that your grandma wouldn’t approve of. I guess the Mo’s Bacon Bar is like the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt of candy bars. And your grandma who wouldn’t approve of it is Jennifer Aniston.

As appealing and exciting as it seemed on the outside, the taste of Mo’s Bacon Bar on my tongue teetered on the borderline of interesting and slightly disgusting. When there was too much bacon in a bite, it tasted like what I imagine the aftertaste of shotgunning a bottle of Bac-Os would be, but when there’s only a hint of bacon its salty and sweet combination isn’t bad. The bacon not only gives this candy bar its saltiness, smoky scent and ability to make people say “What the fuck?” in the middle of a fine foods store — where you’ll probably find these — it also provides the bar with a little crunchiness, like toffee pieces would.

To fully enjoy the candy bar, there are some optional instructions: “Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate.” I did do this, but all I ended up with were chocolate covered fingers from rubbing too hard and fast, which I guess is really my fault since rubbing really hard and fast is a force of habit.

I thought bacon made everything better, but the Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar has proven me very wrong. And now that I know it’s not true, I don’t know what to believe in anymore. Maybe there is a Santa Claus. Maybe I CAN put my entire fist in my mouth. Maybe Simon Cowell gives constructive criticism. Maybe I’m the last Cylon.

I don’t know anymore.

(Nutrition Facts – 3 squares (2.5 servings per bar) – 170 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams dietary fiber, 20 grams sugar, 3 grams protein, 4% Calcium, and 6% Iron.)

(Editor’s Note: Thanks to the TIB readers who recommended this product. Candy Addict also reviewed this exotic amalgamation.)

Item: Vosges Mo’s Bacon Bar
Price: $7.99
Size: 3 ounces
Purchased at: R. Field
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Not bad when there’s a hint of bacon. Bacon gives the bar a nice crunchiness. Gluten free. Being able to say “What the fuck?” in the middle of a fine foods store.
Cons: One the borderline of interesting and disgusting. Kind of gross when there’s too much bacon in a bite. Cleaning up after salty and sweet do their thang. Learning that bacon does not make everything better.






23 Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Kitty says:

    I question the decision to pair the bacon with a milk chocolate. With only 41% cocoa, I’d say that the milk solids are probably what’s throwing the taste off. Give it a nice dark chocolate, say, at least 70%, a hint of maple & a piece of nicely crisped (nothing soft allowed) strip of bacon & I’m sure it’d be AWESOME!!!

  2. Marvo says:

    @Chuck – I know. It shattered everything in my life too.

    @yr momz – Actually, this is your fifth comment. Anyway, now you know how baby birds eat.

    @Jo Fletcher – I’ve had spicy chocolate and I think it’s not bad as long as the spice doesn’t overpower the chocolate.

    @Jasmine – I heard a lot of people like this candy bar, but personally I just couldn’t get into it. Maybe if it was chocolate wrapped in bacon it would be better and possibly kill me.

    @Heidi – I think it’s worth the eight bucks I paid for it, not because it’s good but because it’s such a novelty. The curry candy bar sounds intriguing. Maybe that’s the next one I’ll review.

    @NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian – Unfortunately, not everyone will understand that reference.

    @betsy – I’m sorry to hear about your car and your experience with this candy bar. I would dance for you, but I’ve been doing a lot of dancing recently so I’m danced out.

    @Jason – It looks like dog toy that could kill a dog, since chocolate, I believe, is poisonous to dogs.

    @lex – That’s not coke in her glass, it’s straight up whiskey mixed with the tears of failed American Idol contestants.

    @Schafeman – Like all good action, you are going to have to pay for it.

    @luckinflux – Calm down. No one is taking my bacon card. And if you try, I’m going to dump this piece of bacon in my hand down the drain. Don’t come any closer. I’ll do it.

  3. Marvo says:

    @Pomai – I disagree. I think the greatest marriage with bacon has got to be bacon and maple syrup.

    @Jordan – Heh. You said, “nut trick.” I have another bar somewhere around here. I may just try that.

    @Nhiro – WTF? Serious? Bacon cupcakes. Now that’s something I have to review. Oh, I just had an idea pop in my head. Bacon wrapped Twinkies!!!

    @Rowen – I’m trying to figure out what’s the next step after this. I’m thinking bacon cola. Jones Soda Company, please get on that.

    @lulu – First off, no need to censor yourself here at TIB. If you want to write the word shit, feel free to write the word shit. Some people really like this bar. I’ve read several positive reviews about it, but my taste buds didn’t think that way.

    @Wendell – Just to let you know, you can also get this at Foodland if you can’t get it at the Honolulu Chocolate Company

    @neil – Hmm…I wonder if peanut butter would make his taste better. You got me thinking and wanting to experiment.

    @shNermal – I prefer my bacon to be raw and wrapped around my body like a mummy.

    @Kitty – I would attempt to make that, but I am so inept in the kitchen that it makes my skills in the bedroom seem otherworldly.



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